Since I already talked to the ladies, I think it's time I had a little chat with the fellas, too. Being a female, I like to think I have some idea of what women are looking for. Although, as you already know, some bitches be crazy. So for the sake of argument, let's just say this is a general list of things *most* gals prefer to see in a man.
1. Don't be an idiot.
If you want to be a complete jackass when you are hanging with your boys, feel free. But if you want to get/keep a decent woman, keep your idiotic behavior to a controlled level. This includes: out of hand drinking, childish activities, foul language, etc. If you think it might annoy her, it probably will. So don't do it.
2. Hygiene is a must.
Women want a man who looks and smells clean. Not someone who looks and smells like they just rolled out of a dumpster. Take regular showers. Use good smelling products while you're in there. Deodorant isn't just for special occasions. Use it every day. Check your finger and toe nails. Do you look like you are ready to dig your way to China? Gross. Cut them. While we're on the subject, buy a nail brush and scrub underneath them. We can assume where your hands have been, we don't need proof. Do your laundry often. Unless you are working on your car or fixing something, there is no excuse to be rocking stained and dirty clothes. You don't look cool, you look homeless. Brush your teeth at least twice a day. If you had a coney with extra onions for lunch, brush again. And gargle. Oh, and flossing isn't just something the dentist can do. Buy some and use it. Invest in good cologne. A nice smelling man is sexier. Period. But don't overdue it. A little goes a long way.
3. Hair dos and don'ts.
If you use hair products, I beg of you, don't get carried away. A woman wants to be able to touch your hair, and maybe run her fingers through it. Not get stuck in it. We also don't want to feel like it took you longer to get ready than us. So keep it simple. Keep your facial hair trimmed and nice looking. I know giant beards are all the rage now, and while *some* gals may like that, most of us prefer a minimal amount of facial hair. We don't want to guess at what you look like underneath the fur mask. Trim your nose and ear hairs. They make these great little tools for it and it takes seconds. If I can't focus on what you're saying because I am watching your nose hairs dance around, we're going to have a problem. Look in the mirror. If you can see them, so can everyone else. Snip, snip. Now fellas... if you are blessed with the body hair of a gorilla, don't fret. Not all women want their men as smooth and hairless as a newborn. BUT... we also don't want to date Cousin Itt. Invest in an electric trimmer. They come with all sorts of attachments and guards that can be used to maintain a clean look. When I said before, that women like to run their fingers through your hair, I wasn't talking about the hair on your back. So, keep it manscaped. And when in doubt, there's always waxing. Ask your mother for the number to her salon, and let them help you out.
4. Expectations.
I said it to the ladies, and I'll say it to you guys. If you want the perfect girl, you better be the perfect guy. Unless you look like Channing Tatum, don't expect her to look like a Victoria's Secret model. Real women come in all shapes and sizes, and aren't airbrushed to perfection. The sooner you accept this, the better off you'll be. Also, don't expect a woman to think and act like you. Odds are, she won't. Women are different than men. Period. It is a scientific fact that male and female brains work differently. You may not always understand her, so just be patient and kind. A hug goes a long way sometimes.
5. Helpful hints.
Here are a few secrets to help you guys out. Women are really not that complicated. If you want to understand her, listen to her. Pay attention to what she says and how she says it. Watch her body language. *Most* women crave attention. Compliment her. You don't have to lavish her with gifts, but please try to remember her birthday and your anniversary at the very least. Treat her with respect. BE HONEST. I cannot stress this enough. Right from the get go, always be honest. No woman wants to find out 3 years into a relationship that you're anti marriage and kids.
Now guys, these are by no means the only rules you should follow, but they are a good baseline for finding and keeping a quality woman. And if you are ever in doubt, feel free to ask us, we love to tell you what we want. ;)
Yes, this is a photo of bacon. If you treat a woman right, she might just make you some.
Ok gals, it's time for some real talk. As a female, I hear all the "Bitches be crazy" stuff and as much as I want to argue... well, I can't. Bitches really CAN be crazy. I think it's time we started being honest with each other. So here goes...
Ladies, if you are single and can't seem to find or keep a man, maybe it's time to stop blaming the guys and start being honest. Maybe the problem isn't with the fellas. Maybe YOU need to work on some things. Here's a basic checklist to see if *possibly* the problem is you.
1. Are you expecting more than you are offering?
For example: Do you expect a man to be gorgeous, physically fit, employed, a home owner, no kids, no baggage, etc? If so, you better take a minute to run through that checklist yourself. Do YOU meet all your own requirements? If not, than why is it ok to expect someone else to?
2. Do you have a romantic notion that life is like the movies?
If you spend all your free time watching romantic comedies and reading romance novels and expect life to be the same, you are insane. Life isn't a movie. The perfect guy probably isn't going to look like Ryan Gosling and write you love songs.
3. Are you realistic in your expectations of a partner?
It's ok to have an idea in mind of what your "perfect" man might be, as long as you understand that he probably doesn't exist. If you spend all your time looking for some unrealistic perfect man, you are going to miss out on some real, genuine good guys. If you are over the age of 16, more than likely anyone you meet will come with some baggage. Guess what? You have some too. No one is perfect, so stop looking for that or you will find yourself alone forever.
4. Are you crazy?
This is where you will need to be VERY honest with yourself. Women have a tendency to overlook a lot of unattractive behaviors or make excuses for them. If you act crazy, you will attract crazy men. If you act trashy, you will attract trashy men. If you act like a crazy, jealous stalker, you will scare men away. Here's a quick crazy test. Go to your social media pages and take a scroll. What do you see? If you are constantly bitching about your ex or being single, causing drama or posting a million duck face photos of yourself, you might be crazy. Get yourself in check.
5. Stop using your past as an excuse.
If every time you meet a new guy you are comparing him to an ex... STOP. Not only is that unfair, but it is inexcusable. Unless you want to be compared to every female he has ever known, knock it off. Your past is your past. Leave it there. Unless you want to continue to make the same mistakes, let it go, move on and start fresh. Remember, YOU made those choices, so you can blame the guys all you want, but if you stayed with a cheater or a loser or an abuser and allowed the behavior to continue, you have to accept some of the blame. That is the harsh truth. If you keep picking the "wrong" guys every time, maybe the problem isn't the guys.
6. Are you overlooking the obvious?
Do you have a male friend that you adore? Do you turn to him each and every time a relationship doesn't work out? Well, unless he's gay or spoken for, maybe it's time you opened your eyes. Stop "friending" every good guy just to continue to date losers. If he treats you well, you have tons in common, and he makes you laugh... he's a catch. One day, some girl is going to snatch him up and you are going to realize what you missed. Maybe it's time to make your "Plan B" your new Plan A.
Bottom line ladies, is that if you want a REAL relationship, then you have to start by being real yourself. If you expect perfection, than you better be offering it. Be honest about who you are and what you expect. Life is enough of a guessing game, relationships shouldn't be. If you want a man to treat you like gold, you better be ready to return the favor. This is a two way street. You need to be willing to give in order to receive. And compromise is key. You aren't always going to get your way. So get your crazy in check and stop giving us ladies a bad name.
