Lessons From Loss

You know that instant of vivid realization that hits you after something terrible happens? Those life changing moments of clarity that remind you to live life to the fullest, and that tomorrow isn't promised. We've all experienced them, but more often than not, they are short lived, and we go right back to our normal routines.
Let me tell you a little secret... those flashes of insight and understanding are your brain's way of telling you to stop and smell the roses. You should really listen.
I can't tell you how often I hear people say "Life is short." or how many times a day I see social media photo quotes about dancing in the rain, and making the most of your time. But do we really take it to heart? The answer for most, is no. It's easy to click a share button, or to say something trite when the moment calls for it, but to really live that philosophy is a whole different ballgame.
We live in a fast paced world, where keeping up with the Joneses is commonplace and expected. Bigger, better, more... those are the words we tend to live by. Quantity wins out over quality 8 times out of 10.
From the earliest ages, we are taught to think far into the future. At age 5, we are asked what we want to be when we grow up. You know what I wanted to be at 5 years old? A kid. I wanted to play with my friends, be creative, run around outside until I was exhausted then go to bed and start all over the next day. I didn't want to think past recess, let alone into my adulthood.
It's no wonder that adults are so focused on the future, and planning ahead. We are trained to do that. And while there are obvious benefits to that, what about living in the present? At what point do we ask ourselves "What do you want to be right now?" Not 5, 10, or 20 years down the line, but in this very moment. What do you want? Maybe your answer is simple. A taco, or a massage. And maybe your answer is more complex... better health, a good relationship, a family. How often are you ignoring those desires because you are looking past them into some far off distant future? Probably a lot.
While some of those wants may seem trivial or silly, if they bring you even a moment of happiness, aren't they worth it? Is calling in sick to spend an impromptu afternoon with your best friend really going to cost you that much? Or leaving work early to make it to your daughter's soccer game? I'll bet seeing her face light up when she sees you in the stands is worth way more than those few hours of overtime.
It's good to look ahead sometimes. To make smart decisions, and have a plan for the future. But don't get so far ahead that you forget about the present. Be willing to stop and enjoy what you have now, instead of always counting on what you might have later. Don't ignore the people in your life today, because while you are planning out your future, they might not be there for it.
We really are only given so much time. How do you want yours to be spent? Making money? Or making memories? Making a living? Or making a life?
When we focus on the present, and live in the moment, we are truly experiencing life. Not watching it from the sidelines, or living vicariously through others. Will you make mistakes? Of course! But you'll learn from them. Will you get hurt sometimes? Probably. But it will make you stronger, smarter, and better. The fact is, you are always going to regret more the things you DIDN'T do, than the things you did. If you were told that you had one week to live, would that big house, fancy car, and pile of gadgets give you comfort? Would you be able to look your loved ones in the eyes and know that you gave them all wonderful memories to cherish long after you are gone?
Life IS short. I know this from experience. I never expected to have to say goodbye to my 18 year old son. He should have had his whole life ahead of him. We always think we have time. To make up for mistakes, to say I love you, to take that vacation, or to live out our dreams. But the reality is... we have no idea how much time we have.
Today really could be your last. So please.... make it count.

Have a very Berry Christmas!

Well, it's Christmas Eve. Hopefully, all your presents are bought and wrapped, your cookies are baked and decorated, your halls are fully decked and you are set to enjoy the magic of Christmas.
If not, well... I wish you the very best. :)
I know for me, Christmas Eve means watching 'A Christmas Story' at least 3 or 4 times and enjoying tasty cookies and snacks. Growing up though, this day meant something very different. As a kid, my siblings and I would spend the day planning out our Christmas morning adventure. Usually this included trying to find all the booby traps my father set in his attempts to catch us in the act of extra early morning spying. Over the years, my old man had gotten pretty clever. Once he lifted the carpet on the stairs and installed an alarm button, that when we stepped on it, triggered a warning in their bedroom. Another year, he hid a microphone in the tree so he could hear us whispering when we snuck out to it. Needless to say, no matter how well we planned, we always got busted. But it was fun to draw our maps & plan our attack anyway. And it killed time until we went to our family Christmas party. This was always a good time. Lots of delicious food, hanging with the family that we only saw a few times a year and singing carols around the piano. The night always ended with reading "The Night Before Christmas" and on the drive home, my dad would say we needed to hurry and get to bed before Santa came or he would have to skip our house. To prove his point and speed up the program, he would point at the red light on one of the towers and say "Uh oh, that's Rudolph right there, we'd better hurry." Of course, we didn't know that it wasn't really Rudolph and Santa, so we got to bed lickety split. But it was a short term fix. Within an hour, we were all piled into one of our bedrooms, maps in hand, ready to outwit our dad. Thus insued a night long mission to catch Santa in the act and of course get the first glimpse of our gifts. These are the memories I treasure the most. Looking back, I realize the magic wasn't the actual gifts (although, don't get me wrong, getting the Strawberry Cafe was quite exciting) it was more the traditions and spending time together that has stayed with me all these years. But times have changed, and so have my traditions. I still miss the old ones, but I treasure the new ones I've made with my own family and look forward still to new ones in the future. Christmas may change as we grow older, but the magic doesn't have to. We can still enjoy time spent with loved ones and even sing a carol or two, even if it's just while you're alone in the car. The point is, Christmas is what you make of it, so make it magical.
Hug your loved ones, play with the kids, donate to charity, sing carols at the top of your lungs and rock that fabulous holiday sweater. It only comes once a year, so make it count.
I hope you all have a blessed and beautiful, very Berry Christmas. XOXO