Happy Birthday, Mama Sandy

You know those people that just seem to ooze goodness? From the moment you first meet them, it's obvious that they are as close to perfection as a person can be. Kind, funny, compassionate, genuine, loving, strong, and beautiful inside and out. 
Several years ago, I was lucky enough to meet one of these angelic souls.Her name is Sandy, and I adored her instantly. She was the embodiment of warmth and decency. 
I have no idea why, but (I try not to question it) she seemed to like me as well. We hit it off, and became fast friends. It didn't matter that there was a substantial age difference, or that I was the polar opposite of her, or that I likely sport horns, when she clearly has a halo. She accepted me for who I am, and I am beyond grateful that she did. 
Unbeknownst to either of us, the bond we shared was eventually going to save my life. 
You see, Sandy lost a daughter years before. I learned this very soon after meeting her, and it became a pivotal conversation point for us quite often. She openly shared her story of loss, and was so patient with my countless questions about it. I'd known a few parents who'd lost children, but none who were so willing to talk about it, and wanted people to understand. She moved me. Her strength was an inspiration, and I was blown away by how she survived such a difficult ordeal, and was still so filled with love and humanity. 
I had no idea that those conversations would one day end up being my own personal guidebook through Grief. 
When we lost our son, my husband and I were utterly lost ourselves. The pain is so overwhelming that you can't imagine ever getting through it. 
So often during the first days, weeks, and months after losing Zach, I found myself quoting Sandy. Sharing with my husband things she had told me about her own Grief. I kept picturing her smiling face, and telling myself that we too, could survive this. 
Sandy saved our lives. Without her wisdom, we wouldn't be where we are in our Grief today. Many times, I have called or text her for guidance. I've turned to her to remind me that I'm not crazy, even when it feels like I am. 
She has been my rock. My biggest supporter, and my surrogate mother. 
I'll never be half the woman that Sandy is, but I strive for it nonetheless. 
Too often in this world we idolize celebrities, when there are real inspirations right in front of us. Sandy is my hero. In every sense of the word. 
And today, on her birthday, I want her to know that. Her friendship is a gift to me, and one that I will cherish forever. I love you Mama Sandy. Happy Birthday. 

Look at this stunning woman! She is the definition of grace, 

and one sexy hot mama to boot! 

Happy Birthday in Heaven...

Today would be our son's 20th birthday. The last birthday he celebrated here on Earth was his 18th. He's been gone for 16 months, as of today.
Birthday's are a BIG deal to me. Always have been. They are bigger than holidays or anniversaries. They are each individual's special day. A celebration of the moment in history that you were brought into the world. In that moment, countless lives were altered, paths changed, and a new timeline began. All because of one person's birth. I think we forget that sometimes. We view birthdays as a date on a calendar, or a number of years grown. We brush them off, forget them, or place little to no significance on them. But that day is special. It is the day a life began. And each year should be a celebration of the joy, love, kindness, and wonder that each life has brought. Some people are given many, many years. Others... so few. But regardless of how many you get, each one should be treated with reverence and celebration.
This year, I wanted to honor our son in a special way. I wanted his birthday to mean something. So I asked my loved ones to light a candle in his memory, and send a wish to Heaven.
I was not prepared for the incredible response. As I write this, it is only noon, and already my social media is lit up with candles, photos, angels, and messages of love. I'm overwhelmed. I haven't stopped crying since 6:30 this morning, and I don't see it ending anytime soon.
We knew our son touched many people, but I don't think you fully realize just how much impact one life can have, until that life is taken from you.
Today I want to send a message to Heaven. I want Zachary to know that we love him, and that he lives on in each person who saw his smile, heard his laugh, felt his touch, or knew his kindness. I want him to know that each year we will celebrate his life, and that he will NEVER be forgotten. I want him to know that his father and I are so proud of the life he lived, and so honored to have been blessed with him. I want him to know that his soul burns as brightly now as ever, and that he is still touching lives, and making the world a better place. I want him to know that we love him more than words could ever express, and that we carry him with us every single moment, and we do our best to honor his memory, and continue on where he left off.

Happy Birthday, Boy Child. May you fly among the stars on angel wings, and feel the warmth of a thousand flames burning brightly in your name.

These are just a few of the beautiful tributes to Zachary today...