Me! Me! Me! Temper tantrums, foot stomping, selfish mentalities seem to rule this world we live in. We are all so utterly self absorbed, that we often find it nearly impossible to see anyone else's point of view.
We've all but forgotten the Golden Rule that we were taught in grade school. The simple, yet elegant "Treat others as you wish to be treated." seems to be exceptionally complicated in this day and age. With the advent of social media, our thoughts and opinions on just about everything have become public. This means that instead of getting to know one another a bit before discovering our differences, we now can choose new friends based solely off of shared perspectives on hot button topics. This means we utterly surround ourselves with people who think just like we do. So when someone else shares a difference of opinion, it's like our entire world is ending. We have no idea how to deal with it. We revert to our inner toddlers and throw a hissy fit and storm off. "You're mean! I don't like you!"
No mature discussions, no compromising, and certainly no listening to logic. We're right and they're wrong. Period. End of story.
As children, we are taught that differences are what make us unique. Those characteristics that separate us from the flock, and make us stand out are good things. Who wants to be just like everyone else? I recall a saying that went something like "You can't have a beautiful melody if everyone is singing the same note." and even as a child, I understood the truth in that.
When we seek out partners, we tend to follow the 'opposites attract' mentality. Why? Because it challenges us to think, and to step outside of our comfort zones. It's exciting and mind opening. We learn new things, and we find parts of ourselves that we might never have known existed. That's how we grow.
So why is it that we can't channel this attitude into the rest of our lives? Why must we hate all things different and new to us?
We're so quick to say things like "Well, it's just not normal." but why? Who defines normality? If you prefer mayo over mustard that's not normal to me, but I would never suggest you change your ways to make me happy.
The notion that the whole world should think the way you do is ludicrous at best. And dangerous at its worst. You know who though that way? Hitler.
But here's the tricky part... No one is saying that you have to like everything or everyone. Agreeing is not the same as accepting. If your friend thinks blue is the best color ever, and you think yellow is, do you now hate them? No. You don't agree, but you accept their difference and move on. Why? Because it has zero effect on your life.
The same principles apply to religion, race, politics, sexual orientation, and more. The way one person (or a group of people) choose to live their life has no consequences on the way you live yours. Here's an example:
If the idea of same sex marriage bothers you, think of it like a sports team that you're not a fan of. Don't buy the t-shirt, and feel free to root for the other team. But don't waste your energy trying to convince the world that your favorite team is the only one that should be allowed to play. In the sport of love, we're all in it for the same reasons. Regardless of what team we're playing (or rooting) for.
The more we refuse to open our minds to differences, the more we are closing ourselves off to happiness. If you spend all your time pointing fingers and hating everyone, you have no time left for the things that bring you joy and peace.
A closed minded, self absorbed world isn't one that anyone wants to live in...
Remember the Golden Rule. Practice it.
Courtesy of the internet and social media, we live in an age where things begin "trending" and become hot button topics. AKA: We beat them like a dead horse. Recently, one of those topics has been feminism.
Personally, when I hear the word feminist, I picture unshaven ladies in the 70s, burning bras and hating on men. Now I realize that is not always the case, and that more often than not, a feminist is just a catchy word to describe someone who thinks that men and women should be equal. But there's still a perception among most people that puts feminists in a negative light. Maybe because historically, feminists tended to be more zealot types. Passionate fanatics who were so outspoken they made the average person feel uncomfortable. While those feminists still exist, nowadays the modern feminist is more subtle in their beliefs, and is more apt to blog about their feelings than paint signs and stand in front of government buildings.
So why is this post titled 'Why I'm not a Feminist' you ask? Plain and simply, because I'm not. I just don't identify with the word. Maybe because I grew up in an age where, for the most part, I felt equal to men. Sure, I know that I likely don't make the same pay, and that I will still often get passed by for a position for a lesser qualified man. But I can vote, my husband doesn't beat me and treat me like property, I can wear pants in public without getting side eyed, and I have just as much freedom as any male I know. Yes, I'm aware that when you get down to brass tacks, there are still issues related to female rights that need addressed. The notion that old men in the government still think that what I do with my body has or should have a damn thing to do with them is almost comical in its ridiculousness. But I don't see those issues as being about holding women back as much as they are about holding tight to some bizarre Christian ideals that people think will somehow keep our country on moral high ground. The arguments for things like anti abortion and anti birth control are more often than not centered around God and religious beliefs. This is mostly because the Bible was written during a time when women had no rights. We were merely property of our fathers or husbands. This antiquated system of thinking has been holding women back for centuries. But not just women. Humanity as a whole has been thwarted by misinterpreted quotes and ancient beliefs for as far back as we can remember. Anytime we wish to keep down a group of people, we can't wait to use the Bible as our sole basis of reasoning. It makes us feel justified in our actions because we somehow think we are doing what God would want. But enough about that... I could go on forever on my feelings on that issue.
Back to why I'm not a feminist.
So aside from basically feeling pretty equal, I also feel like it's selfish to think that women are the only group of people being held back. We live in a world that is still rife with racism, religious intolerance, ignorance and prejudice. While I agree that there is no excuse for why in 2015, women still make less than men to do the same job, I think that more importantly, it's inexcusable to treat ANYONE differently because of something as trivial as skin color, sexual orientation or genitals. I think that instead of being so proud to be a feminist, people should be proud to just be a human, with a soul, who believes that everyone should be treated equally. A female who fights for equal rights is no different from the LGBT, black, Muslim, or any other person or group who only wants the same thing.
So no, I'm not a feminist. Instead I'm going to start my own group. I'm going to be an equalist. I believe in equal rights for everyone. Now let's see if we can get that to start trending...
Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. For many of you, that is a day off of work or school. But is that all it is to you? It should be so much more....
Martin Luther King Jr. was a man who believed in the power of faith, and kindness. He truly believed that people could work together for the betterment of mankind. Not as blacks, whites, etc, but as BROTHERS AND SISTERS. As humans. He fought for what he believed in, and made incredible strides in the battle for equal rights.
Among his MANY accomplishments as a pastor, humanitarian, civil rights leader, and activist, he received a Nobel Peace Prize in 1964, and was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and the Congressional Gold Medal.
His "I Have A Dream" speech during the 1963 March on Washington, will forever be known as one of the most moving, passionate, and well delivered verbalizations in history. He is easily one of the greatest speakers ever to have lived. When Martin Luther King Jr. spoke, the world listened. The power, and emotion in his words is felt to this day. I have listened to his "I Have A Dream" speech countless times, and each time, I am moved to tears. His simple wish that one day his four children "would live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character" is something that countless people still wish and hope for. Yes, we have made great strides, but we still have far to go.
Today, let's take a moment and honor this great man, and his legacy, and be kind to one another. Talk to your children about hate, and about judgment. Teach them the value of character, and that beauty is internal, not external. Share with them the history of this nation, and the dangers of closed-mindedness. Show them how to move forward, and love their fellow man.
In the words of MLK Jr. himself:
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
Wise words, from a very wise man...
His notion of equality for all is still very much a hot topic, and applies for more than just race. We can channel his wisdom, and compassion into all areas of inequality. Regardless of what you look like on the outside, what you believe in, and who you love, we are all one nation. We all bleed red, and we all have souls, and breakable hearts. Peace and love are not just an inane idea, but a way of life. Choose to act better, do better, and you will BE better. Change your attitude, and your perspective, and your world WILL change. Just some food for thought...
