Grow Up...

People often mistake age with maturity, and that is far from accurate. I've known MANY people well past the age of adulthood who still act like children. And this is coming from a chick who dresses up gnomes & dinosaurs and builds blanket forts on a regular basis. I may do some childish things at times (ok, a lot of times) but I also know how to be a grown up. Don't let the LEGOS and tea sets fool you, I am first and foremost an adult. So what does "Being a grown up." mean? Well here's what it means to me:

It means taking responsibility for your actions. As a child, you want to make excuses, and blame everyone else for what happens to you, but as an adult, you should know better. You may not be able to control everything that happens to you, but you certainly can control how you react to it. As an adult, you understand that your actions have consequences. Will you still make mistakes? Of course! But you will own them, and learn from them. It means when you make poor decisions, you have no one to blame but yourself, and it is your responsibility to make the necessary changes needed to move forward. As an adult, you understand that the world doesn't owe you anything, and if you want something, you better be willing to work for it.

It means not letting money burn a hole in your pocket. Children get money, and can't wait to spend it. Adults think carefully about budgets, the future, and needs vs. wants. You may want a new gadget, but do you really need it? And sure, sometimes casual spending is fine. After all, you can't take it with you. But if you can't pay your rent, bills, etc, than you certainly don't need new $100 shoes, or a $50 toy. Adults often go without things they want in the moment, because they know there are things they NEED now.

It means taking care of your property, and respecting the property of others. If you are an adult with a filthy house, a trashed car, and ruined gadgets, you need to grow up. Cleaning up after yourself, and being careful with expensive items is basic maturity. Adults know that money doesn't grow on trees, and how many hours they had to work to pay for something, so they take care of what they have. Adults want to live in a clean/healthy environment, so they put things away after they use them, make their beds, and clean their dishes.

It means knowing how to say no. And doing it. This is a hard one for many people, even adults, so here is my advice. Start small. Try saying no to a co-worker when they ask to switch shifts, or to a fellow mom when she asks if you can watch her kid for another hour. And don't offer an excuse. Just say no. Then you can move on to bigger things, like saying no to plans that you really don't want to do, or when that relative wants to stay with you for a week. But saying no really is a big part of being a grown up. There will be many times in your life when you will need to be able to maturely decline something.

It means making sacrifices and doing things for others. Children don't like to share toys, or do things that aren't "fun", but adults often have to. Compromise is a big part of being a mature adult. You will need to do this at work, in relationships, and with children. Adults understand that we can't always get or do exactly what we want, and that sometimes the needs of others must come before our own. Tough decisions are just part of the grown up territory.

It means you may not be the last to leave the party anymore. Sure, adults can still have a good time, and maybe even have TOO good of a time. But more often than not, you will have other obligations to think about (kids, jobs, etc) that will force you to keep your head (at least partially) in the game, and send you home still fully clothed, and before the after party.

It means understanding that there really is a time and place for everything. Listen, I'm an adult, and I like sex just as much as (if not more than) the next guy. But I also know that watching porn on my work computer is probably not the best idea. Being an adult means having people take you seriously. If you walk around bragging about how drunk or high you were last night, while at church/the office/your mom's birthday party, odds are, you have some growing up to do. Tact and decorum are signs of maturity.

Now before anyone gets all bent out of shape and butt hurt about this, remember... these are just my opinions. If you live in utter filth, drink til you puke every night, get busted having sex in the office supply room, and still go to work every day, pay your bills, support your kids, are in a healthy relationship, AND show up on time, clean and well dressed for your grandparents anniversary party... Mad props. You obviously have the secret to life figured out, and we should all worship you and your infinite wisdom.

My Inner Child

I'm going to just go ahead and say what we all think. Growing up sucks. Yeah, there's a few perks, like being able to drink & have sex, but those things are fun. But jobs, bills, responsibilities, stress and life in general, has a way of sucking the joy out of things. As a child, life was filled with happiness. It was everywhere you looked. From an empty box that could be anything from a robot to a rocket ship, to your backyard, which at any moment could be transformed into a magical fairyland or deep dark woods filled with evil goblins. Life was what you made it. Anything your mind could conjure up became your reality. At least until Mom called you in for dinner. 

The same just isn't true as an adult. You can't turn your stuffy cubicle into a pirate ship and shoot rubber band cannons at your enemy. Well, you could, but I doubt it would go over so well. When your spouse or your kids are stressing you out, you can't go hide in your fort and escape into a book. They'll just follow you. So what do you do? How do you keep your sanity in a world that does its best to make you crazy? 

Well, some folks do drugs. Some drink. Some spend entirely too much time on internet porn. I'm not judging. To each their own, I say. But I have taken a different route. I've opted to stay in touch with my inner child. 

Do you ever notice how when playing with kids, it's so easy to get absorbed into their activities? How quick to laugh, and be silly we are when surrounded by the innocence and joy of children? It's because we are connecting with our inner child during that time. 

Personally, I have a great relationship with my inner child. I'm not afraid to bring her out from time to time and escape from the all too real realities that are my life. Some people see my gnome collection or the silly pics I take of them and think "She's so weird." Yup. I am. But you know what? It makes me laugh. And if it brings a smile, or a laugh to one other person, even better. I still play with Legos. I wear a tiara when I clean my house. I have stuffed animals as throw pillows on my sofa. And sometimes, when life gets a bit out of control, I build a fort, hide in it and color. Does this make me insane? Who knows. I like to think I'm relatively sane. But if I'm not, oh well. I suppose it could always be worse. 

As a child, I had an imaginary friend, and while some people think that is the sign of a creative mind, others think it is a sign that you  might need therapy. It could go either way. I like to think of myself as a creative individual, but I'm sure a therapist would have a field day with me, as well. I'm not perfect. (Big shock, right?) But I have no desire to be. Where's the fun in being perfect? What could be considered flaws to one person may be charming quirks to another. I am who I am, and I make no apologies. 

So is being in touch with your inner child such a crazy thing? Is it so mad to want to reconnect with a part of yourself that was innocent and carefree? A part that found happiness in the simple things. A part that dealt with the disappointments in life with a snack and a brightly colored Band-Aid. A part that started each day with a smile and enough energy to take on the world. A part that knew the only difference between the bathtub and Atlantis was a matter of perspective. Call me crazy, but I think life is hard enough without having to grow old and cynical too. So, I'm sticking with my inner child. She has a great sense of adventure, and throws a mean tea party, too.