I miss warm weather. It's no secret that I'm not a fan of winter in the least. But come February/March, I start feeling near violent in my hatred of this dreaded season. Enough is enough already. And this year has been especially brutal and harsh, so I am BEYOND ready for it to end.
Needless to say, Spring Fever has hit me hard. I'm fantasizing about all the things I've been missing since Jack Frost stopped by for his most unwelcome and extended stay. Here are just a few of the things I miss...
1. Being warm. Seriously, I don't think I've been truly warm in what feels like forever. I'm either chilly, or flat out shivering. Fake warmth just doesn't cut it. I need sun, and I need it now.
2. My feet. I know they exist, because I see them when I shower, but the rest of the time, they are trapped in their cotton prison. I swear I hear them crying...
3. Pretty dresses/clothes. I hate winter attire. Loathe it. In theory (and on TV) you can wear cute cold weather gear, but in reality, we all know that those cute, heeled boots are just asking for a broken ankle. And those tights will only keep you warm enough if you are spending your day in front of a cozy fire, with a hot toddy.
4. Casually walking from car to door. I don't know about you, but I move a lot quicker when it's ass cold outside. I don't leisurely stroll, enjoying the sights. I grab my shit, and damn near run to the next source of heat. Sorry mailman, no time to chat. Talk to you in a few months!
5. Outdoor activities. Camping, walking, playing with my nieces and nephews, etc. Any excuse just to be outside. The feel of grass between my bare feet, sipping on a cold beer, face to the sky.
6. A tan. I'm pale. And I don't mean cute, china doll pale. I mean glow in the dark, you could see my white ass from space, pale. And cosmetics, for all their wondrous magic, can never compete with the rosy glow from good old Mr. Sunshine.
7. Cute shoes. Try as I might (and I have tried) I cannot find winter shoes that even come close to being as fun, funky, and cute as my warm weather ones. There's just something about a strappy wedged sandal that makes any outfit better.
8. Windows down in the car. This is hands down, one of life's simplest pleasures. Windows down, moon roof open, music cranked, cruising along in your car. Even the drive to work is better when you can enjoy it this way.
9. Color. Winter is just so.... white. I don't do white. White is depressing, and sterile. I need color in my life. Greens, reds, oranges, blues, pinks, all of it! It's hard to be sad when you are surrounded by beautiful color.
10. The smells. Lilacs, bonfires, BBQs, race gas, fresh cut grass, and on and on. The fragrances of life, and happiness. The scents that make you close your eyes and inhale deeply just for the pure pleasure of it.
This list could be endless. Winter just can't compare to any other season, yet it seems to always be the longest. Maybe this is so we can truly appreciate the other three. Or maybe Mother Nature just has a twisted sense of humor, and an extra long menstrual cycle come December. Whatever the reason, I am just ready for it to be over. Before my Spring Fever starts causing hallucinations, and I run naked into the snow, thinking it's a field of daisies...
Here in Michigan, we love to bitch about the weather. Too hot, too cold. Too wet, too dry. Etc, etc, etc. But that is the problem with living in a state with four seasons. You are bound to not like at least one of them. For me, that one is winter. I loathe it. If I could crawl into a hole and sleep through it, like a bear, I would. There is simply nothing about winter that I enjoy. Yeah, yeah, it can be pretty, sure. But after 30+ years, I am no longer in awe of the beauty.
I don't participate in winter sports, nor do I have a desire to do so. Winter clothing makes me claustrophobic, there's just too many damn layers. Being cold makes me angry. Once I get too cold, it is near impossible to get warm again, and it brings out the worst in me. And above all else, it is just annoying. It makes simple things so much more work. Just running to get milk becomes a chore. Put on 10 lbs. of attire, shovel & salt a path to your car, scrape and defrost your car, slip and slide down the road (OK, maybe that part IS fun...) and repeat. UGH! I'd rather pour water on my cereal and stay home.
For the most part, I make it through November, December and January with minimal complaint. Come February though, I start getting antsy. By March, I reach full winter bitch mode and I am 200% over it. The endless cold and dreary grayness has created a monster. I get short fused, depressed and start going stir crazy. I NEED sunshine. I need fresh air and the smell of fresh cut grass. I start looking at my sundresses and sandals like a teenage boy looks at porn. With desire and anticipation. My freakishly white reflection in the mirror taunts me. I have full blown spring fever.
It is a serious condition. If you are from Michigan, or another four seasons place, chances are you've had it. You start wanting to tear apart your home. Open windows, paint walls, buy new furniture, organize the attic & garage, etc. You want to get outside and wash your car, fire up the bbq, plant your garden and feel the grass between your toes. You want to toss all your coats, gloves, scarves and boots into a pile and light them on fire, whilst roasting marshmallows over their ashes. (What? Ok, maybe that last one is just me.) Either way, you get the point. Spring fever takes ahold of you and you just can't shake it. The only cure is blue skies and the feel of sunshine on your bare skin. And it can't happen soon enough. We know it is close. We can smell it in the air, hear it in the sounds of birdsong, see it in the buds on trees and feel it in our souls. But the days and weeks until it is truly here are the longest in eternity. Mother Nature loves to taunt us with a nice day or two to get our spirits up and then slam us with a reminder that it's still winter and that she hates us. Media is no help either. The ads for spring/summer clothing are everywhere, rubbing salt in the wound. There's no escaping it. We just have to ride it out. And bitch about it the entire time, of course. So for those of you stricken with spring fever, I feel your pain. I too, daydream of bare feet and cold drinks. But we must stick together and be patient. We know that Michigan winters are long and tedious. That is why our state is shaped like a mitten. To remind us of that. But spring WILL come. And it will be glorious. And when it does, look out... and have your sunglasses ready, for my glowing white skin should not be looked upon with unprotected eyes.
