The Beauty of Rain...

Rain... It really gets a bad rap. 
Ruins parades, brings sporting events to an abrupt halt, floods landscapes, and generally makes for a yucky day.
But does it? Personally, I rather like rain. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to start building an ark, but from time to time, rain is nice.
Is there really anything more peaceful than snuggling under the covers on a rainy night? Or a day spent with a good book, and the sound of rain on your roof? There was nothing better as a child than playing in the rain, splashing in puddles, and making mud pies. And to be honest, I still enjoy playing in puddles. But now I like to do it in my car.
Rain can be annoying, sure. Just ask any bride who's dealt with rain on her wedding day. (Even though it is considered good luck.) And who hasn't cursed the rain gods when an unexpected downpour leaves you looking like a drowned rat?
But without rain, we wouldn't have flowers, grass, and plants. Life as a whole would cease to exist. Rain fills our lakes and rivers that we love to spend hot summer days playing in. Rain feeds the gardens that we eat from. Rain washes away the dust and dirt from our homes and gives all the wild critters a bath. It allows us the opportunity to use our brightly colored umbrellas and galoshes. It gives us down time to stop, relax, and take a break from the fast paced lives we tend to lead. Rainy days stuck indoors created some of my favorite memories as a kid, and with my own family as an adult.
Rain is cleansing. To the earth, and to the soul.
You don't have to wait for the rainbow to appreciate the beauty of rain...

     "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Boobs vs. Balls

Women are generally considered the weaker sex. But whatever man decided that, was obviously an idiot.
As I sit here, I am currently being repeatedly punched in my ovaries by Mother Nature. Yup. Once a month, that bitch decides that women need a week to ten days to really hate themselves. I'll spare you the gory details, but let's just say The Red Curse is no one's friend. We get bloated, so nothing we own fits right. Add to that the fact that our hormones are currently waging a war with our brains & bodies, so we can't decide if we are sad, happy, horny, hungry, or angry. Oh, and did I mention the body aches, cramps, migraines, back pain, fatigue, and general unpleasantness of it all?
But a man gets the sniffles and you'd think it's the plague. We suffer all of this once a month, and don't even take a sick day. Weaker sex, my ass...
And while I personally have not carried a child and pushed it out of my nether bits, I think it's safe to say that it isn't 9 months of vacation followed by a vaginal massage.
Tell me again how annoying it is to have your balls stick to your leg when it's hot.
And while I am a big fan of the boobies, they aren't exactly easy to live with either. First of all, there's no winning when it comes to size. Too small, too big.... they both have their pros and cons. To be fair, I'm sure these same issues come into play when it comes to penises as well. But at least that is hidden in your pants, so you aren't being judged on it every single time you meet someone. There are only so many ways to hide breasts, and even in a turtleneck you can tell if she's rocking an A cup, or some DDs.
And if you do have some biggems, I hope you like sleeping on your back. Because unless you have holes in your mattress, sleeping on your stomach hasn't been an option since 9th grade. And if you think your back hurts after a long day, try hanging ten pound weights off your shoulders and see how it feels. Wanna go for a jog? Sure! Just let me zip tie these bad boys down and I'll be right with ya!
So maybe your average female can't bench press a Buick, and the occasional jar of pickles gives us a run for our money, but I certainly don't think we are weak.
You fellas may have balls of steel, but we have boobs of steel too, and don't you forget it.

A Grieving Mother's Day

This weekend is Mother's Day. It will be the second one since losing my only child. I dread it. For weeks prior, I'm bombarded with touching and emotional ads, stories, and more about moms on the radio, internet, and television. I'd have to lock myself in a cave to avoid it. And while that sounds like a pretty great idea at the moment, it's not logical, or possible.
Mother's Day was always special for me, and not because of the gifts, or special attention. It was the one day a year, that my son made sure I knew how much I meant to him. The one day that I didn't doubt my motherhood status. It's not an easy job being a step mother. Anyone who has ever seen a Disney movie knows that it is often portrayed as an evil and wretched role. That was my biggest fear. Children love their parents without question. But a stepparent's love has to be earned. There are no guarantees. I loved my son instantly, and there was an undeniable bond between us from the start. But that bond had to be nurtured, and cultivated, in order to grow into something more. I never doubted my son's love for me. He was wonderful about that. But I always doubted whether or not I was a good mom to him. That I gave him everything he needed in that role. On Mother's Day, he always had a special way of letting me know that my doubts and fears were unnecessary. And the older he got, the more profound and meaningful they were. That was his gift to me. The assurance that I was a good mom. That I was HIS mom.
After you lose a child, people will tell you that you're still a mom. That you'll always be a mother. But for those of us who lose our only child, it certainly doesn't always feel that way. Sure, we still have motherly instincts, maternal feelings, and unconditional love. But we no longer have an outlet for them. There are no more booboos to kiss, no more words of wisdom to impart, no more proud moments to witness. It's like someone set a timer on my motherhood, and the countdown has ended. When people around you talk about being a parent, they often treat you as though you have no knowledge or experience on the subject. Maybe it's because they forget that you do, or maybe it's just easier than bringing up your child. Whatever the reasons, it is extremely painful. We raised a smart, independent, funny, warm, caring, hardworking, helpful, wonderful child. We watched him grow into an amazing young man. Please don't deny me that.
This Mother's Day, while some will wake up to breakfast in bed, I will wake up from the nightmares that plague my sleep, of my final moments with my son. While women everywhere are being treated to affection and gratitude, my arms will be empty, and my heart still broken. This is a Grieving Mother's Day...

                                         Precious memories and moments with my son...

A Week Of Appreciation

This week is Teacher AND Nurses Appreciation week. Two jobs that are often very under appreciated.

Teachers play so many roles; mentor, leader, nursemaid, instructor, chef, and much, much more. Often for very little pay. Their work hours don't end when your child goes home. They spend a great deal of their own time and money to help give your children the best education and head start in life that they can. These men and women are often the biggest and most constant influence in a child's life, after their parents. That is a role that they take very seriously. And we should too.

Nurses are another often overlooked group. And much like teachers, they too wear many hats. From holding your hand in comfort, distracting you from the pain, sharing in your sorrow, to sponge bathing you and more. They are life savers, and care givers. A good nurse will treat you with kindness and compassion, and sometimes those are the strongest kinds of medicine you can receive. They work long hours, and sacrifice time with their loved ones to do a very difficult job.

While no one goes into either of these jobs looking for a constant pat on the back, we all know how good it can feel to be appreciated. So if you have children in school, or have a nurse in your life, take a moment and say thank you to these special people. Let them know you notice what they do, and that it matters. I promise you, it WILL make a difference to them.
And if you want to go that extra mile, here are some suggestions for gift ideas:

Teachers
1. Gift cards (and not just for coffee and books)
2. Classroom supplies
3. Donations to the school, or offers to volunteer
4. Gift certificates for things like massages, manicures, facials, etc.
5. Unique/Custom gift baskets
*Go easy on the #1 Teacher items. While I'm sure they appreciate the thought, they have hundreds of students, and really... how many mugs does one person really need?

Nurses
1. Gift cards
2. Gift certificates for things like massages, manicures, pedicures, facials, etc.
3. Gift baskets with healthy snacks, books, magazines, etc.
4. Donations to charity
5. Nice bottle of wine (if you know them & know they drink)
*Avoid the trite "Nurses are Angels" type gifts. While it IS the thought that counts, often times that thought is just one more thing they have to dust.

Putting Your Best Foot Forward

Ok people, I know I talk a lot of shit about sweat pants, yoga pants, and generally sloppy appearances. But (surprisingly) I am not trying to be mean or hurt people's feelings. The fact of the matter is... You shouldn't WANT to look like that. Regardless of what I think. I've heard every excuse in the book, and here's what it boils down to:
You should ALWAYS put your best foot forward. Period. It's not about impressing anyone else, it's about impressing yourself. When you look sloppy, you feel sloppy. And that is the attitude that you are presenting to the world. And the world will treat you only as well as you treat yourself. So if you go around looking a mess, they will assume you are a mess, and treat you accordingly. Putting on a little make-up, styling your hair, and putting 30 seconds of thought into what you put on your body isn't about being prissy, or high maintenance. It's about taking pride in your appearance, and the image and attitude that you project to the world. If you want to be taken seriously, than you need to look the part. I hear so many women complain about their bodies, their looks, and how people perceive and/or treat them. Many of these same women go around looking like they just stepped out of a dumpster. OF COURSE you are going to feel bad about yourself when you see that in the mirror! It is a proven fact that when you look good, you feel good. Even if it is just a mental illusion, we still FEEL better when we look our best. So why wouldn't you want to do that every day? Do we really need a special occasion to put on something nice, and take a little time with our appearance? Each time you walk out the door, you are making an impression on those around you. Does it matter what they think? In some ways, it does. What kind of example are you setting for your children? What kind of first impression are you making on those you meet? Here is a perfect example:
About a week ago, I was out running errands after work. I was dressed in one of my vintage inspired dresses, nothing fancy. I was stopped and complimented not once, but several times. Men, women, and even one adorable little girl, told me how nice I looked. I received countless smiles, and friendly conversation from many people. It was the nicest ego boost ever. And one I really needed. I came home with a smile, and a total mood change. Would that have happened if I had been out with dirty yoga pants and a grubby t-shirt? Somehow I doubt it. And the difference it made in my attitude was immense. My head was suddenly held higher, and my smile was genuine and long lasting. It was a chain reaction. The kindness I received made me feel better, and I put out a better, happier energy into the world around me, which I got back time and again in smiles and continued kindness.
The point is.... If you look better, you feel better. You have more confidence, and that leads to a change in how you view and participate in the world around you. You know when you watch makeover shows, and the people see themselves after for the first time? That moment of sheer joy, and amazement? That could be you everyday. It doesn't have to cost a lot, or anything at all, and it takes only a little extra time. It could be as simple as a haircut and a little lip gloss.
You know what I do when I wake up feeling cranky and depressed? I put on something extra cute and colorful. I spend a little more time on my hair and make-up, and I trick myself into feeling just that much better.
We are all going to have days where the idea of putting on pants or taking a shower is just out of the question. We're only human after all. But if that is the majority of your days... you may be causing the problem yourself, or at the very least not helping it. You can't control everything, but why not make the best of the things that you can?
First impressions are everything, and each day when you look into the mirror, you are making a first impression on yourself. Do you like what you see?

Berry Best Books, List 3: Guilty Pleasures

I am always reading something, and while I'd like to say that most of the time I am reading literary marvels, in reality, 90% of the time I am reading purely for entertainment. Some people watch trashy TV, but I like to bury my face in a book. I want to get lost in outlandish characters, and far fetched storylines. So here it is... My Guilty Pleasures reading list. I make no apologies for these gems, they are all well written, and highly enjoyable.

1. The Driver by: Alexander Roy
2. I Am Dracula by: C. Dean Andersson
3. The Dark Hunter Series by: Sherrilyn Kenyon
4. The League Series by: Sherrilyn Kenyon
5. The Hunger Games Trilogy by: Suzanne Collins
6. The Black Dagger Brotherhood Series by: J.R. Ward
7. Incarceron by: Catherine Fisher
8. Sapphique by: Catherine Fisher
9. Alice in Zombieland  (The White Rabbit Chronicles) by: Gena Showalter
10. The Vampire Chronicles by: Anne Rice
11. Southern Vampire Mysteries (series) by: Charlaine Harris
12. The DaVinci Code by: Dan Brown
13. Angels & Demons by: Dan Brown
14. Digital Fortress by: Dan Brown
15. Wicked by: Gregory Maguire
16. Son of a Witch by: Gregory Maguire
17. My Horizontal Life by: Chelsea Handler
18. Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea. by: Chelsea Handler
19. Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by: Chelsea Handler
20. The Plum Series by: Janet Evanovich
21. The Wicked Series by: Janet Evanovich
22. Just One Look by: Harlan Coben
23. Fallen Series by: Lauren Kate
24. Lord of the Rings Trilogy by: J.R.R Tolkien
25. The Mortal Instruments by: Cassandra Clare
26. Lords of the Underworld Series by: Gena Showalter
27. House of Night Series by: P.C. & Kristin Cast
28. Divine Series by: P.C. Cast

I could go on and on and on, but these are a few off the top of my head. I may have to include a follow up list to this at some point, but if you are looking for something to zone out and just enjoy, laugh, etc. these are all great choices.

Berry Best Books, List 2: Children's Classics

Because I am a firm believer in the endless benefits of reading to children, and teaching them a love of reading from their earliest moments, today's list is Children's Classics. These are stories that appeal to the young, and young at heart. Filled with whimsy, adventure, magic, and wonder, these are books that teach a child that anything is possible, and to dare to dream. They will trigger their imaginations, and open up new worlds for them. They will teach them about love, understanding, compassion, kindness, and more. Some are old favorites, some new treasures, but all worth having in your child's library. This is also a great list to turn to when you need a book for a baby shower gift, or for the new reader in your life.

So here is a list of 33 Children's Classics. Enjoy! And as always, I am open to hearing your favorites as well. Please feel free to comment with ones you think I've missed.

1. A Light In the Attic by: Shel Silverstein
2. Where the Sidewalk Ends by: Shel Silverstein
3. The Monster at the End of This Book by: Jon Stone
4. Goodnight Moon by: Margaret Wise Brown
5. Love You Forever by: Robert Munsch
6. The Complete Tales of Peter Rabbit by: Beatrix Potter
7. I Love You Through and Through by: Bernadette Rossetti-Shustak
8. The Complete Grimms Fairy Tales by: Jacob Grimm
9. Curious George by: H.A. Rey
10. Frog and Toad Are Friends by: Arnold Lobel
11. Where the Wild Things Are by: Maurice Sendak
12. The Poky Little Puppy by: Janette Sebring Lowrey
13. Mother Goose Rhymes
14. The Little Engine That Could by: Watty Piper
15. Oh, The Places You'll Go! by: Dr. Suess
16. Guess How Much I Love You by: Sam McBratney
17. You Are My I Love You by: Maryann Cusimano
18. Wherever You Are, My Love Will Find You by: Nancy Tillman
19. Ramona Forever by: Beverly Cleary
20. The Chronicles of Narnia by: C.S. Lewis
21. The Secret Garden by: Frances Hodgson Burnett
22. Indian In The Cupboard by: Lynne Reid Banks
23. A Wrinkle In Time by: Madeleine L'Engle
24. Because of Winn-Dixie by: Kate DiCamillo
25. Bridge To Terabithia by: Katherine Paterson
26. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland by: Lewis Carroll
27. Charlotte's Web by: E.B. White
28. The Giver by: Lois Lowry
29. The Hobbit by: J.R.R. Tolkien
30. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by: Mark Twain
31. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by: Mark Twain
32. The Watsons Go To Birmingham - 1963 by: Christopher Paul Curtis
33. The Sword in the Stone by: T.H. White