Mysteries of Life

Do you ever wonder why an Easter egg is so much better than a regular hard boiled egg? Or why crayons don't come organized by color? These are just some of the things I think about sometimes. I consider them life's little mysteries. Sure, there are real mysteries out there. Like what really happened to Jimmy Hoffa, and what's the deal with the Bermuda Triangle, and they are fascinating as well. But how often in your daily life do you pause and say to yourself "Hmm... What is with all the sunken ships in Lake Superior?" Probably not often.
The real mysteries of life are the weird, wacky and just plain random things we encounter everyday and have no definitive answer for. Oh sure, some people will try and be all smart and make something up, but we know that those are just opinions and not facts, and that those people are morons. We know that when we ask "Why do old people hate loud music, but need to turn Wheel of Fortune up to the highest volume possible?" we aren't really looking for an answer, we are just stating an odd curiousity. We are the Alices of the world. We see a white rabbit in a suit and wonder where he's headed in such a hurry, where others would wonder why is a rabbit wearing a suit. Curiouser and Curiouser is our motto, we mystery lovers. We may seem (mostly) normal on the outside, but inside these heads is a different story. While you are enjoying a nice snack, we are wondering why you are biting into your string cheese like it's a bat at an Ozzy concert. (Seriously, it's called string cheese because you are supposed to peel it into strings.) While you are sitting at your desk, busy with work, we are staring at our pencil wondering who decided that such a tiny eraser would be sufficient enough. We weren't the kids who asked why the sky was blue, or why grass is green, we just wondered why grass couldn't be hot pink, or the sky neon yellow with puffy orange clouds. We were the kids in school who wondered why it's called math if there are letters involved, and if X = 5, then why not just put the 5 there and save everyone all this time. We are the adults who wonder how someone who clearly has less brains than a pet rock ever got elected into office. Twice. The ones who question how a show like 'Jersey Shore' can make it on TV and millions of kids watch it, but the idea of teaching safe sex in schools is considered an outrage.
Life is filled with little mysteries like these, and it's probably best that there are no solid answers, because we probably wouldn't like them anyway. I think it's better I'm left wondering why hot dogs taste so good when I know that they are literally made with ass...