Emotions vs. Emoticons

I often find myself ending a text, email or facebook post with an emoticon. A symbol that represents a smile, a frown, a confused look, etc. But what am I really trying to convey? The answer is an emotion. Words can evoke emotion, but they cannot always accurately express them, so we use combinations of symbols to share our moods and feelings. But does a colon and a bracket really give you the same satisfaction as a genuine smile? Maybe it does.
If you are having a bad day and you get a text from a friend or loved one that says "Thinking of u :)" does it make you feel better? Does it give you the same emotional response that hearing those same words and seeing that person smile would? In some cases, I think it does. I know that when I am having a crappy day and I see a funny pic or read a funny post on facebook, that makes me LOL, it does help improve my mood. Maybe not the same way as a face to face conversation and sharing laughter does, but it still helps. Do reading the words "I love you" in an email or text give you the same warmth as hearing them and looking into the eyes of the speaker? Probably not. But does that mean we shouldn't still text it? Not at all. In some cases, the written word may be all we have to communicate by, and any expression of love and friendship is better than none at all.
The problem arises when emoticons replace real emotions. When we forget what our loved ones smiles and frowns really look like because we no longer see them. It's easy to take a second to send a text, or even comprise an email, or to post on someones wall/timeline. But the real stuff comes from sacrificing our time and responsibilities to make that effort in person. To plan a date, or a visit. To sit down and have a real conversation with someone and see the emotions play out in their faces. To hear their laughter, not just read about it. It's during these interactions that real emotion is felt and created. I'm not saying we should drop everything and go visit everyone we know or love, that isn't logical. But it is possible to make real time for people, we just have to accept that it will require more from us than just a few moments of our time. It might mean leaving work a little early, or not watching that TV show you like. But if you get pleasure from a text, imagine how much you would get from a real touch, or hug or smile. It's priceless.
Technology has made our lives so much easier and it has opened up so many new forms of communication and possibilities for relationships. Just a few short years ago, I wouldn't have been in contact with even 1/3 of the people I am now. I love meeting new people and reconnecting with old friends. I love that I can have a completely random chat in the middle of the day with a friend about absolutely nothing. Technology makes these things possible and I am eternally grateful. I always have my phone with me and I rarely go a day without checking my facebook or email. I love the new worlds that these things have opened up for me. They bring me immense pleasure & I do not foresee a future without these things in my life.
That being said, my greatest pleasures in life, my fondest memories, the things I will someday tell my grandchildren about, these things are the real, physical moments. I may show someone a pic of my new baby niece, but I could never express the true joy I get from holding her in my arms and smelling her sweet scent. I may smile as I hang up the phone after a nice chat with a friend, but that smile will never be as big and heartfelt as the one I get from seeing & hugging that person in real life. To hear my son tell me about the new girl he met isn't the same as seeing the look in his eyes as he describes her to me. To read a text from my husband that says "Miss u c u soon" gives me a nice feeling, but it cannot compare to the feeling of seeing him walk through the door and pull me into his arms.
Emoticons are fun, and a great way to show someone you are just teasing, or to add a touch of a flirt, but they are no substitute for emotions. At the end of the day, it is the real smiles or frowns or winks that have the most impact. A sad face at the end of an I'm sorry text can never compare to a genuine tear filled apology.
It may be the thought that counts, but it is the real thing that really adds up. So the next time you are texing a friend, or chatting on facebook, try and make time to get together. Meet for a quick lunch, or have a girls night. Whatever you do, remember that as much as we love our technology, it is not a replacement for real life. So hug your friends, smile at strangers and make time for those face to face conversations, because those are the moments that we truly connect to others, and those are the things that we will remember. People rarely lie in bed at night and fall asleep to the vision of a semi colon and a bracket in their heads...