Back To Work

Starting Monday, I will officially be back in the working world. I have been off for some time now. I had been looking for a job for awhile before my son's accident. I was called back and offered a great position on the day of his funeral. I wanted to take it. I agreed to take it. But I just couldn't do it. I had to call them and turn it down. After months of looking for the right job, it was an awful feeling to have to say no. But I wasn't anywhere in the right frame of mind to start a new job. Luckily, I have an AMAZING hubs, who supports me in every way, and thanks to him, I've been able to stay home for this long. 
But then, just recently, a job landed in my lap. It was a friend of a friend situation, and I only intended on meeting with the woman, and hearing her out. But, as it turns out, it was too perfect to say no. The owners are incredible people, and so understanding and kind. 
I still have concerns, of course, but I think this is the right decision. 
It's a little scary to get back into the "real world" after losing my son. For the past 10 months, I have barricaded myself in a little bubble of safety. I've avoided meeting new people, so that I don't have to answer the dreaded "Do you have kids?" type questions. I've gotten comfortable in knowing that IF I am struggling with getting out of bed, or getting dressed, it's ok. I've created my own sanctuary, where I can cry alone, and scream in anger and frustration, without bothering others. 
But I'm getting TOO comfortable here. It's time to rejoin the world. It's time to face my new normal, and test my limits. It's time to shake loose the cobwebs from my grief fogged brain and try again. It's scary and exciting at the same time. 
I'm scared I won't be strong enough, and that I'll fail. But I'm excited to learn new things, and challenge myself. I'll probably make (many) mistakes along the way, but my new bosses are unbelievably supportive, and don't have unreasonable expectations. That is a HUGE comfort. 
So... after a few short training days, and a basic game plan... On Monday, I head off on my own. Literally. I will be in a building all by myself, though my bosses are just a phone call away. But I will be responsible for setting my own pace, and staying on task. I've always been self motivated, so that won't be a problem, but it is a new experience for me, none the less. But I look forward to it. It's a new adventure. Come Monday morning, I'm sure I will be a giant ball of nerves, but right now I am at peace. I believe in my heart that this is exactly where I am supposed to be right now, and I am so grateful to Jim and Julie at Kallas Heating & Cooling [check them out here] for giving me this opportunity, and for being so great. 
So Berry Friends, wish me luck, and if you're ever in Durand, MI stop by and say hello.