If Life Was Like The Movies....

Have you ever watched a movie with one of those people who feel compelled to critique each and every thing? You know the ones, they'll tell you how impossible that stunt is, or why medically, someone couldn't really survive that kind of an injury, blah blah blah. My hubs likes to comment on all car scenes. "That's not what that motor sounds like." or "Pssh... yeah, that would totally blow up like that for no reason." and so on and so forth. The point is, who cares? I don't. Movies are meant to entertain. They aren't real life. We KNOW this. Yet, we still want to get all salty when something is "unrealistic".
Well not me. I am fully aware that life is not like the movies. BUT... that's not to say that I wouldn't like it if some things WERE like the movies. Here's why:

*Car chases and lots of them. I mean c'mon... who hasn't wanted to be in a sick car chase? Driving backwards on the highway, dodging police cars, jumping shit. Yeah.. I'll take that.
*The good guys always win. In real life, we know this isn't always the case, but in the movies, 98% of the time it is.
*No closing doors, turning off and on lights, etc. Seriously... who pays the utility bills for these folks? Have you EVER seen someone come in and close a door behind them in a movie? Or turn off a light? The lights are just always on. It's like Motel 6 up in there.
*Your hair and make-up are perfect 24-7. Whether you just stepped out of a shower, woke up, made passionate love, had an emotional breakdown, or stood in the middle of a tornado... you look fabulous.
*There's always a soundtrack. Personally, I like to think my life actually has a soundtrack, and it involves a lot of 80s power ballads and anthems, but I'm the only one who can hear it. Wouldn't it be nice if other people could too?
*Sex would never be awkward. No spontaneous leg cramps, no accidental flying elbows, no unintended hair pulling. No "Don't look at my undies, I haven't done laundry in a week, and I didn't know this was going to happen." moments. And every position would be flattering. Not to mention, no mess to clean up, you just roll over and fall right into blissful sleep. Just once, I'd like to see someone grab a towel after.
*Shit is always blowing up. Seriously, does everyone have dynamite, C4, and grenades in their pockets? Walking slowly away from a giant, fiery, mushroom cloud-esque explosion is #38 on my bucket list.
*You never have to use the bathroom. Like ever. Frodo and Sam walked the entire length of Middle Earth, and not once did I hear one of them say "Where's a Quickie Mart, I gotta pee." or "That elf cheese has me tore up. I'll be right back." Nope. Not one time.
*People are more attractive. It's a wonder anyone in the movies can keep their pants on. Every security guard, waitress, and assorted passerby is eye candy. Mmm, mmm, mmm. Break me off a piece of that.

I think you catch my drift. Movies are great, and they certainly entertain, but unless you are watching a documentary, odds are they aren't going to be very realistic. And that's ok... it's good to escape reality from time to time. And on that note... I'm off to the potty, since this isn't a movie, and my bladder is real, and quite full. Happy Friday, y'all.