Can We PLEASE Stop Saying This?

Lately, I've come to find that there are certain phrases that rub me the wrong way. One of those is "You have too much time on your hands." or the closely related "I wish I had as much free time as you do."

I get these, or variations of these, a lot, and to be totally honest, they really piss me off. EVERYONE has free time. How much you have varies based on your obligations. If you prioritize well, and don't waste time, you could probably free up enough to do just about anything you put your mind to. More often than not, people aren't nearly as busy as they want the world to think they are.

I am a crafter. It's a hobby of mine, as well as a way to make some additional income. I make time for it. Whether that means starting dinner a bit later some nights, or simply turning the television off, I make sure to work it into my schedule, because it is something that gives me pleasure.

So when I share a photo of a project I've done, and someone says "It must be nice to have so much free time." I get angry. I work 5 days a week, maintain a home, a happy marriage, and more. I MAKE time to do these things. If you choose to put your free time into something else, that is your choice. I don't comment on your gardening or trash TV posts and say "Gee, it must be nice to have so much time on your hands." Because I don't WANT to do those things, so I won't make time for them. But I will make time to do crafts, read books, take silly photos with my gnomes, or LEGOs, and write my blogs. It isn't that I have this plethora of time that I am just desperately trying to fill. I am choosing to use the free time I have to do things that make me smile. And many of the things that people make these comments about are things that took mere minutes of my day. Don't act as though you don't have a spare five minutes to do something. You probably spent longer than that just sitting on the toilet playing Candy Crush.

It is not your job to judge what someone else does with their free time. If you opt to go shopping, play video games, watch TV, take 2 hour baths, workout, etc. that is YOUR choice. Just because you use your time differently than someone else, does not make you better, cooler, busier, or more important than that person.

Whether that was your intention or not doesn't matter. Just stop saying it.
My time is no less valuable than yours, regardless of what silly project I choose to do with it.
Thank you. Rant over.

Busy, Busy...

How often do you hear people say things like "I'm just too busy." or "Things have just been crazy busy lately!" or "I WISH I had time to do that, but I'm so busy all the time."? I hear it A LOT!

Busy, busy, busy... Sometimes I think that people just like to say that they are busy, when really, they aren't. I know a lot of people with A LOT of time on their hands, but if you ask them, they are just SO busy they barely have time to eat or sleep. What's up with that? Don't get me wrong, I think some folks really are busy. They work long hours, have multiple jobs, etc. But a vast majority of the people who THINK they are so busy, really aren't. So why say it? Is it an excuse to get out of doing something you don't want to do? Does it make you feel special or important? 

I myself am rarely busy. Sure, sometimes I have plans, or am currently doing something, but I am hardly ever truly "busy". Even when I worked two jobs, raised a son, maintained a spotless home, made time for my husband and loved ones, I still didn't consider myself busy. I often had things going on, sure, but I still made time for things I needed and wanted to do. I think that is the biggest problem people have. They often think they are busy, when in reality, they just don't manage their time well. Most people have a set work schedule. And if you have kids, they generally get out of school at the same time every day. And if they have activities, those often have a predetermined schedule as well. So... that means that if there are other things you need to do, (clean, eat, exercise, have sex, etc.) you must fit those in during the remaining hours. Makes sense, right? Yet people still seem to struggle with it. I know it can be challenging at times, life happens, and things don't always go as planned. But for the most part, it can be done. 

I often ask people who say they are busy a lot how much TV they watch. Or how much time a day they spend online. If people are honest, they realize a great deal of time is wasted doing a whole lot of nothing. "Oh my house is a disaster, I just haven't had time to clean! But can you believe what happened on The Bachelor? " Ummm.... really?? If you have time to watch useless television, than you have time to keep a house clean. If you've made 50 posts on facebook and pinned 800 things to boards on pinterest, but make your kids eat McDonalds because you didn't have time to cook... you are NOT managing your time well. Sorry, but that is just the truth. 

I think my biggest pet peeve with the "busy epidemic" is when people use it as an excuse to not be good parents, friends, spouses, etc. Children are not small for long. They grow up in the blink of an eye and before you know it, you've missed out on everything. Sitting in front of a TV or computer or staring at a phone should NEVER come before your child. Period. You should never be too busy to spend time with your kids. If you have to miss out on the latest twitter trends, or skip a blog post once in awhile, so be it. If you have your kids scheduled for activities during every free moment, you aren't doing them any favors. Kids need time to run and play, they need time with their siblings and parents to do family stuff. They need to not stare at a clock and feel rushed and hurried. They shouldn't be busy. 

If you and your spouse/partner haven't had sex or alone time in more than a week, and one of you isn't out of town or in a coma, you need to manage your time better. If you don't make time to nurture that relationship, it WILL fall apart. You need to make time for each other, even if it is just a few hours a day after the kids go to bed. Heading to separate rooms to watch TV, etc. will not bring you closer. Your children learn how to have good relationships from watching you, so if they see that you are always "too busy" for each other, they will take that lesson into their future relationships and continue the pattern. 

If every time your friends/loved ones invite you to do something, you are just too busy, eventually they will stop calling. Relationships are a two way street. If you want people to be there for you, then you sure as hell better return the favor. Even if it is just coffee before work, or dinner and drinks once a month. Maybe run your errands together, or join an exercise class with a few friends. Whatever you do, MAKE TIME. Those people will not always be there. Time is not a guarantee, nor is it infinite. 

Busyness is a state of mind. If you convince yourself that you are busy, you will feel busy. If you use your time wisely and manage it well, you will be surprised at how much you really have. If you put important things and people first, the rest will fall into place. So the next time you catch yourself saying "I'm just so busy." stop and think... are you truly?