Can We PLEASE Stop Saying This?

Lately, I've come to find that there are certain phrases that rub me the wrong way. One of those is "You have too much time on your hands." or the closely related "I wish I had as much free time as you do."

I get these, or variations of these, a lot, and to be totally honest, they really piss me off. EVERYONE has free time. How much you have varies based on your obligations. If you prioritize well, and don't waste time, you could probably free up enough to do just about anything you put your mind to. More often than not, people aren't nearly as busy as they want the world to think they are.

I am a crafter. It's a hobby of mine, as well as a way to make some additional income. I make time for it. Whether that means starting dinner a bit later some nights, or simply turning the television off, I make sure to work it into my schedule, because it is something that gives me pleasure.

So when I share a photo of a project I've done, and someone says "It must be nice to have so much free time." I get angry. I work 5 days a week, maintain a home, a happy marriage, and more. I MAKE time to do these things. If you choose to put your free time into something else, that is your choice. I don't comment on your gardening or trash TV posts and say "Gee, it must be nice to have so much time on your hands." Because I don't WANT to do those things, so I won't make time for them. But I will make time to do crafts, read books, take silly photos with my gnomes, or LEGOs, and write my blogs. It isn't that I have this plethora of time that I am just desperately trying to fill. I am choosing to use the free time I have to do things that make me smile. And many of the things that people make these comments about are things that took mere minutes of my day. Don't act as though you don't have a spare five minutes to do something. You probably spent longer than that just sitting on the toilet playing Candy Crush.

It is not your job to judge what someone else does with their free time. If you opt to go shopping, play video games, watch TV, take 2 hour baths, workout, etc. that is YOUR choice. Just because you use your time differently than someone else, does not make you better, cooler, busier, or more important than that person.

Whether that was your intention or not doesn't matter. Just stop saying it.
My time is no less valuable than yours, regardless of what silly project I choose to do with it.
Thank you. Rant over.

Parents and Kids: My Rant

Maybe it's because I'm grieving the loss of my only child, or maybe I am just getting cantankerous in my old(er) age, but I am finding myself getting more and more irritated with parents today. 
I know so many women who say they wanted nothing more than to be moms, yet I am constantly hearing them complain about their children. You do realize that being a mom means having kids, right?? These women make babies like it's nothing, and then proceed to act as though those same babies are nothing but an inconvenience. I am forever hearing and seeing comments like "I can't get anything done!" or "These kids are driving me insane!" or my absolute favorite "I just need to get away from my kids." Do you realize how that sounds? Especially to someone who no longer has a child, or to women who, no matter how hard they try, cannot have children. It makes me want to slap people. 
Having children is a privilege. And it is one that is denied to many. If you make the choice to bring a child into this world, you damn well better understand what that choice entails. 
It means you are no longer the center of the universe. It means sleepless nights, messy homes, stress and more. It means that you are putting the comfort and happiness of someone else above your own. It means that no matter how shitty you feel, you still have a responsibility to uphold. It means sacrificing some things. If you are not ready and willing to deal with that, then maybe you shouldn't have kids. I am sick and tired of seeing children mistreated by ignorant and selfish women (and men) who had absolutely no right bringing a life into this world. The ABILITY to have a baby does not automatically equal the RIGHT to do so. 
Raising children is a job. Plain and simple. If you are not willing and able to devote that kind of time and energy to it, then don't. Period. 
Children need structure and stability. They need rules and schedules. They need constant love, attention and support. Notice I said CONSTANT. Not occasional. Not just an hour a day. And not just when you feel like it. We wonder why the world is falling apart at the seams, when the answer is plain and simple. Family values have disappeared. Children are growing up without strong support systems. They are being raised by televisions and computers instead of loving parents. They are being overwhelmed by information that they are far from equipped to deal with. Parents no longer take responsibility for their children. They want to blame schools and music. Where were you when your child needed you? Too busy? 
I'm sick of it. Just sick. I am tired of hearing about all these families on welfare and government aid who just keep making babies. I am sick of seeing the abused and neglected faces of children on the news, whose only crime was being born to ignorant and selfish parents. I am sick of women complaining about how hard it is to stay home and love your children. I am sick of seeing post after post from women about how they only feed their children organic foods and refuse to vaccinate, but they see no problem with sticking that same kid in front of a TV for hours on end instead of spending time with them. I am sick of all the "single mom" shit. You can't make a relationship last more than 3 months, yet you think it's a good idea to have a baby with that person? And then have the nerve to bitch about how you have no choice but to raise that baby alone. No choice?? I think you made your choice. The only one with no choice was the child. And don't get me started on mixed families. You hate kids? Well then maybe don't date/marry someone who has them. It is not the child's fault that they were brought into a bad situation. Of course they love their mom or dad. You have no right to hold that against them. And as a parent, HOW DARE YOU use your child as a weapon against an ex. That is inexcusable and disgusting, and you should be ashamed of yourself. YOU made the choice to make a baby with that person. YOU DID. So stop bad mouthing that person to your child. If he/she is such a piece of shit, then you are the idiot for being with them and creating a life with them. By disrespecting that person to your child, you are only causing pain and problems for your son or daughter. And what kind of person does that make you? 
Children are not a toy. They are not here for your amusement and entertainment when and if you feel like "playing house". They are a life. A precious and fragile life. They are innocent souls who YOU are responsible for molding into functioning individuals. If you are not a functional, responsible, loving person, how do you expect to raise one? If you do not give your children the love, attention and support they need from day one, do not be surprised when they become angry, hateful teens or adults. You are setting the example to that child. Are you proud of that example??