50 Things Every Child Should Do

The older I get, the more fondly I look back on the simple innocence of youth. In a time when children are growing up so fast, and are mature beyond their years, it is even more important to make sure kids experience the joys of childhood. It is easy to get caught up in routines and the craziness of life, and before we know it, our children are grown. So here is a list of things that I think every kid needs to experience. Simple things that they will always remember and one day share with their kids. With summer break upon us, now is a great time to make these memories with your family. 

1. Read books, and lots of them. Real books, with real pages.
2. Dress up and play make believe. 
3. See a rainbow and try to find the pot of gold at the end.
4. Pretend the floor is lava.
5. Learn to build a proper blanket fort. 
6. Catch fireflies.
7. Make s'mores.
8. Have a lemonade stand.
9. Go camping and sleep under the stars.
10. Identify the big and little dipper. And the North Star.
11. Make sock puppets and put on a puppet show.
12. Sing silly songs.
13. Dance until your legs hurt. 
14. Build a sand castle and watch it get washed away.
15. Run barefoot.
16. Go for bike rides.
17. Make your own Halloween costume.
18. Blow bubbles. And chase them.
19. Use sidewalk chalk. 
20. Create art. 
21. Play an instrument. 
22. Make a new friend, all by themselves. 
23. Feed some wildlife.
24. Catch a frog, a turtle and a snake.
25. Pick wildflowers.
26. Eat fruits and veggies right out of the garden. 
27. Plant a tree.
28. Donate their own possessions to someone in need.
29. Learn to write a proper thank you note.
30. Play in the rain. 
31. Learn to make their bed. And do it every day.
32. Eat too much candy.
33. Have a pen pal.
34. Fall down. And get back up.
35. Ride a horse.
36. Learn to swim.
37. Go down a water slide.
38. Have a water balloon fight.
39. Build a snowman.
40. Have a snowball fight.
41. Listen to your parents favorite music.
42. Go to a drive in movie in your pajamas.
43. Watch fireworks and play with sparklers. 
44. Ride on a tractor. 
45. Build Legos. 
46. Go to museums. 
47. Learn to color inside and outside the lines.
48. Drink right from the hose.
49. Learn to do a cannonball.
50. Fight and make up with a friend.

Obviously there are many, many more things children should learn and experience, but this is a pretty good start. :)

10 BIG Things I Learned As A Parent

*Disclaimer: I am by no means suggesting I was a perfect parent. Many of these lessons I learned by making several mistakes along the way. But I think they are all things worth sharing.*

1. Be present. We live in a very busy world, and it's easy to get overwhelmed with work, chores, activities and more, but in order to be a truly good parent, you must be there. Choosing to become a parent is a choice to put someone else ahead of yourself. That means that when/if your child needs you, even for something that seems silly to you, you MUST be there. 
2. Listen. When your son or daughter is talking, really listen. This starts from the earliest age. I know hearing a story about a rock or turtle they found doesn't seem nearly as important as finishing dinner, but trust me... IT IS. To a 3 or 4 year old, that is HUGE and they are CHOOSING to share that with you. If you ignore what is important to them at a young age, they will stop sharing important things with you, and you will end up the clueless parent of a teenager. 
3. Be honest. As parents, it's easy to fall into the pattern of sugar coating and half truths, but it's a bad habit. They WILL learn the truth eventually, and they will be much better off it they hear it from you. Also, don't lie about how you were as a child. If you claim to never have made mistakes, you are setting an impossible standard for your children, and that is unfair. They don't need all the details, but you can help them learn through your mistakes. The sooner children learn that parents are not perfect, the sooner they can relate to you. Being honest also creates a bond of trust and respect that is a MUST for a good parent/child relationship. 
4. Teach a love of reading. I cannot stress how important this is. From the earliest age, you should be reading to your kids. And not from phones, computers or tablets. REAL BOOKS. Teach them to appreciate the written word and the joy it can bring. Reading opens up new worlds and experiences, and it is proven to help with math, science, comprehension and writing skills, just to name a few. Books can be a lonely or quiet child's best friend, and they can also be something helpful and calming to an active child. Reading is essential to a well rounded individual. Take young children to libraries and let them choose books that appeal to them. This also teaches them to respect the property of others, by not damaging borrowed books. I could go on for days about the benefits of reading, but just trust me on this one.
5. Teach problem solving. As a parent, it is instinct to want to protect our child and solve all of their problems. But that is detrimental to your child. They NEED to learn to solve problems on their own. They need to deal with conflict, loss, failure, fear, etc in order to ever learn to handle them. Life is not always easy or fun, and the sooner a child understands this, the better equipped they will be to deal with those things as an adult. This does not mean we should let them suffer alone, but it does mean that they will need to suffer from time to time. It will make them stronger, more independent and capable adults. 
6. Say NO. This is another big one. Kids absolutely need to hear you say no. You CANNOT give in to your child all the time. Not only is that beyond spoiling, but it is setting them up for MAJOR disappointment in the real world. You are the boss, you make the rules. If you tell your child no, stick to it. Trust me, this will not always be easy, but it is SO worth it. Saying no teaches patience, respect and acceptance. These are things you want your child to have. 
7. Manners ARE important. In an age where everything is emailed, text or chatted, it's easy to overlook the basic rules of courtesy and respect. But simple things like please and thank you are SO important. Teach your child proper table manners, how to behave in public and at someone else's house, how to take care of their things, how to hold the door for others and how to treat others with kindness. These are so often neglected and we can all see the change in the world. So if you want things to get better, it starts at home. Teach your children manners. 
8. You are the parent, not the friend. If you are worried about being the cool mom or dad, you shouldn't have kids. Kids need parents to set standards, make and enforce rules, offer advice and be supportive. They need to learn how to be responsible, respectful adults by having responsible and respectful adults in their lives. It is not your job to be their buddy. They have plenty of friends. If you do your job right as a parent, when your child grows up, you will have a wonderful relationship with them that is so much more than a friendship. So if your 13 year old hates you right now because you made her change her clothes... that's ok. Someday she'll be grateful for it. Parenting is NOT instant gratification. It is a LONG process, and you may not see all the results/rewards right away, but if you do it well, I promise... you WILL see them. 
9. Have fun. Kids are fun. Plain and simple. Even though parenting can be an overwhelming job at times, it shouldn't always be. Make time for fun with your kids. Dress up and act silly, play games, do arts and crafts, dance to good music and laugh together. Make memories that will last a lifetime. Turn off the TV and computer, put away your phone and go for a bike ride. Or go fishing, camping or to the park. Push your child on the swings, follow them down the slide, race them on the monkey bars. Build Legos together, make Play-Doh food and pretend to eat it, let them braid your hair, have water fights, be silly. Teach your child it's ok to laugh and find the joy in life. Then someday, you can sit back and watch them do it with their kids. 
10. Say I love you. I know it sounds simple, but it is anything but. As a parent, you are going to have to be the bad guy sometimes, you will have to discipline and make tough choices. You will yell, argue and make mistakes. Your kids will get angry with you, they may even hate you a little sometimes. So NEVER EVER hesitate to say I love you. Say it often and mean it. Hug and kiss your children. Even when they get big and find it embarrassing. Do it so often, that even when they are angry with you, they still KNOW you love them. Take it from me, you never know when you won't have the chance to say it again, so make sure they hear it and believe it. 

Parents and Kids: My Rant

Maybe it's because I'm grieving the loss of my only child, or maybe I am just getting cantankerous in my old(er) age, but I am finding myself getting more and more irritated with parents today. 
I know so many women who say they wanted nothing more than to be moms, yet I am constantly hearing them complain about their children. You do realize that being a mom means having kids, right?? These women make babies like it's nothing, and then proceed to act as though those same babies are nothing but an inconvenience. I am forever hearing and seeing comments like "I can't get anything done!" or "These kids are driving me insane!" or my absolute favorite "I just need to get away from my kids." Do you realize how that sounds? Especially to someone who no longer has a child, or to women who, no matter how hard they try, cannot have children. It makes me want to slap people. 
Having children is a privilege. And it is one that is denied to many. If you make the choice to bring a child into this world, you damn well better understand what that choice entails. 
It means you are no longer the center of the universe. It means sleepless nights, messy homes, stress and more. It means that you are putting the comfort and happiness of someone else above your own. It means that no matter how shitty you feel, you still have a responsibility to uphold. It means sacrificing some things. If you are not ready and willing to deal with that, then maybe you shouldn't have kids. I am sick and tired of seeing children mistreated by ignorant and selfish women (and men) who had absolutely no right bringing a life into this world. The ABILITY to have a baby does not automatically equal the RIGHT to do so. 
Raising children is a job. Plain and simple. If you are not willing and able to devote that kind of time and energy to it, then don't. Period. 
Children need structure and stability. They need rules and schedules. They need constant love, attention and support. Notice I said CONSTANT. Not occasional. Not just an hour a day. And not just when you feel like it. We wonder why the world is falling apart at the seams, when the answer is plain and simple. Family values have disappeared. Children are growing up without strong support systems. They are being raised by televisions and computers instead of loving parents. They are being overwhelmed by information that they are far from equipped to deal with. Parents no longer take responsibility for their children. They want to blame schools and music. Where were you when your child needed you? Too busy? 
I'm sick of it. Just sick. I am tired of hearing about all these families on welfare and government aid who just keep making babies. I am sick of seeing the abused and neglected faces of children on the news, whose only crime was being born to ignorant and selfish parents. I am sick of women complaining about how hard it is to stay home and love your children. I am sick of seeing post after post from women about how they only feed their children organic foods and refuse to vaccinate, but they see no problem with sticking that same kid in front of a TV for hours on end instead of spending time with them. I am sick of all the "single mom" shit. You can't make a relationship last more than 3 months, yet you think it's a good idea to have a baby with that person? And then have the nerve to bitch about how you have no choice but to raise that baby alone. No choice?? I think you made your choice. The only one with no choice was the child. And don't get me started on mixed families. You hate kids? Well then maybe don't date/marry someone who has them. It is not the child's fault that they were brought into a bad situation. Of course they love their mom or dad. You have no right to hold that against them. And as a parent, HOW DARE YOU use your child as a weapon against an ex. That is inexcusable and disgusting, and you should be ashamed of yourself. YOU made the choice to make a baby with that person. YOU DID. So stop bad mouthing that person to your child. If he/she is such a piece of shit, then you are the idiot for being with them and creating a life with them. By disrespecting that person to your child, you are only causing pain and problems for your son or daughter. And what kind of person does that make you? 
Children are not a toy. They are not here for your amusement and entertainment when and if you feel like "playing house". They are a life. A precious and fragile life. They are innocent souls who YOU are responsible for molding into functioning individuals. If you are not a functional, responsible, loving person, how do you expect to raise one? If you do not give your children the love, attention and support they need from day one, do not be surprised when they become angry, hateful teens or adults. You are setting the example to that child. Are you proud of that example??