10 BIG Things I Learned As A Parent

*Disclaimer: I am by no means suggesting I was a perfect parent. Many of these lessons I learned by making several mistakes along the way. But I think they are all things worth sharing.*

1. Be present. We live in a very busy world, and it's easy to get overwhelmed with work, chores, activities and more, but in order to be a truly good parent, you must be there. Choosing to become a parent is a choice to put someone else ahead of yourself. That means that when/if your child needs you, even for something that seems silly to you, you MUST be there. 
2. Listen. When your son or daughter is talking, really listen. This starts from the earliest age. I know hearing a story about a rock or turtle they found doesn't seem nearly as important as finishing dinner, but trust me... IT IS. To a 3 or 4 year old, that is HUGE and they are CHOOSING to share that with you. If you ignore what is important to them at a young age, they will stop sharing important things with you, and you will end up the clueless parent of a teenager. 
3. Be honest. As parents, it's easy to fall into the pattern of sugar coating and half truths, but it's a bad habit. They WILL learn the truth eventually, and they will be much better off it they hear it from you. Also, don't lie about how you were as a child. If you claim to never have made mistakes, you are setting an impossible standard for your children, and that is unfair. They don't need all the details, but you can help them learn through your mistakes. The sooner children learn that parents are not perfect, the sooner they can relate to you. Being honest also creates a bond of trust and respect that is a MUST for a good parent/child relationship. 
4. Teach a love of reading. I cannot stress how important this is. From the earliest age, you should be reading to your kids. And not from phones, computers or tablets. REAL BOOKS. Teach them to appreciate the written word and the joy it can bring. Reading opens up new worlds and experiences, and it is proven to help with math, science, comprehension and writing skills, just to name a few. Books can be a lonely or quiet child's best friend, and they can also be something helpful and calming to an active child. Reading is essential to a well rounded individual. Take young children to libraries and let them choose books that appeal to them. This also teaches them to respect the property of others, by not damaging borrowed books. I could go on for days about the benefits of reading, but just trust me on this one.
5. Teach problem solving. As a parent, it is instinct to want to protect our child and solve all of their problems. But that is detrimental to your child. They NEED to learn to solve problems on their own. They need to deal with conflict, loss, failure, fear, etc in order to ever learn to handle them. Life is not always easy or fun, and the sooner a child understands this, the better equipped they will be to deal with those things as an adult. This does not mean we should let them suffer alone, but it does mean that they will need to suffer from time to time. It will make them stronger, more independent and capable adults. 
6. Say NO. This is another big one. Kids absolutely need to hear you say no. You CANNOT give in to your child all the time. Not only is that beyond spoiling, but it is setting them up for MAJOR disappointment in the real world. You are the boss, you make the rules. If you tell your child no, stick to it. Trust me, this will not always be easy, but it is SO worth it. Saying no teaches patience, respect and acceptance. These are things you want your child to have. 
7. Manners ARE important. In an age where everything is emailed, text or chatted, it's easy to overlook the basic rules of courtesy and respect. But simple things like please and thank you are SO important. Teach your child proper table manners, how to behave in public and at someone else's house, how to take care of their things, how to hold the door for others and how to treat others with kindness. These are so often neglected and we can all see the change in the world. So if you want things to get better, it starts at home. Teach your children manners. 
8. You are the parent, not the friend. If you are worried about being the cool mom or dad, you shouldn't have kids. Kids need parents to set standards, make and enforce rules, offer advice and be supportive. They need to learn how to be responsible, respectful adults by having responsible and respectful adults in their lives. It is not your job to be their buddy. They have plenty of friends. If you do your job right as a parent, when your child grows up, you will have a wonderful relationship with them that is so much more than a friendship. So if your 13 year old hates you right now because you made her change her clothes... that's ok. Someday she'll be grateful for it. Parenting is NOT instant gratification. It is a LONG process, and you may not see all the results/rewards right away, but if you do it well, I promise... you WILL see them. 
9. Have fun. Kids are fun. Plain and simple. Even though parenting can be an overwhelming job at times, it shouldn't always be. Make time for fun with your kids. Dress up and act silly, play games, do arts and crafts, dance to good music and laugh together. Make memories that will last a lifetime. Turn off the TV and computer, put away your phone and go for a bike ride. Or go fishing, camping or to the park. Push your child on the swings, follow them down the slide, race them on the monkey bars. Build Legos together, make Play-Doh food and pretend to eat it, let them braid your hair, have water fights, be silly. Teach your child it's ok to laugh and find the joy in life. Then someday, you can sit back and watch them do it with their kids. 
10. Say I love you. I know it sounds simple, but it is anything but. As a parent, you are going to have to be the bad guy sometimes, you will have to discipline and make tough choices. You will yell, argue and make mistakes. Your kids will get angry with you, they may even hate you a little sometimes. So NEVER EVER hesitate to say I love you. Say it often and mean it. Hug and kiss your children. Even when they get big and find it embarrassing. Do it so often, that even when they are angry with you, they still KNOW you love them. Take it from me, you never know when you won't have the chance to say it again, so make sure they hear it and believe it.