Things I'd Rather Do Than Watch The World Cup

I don't follow soccer. Not even a little bit. I don't follow most any professional sports for that matter. I like motorsports, and I'll watch the Olympics. That's just about it for my level of interest. My craft game really picks up around the start of football season, and while everyone else jumps on the baseball bandwagon, I'm generally nose deep in a book.
So when all this World Cup hype started, I figured that I had maybe 5 soccer fans on my social media, and I could scroll past their updates easy peasy.
I was wrong. So, so wrong. And things really picked up after the attempted cannibalism began. So now I'm bombarded with endless updates and scores, memes and rants, and I just don't care. Facebook & Twitter should offer a temporary sports free filter option for times like this. I love my friends, and I try not to judge them on their tastes in entertainment, but it's hard. So very  hard. I look forward to when the World Cup is over, and I can get back to judging them on their terrible spelling and grammar.
But in the meantime, I thought that I would indulge you in just how much I don't care about soccer by offering you a list of things that I'd rather do than watch the World Cup.

1. Have my nether bits poked and probed. Come to think of it... I am overdue for my annual visit...

2. Watch paint dry. Oooooh.... look at the pretty colors.

3. Have my teeth cleaned. Well, to be fair, I rather enjoy the dentist. #CavityFreeBitches

4. Babysit the devil's spawn. "Let's play hide and burn, I mean seek, hide and seek!!"

5. Walk barefoot over a pile of LEGOS. That are on fire.

6. Taste test the mystery meat meal from a blind chef.

7. Cut the grass on a golf course. With left handed children's scissors.

8. Have awkward sex with anyone who makes their living as a puppeteer. While they are "in character".

9. Sit through a book club meeting of Twilight fans.

10. Drive a Camaro.

Ok, let's be honest.... I would NEVER do that last one, but you get the idea. Soccer isn't for me. And the only thing I'm looking forward to in the World Cup, is it ending.