In Response To...

Yesterday, my friend Wendy shared with me a blog post that I think would strike a nerve for many people. She clearly knew that I would have plenty to say in response to it, and she specifically requested I blog said response.
Normally, I wouldn't directly respond to another blog. As bloggers, we understand that what we write is basically a diary made public. We know that for every one person who appreciates what we say, there are hundreds more haters out there ready to send us nasty feedback. But after much thought, I've decided to honor Wendy's request, and respond to it. Not as a hater, but as someone with a very different perspective on the matter. For those of you curious, please take a few moments, and read the post to which I am referring.

(My Husband Doesn't Need To See Your Boobs)

Here is my response:

Dear Lauren,
It is obvious to me, and anyone who read your post, that you have some very deep seated insecurities. While I know that you stated very clearly that you weren't judging or hating, I can't help but feel as though that is exactly what you were doing. Albeit, wrapped in a polite manner, but judging none the less.
It is also incredibly obvious that you and your husband have some serious issues that you need to work out. I'd like to address some things about your post that I think you might benefit from seeing another perspective on.

"If I was skinny with rock-hard abs and legs from here to Mexico, I’d want to take lots of pictures of myself. Mostly naked. I would want to post them with a nice filter on Instagram, and share them with whoever might see."

What I hear when I read this is someone who is very unhappy/uncomfortable in their own skin. Someone with lifelong insecurities that is desperately trying to fit into some mold that she THINKS the world wants to see. Someone who is judging every female she sees, and comparing herself to them. Someone who has not truly accepted that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Someone who wishes that the rest of the women in the world would hide themselves in order to make HER feel better about herself. Are you suggesting that if you did look like the person you described, this post would not even be necessary? Because that is how it sounds.

"When I scroll through my news feed, my thumb moves in a continuous circular motion until something catches my eye and I want to look closer. And then I tap on the picture and make that little swipe with my thumb and pointer finger so I can zoom in just as close as I can to capture all the details.
I’m especially bad about this when there is a line of bathing suits in the pic. AND I’M A GIRL.
Mostly I’m looking at your legs asking myself, How are there seriously people without cellulite????"

Reading this, I can't help but first think that you should find a hobby, because you clearly have too much time on your hands. Zooming in on photos of female bodies to examine them for flaws says much more about your character than it does about the character of the females in question. If you see a photo of an attractive young woman in a swimsuit or scantily clad outfit, and you can't keep from zooming in and "capturing all the details" the problem in this scenario is you. Not the girls in the photos.

"After Memorial Day, I noticed so much skin on social media that I half-yelled a warning to him as I ran out the door one morning. It’s summertime, honey! Beware the beach pics and half nude girls on Instagram! And like that, he was in solitary confinement from all virtual community for the next two days."

All I can say to this is wow. So basically your husband has so little self control that you have to preview the internet for him to warn him if it is safe for his eyes. You do realize how insane that sounds, right? We live in a world bombarded with images of sex and sensuality. TV, movies, magazines, books, etc. Like it or not, that is the time that we exist in. If your husband is so weak that he cannot even see an image of bare skin without it creating a problem in your marriage, you should really reconsider your relationship. Do you have so little faith and trust in him that you feel compelled to shelter him from reality?
And if so, do you really think that will work forever?
Here's the harsh truth:

The world doesn't revolve around you and your insecurities. Like it or not, women will continue to dress exactly how they want and how they are comfortable. Your husbands ability (or lack thereof) to "protect his eyes" and your lack of self esteem, isn't and shouldn't be their concern. I am a 35 year old woman, and I have been known to wear a low cut top from time to time. Does doing so attract some looks? Sure. Is that why I do it? No. I do it because that's what I like to wear, and it's flattering to my shape. I have never once put on an outfit with the intention of ruining someone's marriage. And I think I can speak for most women when I say that neither have they. That 22 year old, with the hard earned rocking body, shouldn't feel guilty about running around on the beach in her bikini just because you might have stretch marks and extra pounds, or a husband with a wandering eye. Unless they are motorboating him, what women do with their boobs is their business, not your husband's. Or yours.
Sincerely,
Teena