Real Talk: Be Yourself

Hipster. Tomboy. Princess. Nerd. These are all labels. Labels that people insist on using to try to narrow down individuals, and fit them into some predesigned category. Why? What if I want to be a princess AND a tomboy? I don't like labels. I don't like the idea of taking a whole person, and expecting one word to totally describe them. You know what one word I'd use to describe myself? Me. Yup, that's it. I'm not just one thing. I'm a plethora of things. It depends on my mood, and the day, what I'm doing, where I'm going, etc. At any given time, you could find me cleaning the toilet whilst wearing a sparkly tiara, or riding shotgun in a rally car, sporting a helmet with a pink shocker sticker on it. I could be in heels or cowboy boots. There could be dirt or grease under my pretty manicure. I could be quietly reading in the corner, or laughing it up with the life of the party. I'm not just one thing, so quit trying to label me that way.
And my friends are just as diverse. Because I don't choose friends based on any one characteristic. Their religion, race, sex, hobbies, and clothing choices are merely parts of who they are. If you treat me with kindness, respect, and make me laugh... chances are, we're going to be friends.
Humans are so quick to judge, that they struggle to get past appearances. If you don't look a certain way, you must not BE a certain way. And if we do make it past the outer package, we tend to get hung up on bits & pieces of a person's makeup. We focus on one single part of who they are, and never move beyond that. We want to lump everyone into categories, so that it's easier for us to decide who we want to surround ourselves with. Like shopping for relationships in a supermarket.
What would happen if you were blindfolded, and locked in a room with 10 people and forced to actually get to know them? I bet you'd be amazed at what you discovered.
I'm so tired of hearing things like "All gay people are..." or "All Christians are..." or "All Democrats are..." and so on and so on. You know what ALL gay people are? Gay. That's it. People cannot be solely defined by one single characteristic. How you could choose to like or dislike someone based on only one thing is insane to me. People are made up of an endless variety of attributes. To try to force all of those things into one boring label makes about as much sense as trying to milk a rock.
And for all those lost souls out there trying so hard to FIT into one of those boring labels... STOP IT! Don't be ashamed of being all the weird and wonderful things you are. Don't let someone else's idea of "cool" or "uncool" define you. You know what's truly cool? Being yourself, and being proud of it. If you're a rockstar who enjoys Star Wars, or a tomboy who secretly wears glitter toenail polish... own it. Don't be ashamed to step out of the label that you've been placed in. And if the world is so hell bent on putting you in a single category... create your own. As for me... I'm going with RedneckPrincessGeekUnicorn. I think that just about covers it. ;)

 

(Just a few of my many colorful sides.)

My Weekend At STPR 2014

I apologize for my absence, I'm sure you were all chomping at the bit waiting for my return. Well... I'm back.
It was a crazy weekend of rally in Wellsboro, PA (at STPR) full of lots of highs and a few lows. But I'm happy to say that we had a GREAT time. Big thanks to our friends Donnie & Amber for hosting us, and to their small blond child, Audrey, for keeping us plenty entertained the entire time. Also big congratulations to Donnie & Amber on their engagement, which I was honored to witness. I can now cross "witness a proposal" off my bucket list. It was very sweet, and they are two amazing people who I am so grateful found one another. I wish I had a photo of the stunning rock, because DAYUM, it was gorgeous. But I do have the romantic moment captured.

 

(above left is the proposal & bottom right is the "after" moment)

 

 



Just look at those smiles. Very happy for these two, and I know the future holds all the best for them.

So, I mentioned some lows. STPR is known as a "car killer" and this year's event left no doubt in anyone's mind on that fact. I don't think too many cars left there unscathed, and many left in severely rough shape. We had some big scares, which included a substantial off from team TAG Rally Sport, and being as there was little cell phone service in the area, it was awhile before we knew the status of our friends Tracey & Tabitha. After a trip to the local hospital to be checked out, they left with some bumps and bruises, but all in all safe and sound.

 

Here are the girls at the start of Day 1. All smiles, being silly with Hank the Gnome. So glad these two are ok. Wish I could say the same for their car, but hopefully Jellybean can be fixed and make a triumphant return soon.

We had a few other scares as well.

 

 

Our friend Gary of V8 Rally Ranger had a major off, also, and I am heartbroken to say that his truck did not fair as well as its passengers. But the guys are safe, and that's the most important thing. Fingers crossed we see the rally truck back in action sooner than later, as it is definitely a crowd pleaser.

 

 

Our buddies, Matt & Ian also had an off, though minor, it still kept them from finishing the race on Day 2. But the Honda is still solid, and ready for another go. Sad to see them DNF, but once again grateful for the safety equipment that protected them.

 

 

Our pal, Jeff (31 Motorsports) was kicking some butt, until he too had a pretty bad off. Jeff seems to enjoy having the car on its roof, but we hope he gets that out of his system soon. ;) He did end up with a trophy for Day 1, so congrats on that.

 

 

Happy to say that the Shark Attack car driven/co-driven by Ryan & Steven did awesome. Not only did they have easily the best jump of the event (Have you ever seen a shark fly? I have.) but they left with some trophies too. Great job, guys.

 

 

 

The Flying Frog car, piloted by Brian, and co-piloted by Amber, had a rough weekend as well. Luckily only a very minor off, but the car just wasn't performing at its best this event. Hopefully Brian can get Kermit fixed up right, and ready to kick some ass by the next event.

The quiet troopers, Alex & Chris made us all proud this weekend, by doing awesome. Trophies for both days, and a relatively unscathed car. Glad to have met these guys, and give them a hand with their car. Congrats, boys.

 

From close calls, to double rainbows, this event had it all. I could spend days writing about it. It was our first time out at STPR, and it certainly did not disappoint. As always, we had a great time seeing all of our old friends, and making lots of new ones. The rally community is an incredible group of people, and we are honored to be even a small part of it. So proud of all the competitors, crew, volunteers, and spectators. They all made it an awesome event, and I am already looking forward to next year.

Vacation/Rally Time!

The hubs and I are heading to Pennsylvania tomorrow for a few days of fun at STPR. (for more info, click here)
We will be doing some crewing for a friend's car (and possibly additional cars as well) and getting in some much needed visiting time with friends.
I love rallies. The camaraderie and enthusiasm is infectious. Even if you only see them a handful of times a year, the friendships are still incredibly genuine and deep. There is no shortage of smiles, laughter, and comedic storytelling.
And did I mention the cars? Yes. Lots and lots of beautiful, dirty, angry sounding rally cars. Music to my ears.
Needless to say, I am very much looking forward to it. But... that means I won't be blogging for the rest of the week. I know... I know.... it's heartbreaking, soul crushing, and awful news. And I'm sorry to have to break it to you this way. But I'll be back. And hopefully with lots of fun stories to share. Or at the very least, some hilarious photos and/or video footage.
So don't be sad. I'll be back before you know it, and all will be well in the world once more.
In the meantime, if you're having withdrawals, you can always go back and read old posts that you might have missed. You know, if you haven't been a die hard fan from the beginning and absorbed every last nugget of wisdom and humor that I've been spewing, you Berry Favorite junkie, you.
Just don't forget me while I'm gone. (I know, hilarious, right? Like that's even possible.)
And if you're near Wellsboro, PA, swing by STPR and check out the fun. You could even cheer on some friends of ours. Like this crazy guy.

 

(Photo credit: M.Campbell Photography)

 



Hair Woes...

I hate to be that person who puts way too much stock in their hair, but right now... I'm kinda that person.
I know it's just hair, and that it will grow back. I've experimented with my hair more times than I can count. I've had it long, short, medium. Straight bangs, angled bangs, big bangs, no bangs. I've had it every color of the rainbow at least once (with the exception of blond) and I've never suffered from any ill effects. So yes, I KNOW it's just hair. But right now, I'm debating going pixie, and suddenly it feels like a lot more than just hair....
Here's the thing... a woman's hair can be more than just hair. It can be a mask at times too. You can hide behind your hair literally and figuratively. The pixie cut is a style that requires confidence. And plenty of it. This is a trait that I fall short on. Cutting off that much of your hair leaves you face first to the world. You need to be pretty damn comfortable in that face. And to be 100% honest with you... I'm really not. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my face or anything. I don't run from mirrors in terror (that often) or frighten small children (usually) but I still struggle with loving it. It's mine, and I can appreciate some of my features, and I've learned to accept others, but I wouldn't say I'm confident about it.
Going pixie means no more ponytails on bad hair days, or days you're running behind. It means that people are probably going to mistake you for a boy at least once or twice. It means no more wearing your hair down to cover that volcanic zit on your cheek, or the weird sunburn line on your forehead. It means if you hate it, you're waiting a LONG time for it to grow out enough to change it.
But on the plus side, it means less styling time and fewer products, ideally. And I've always loved the pixie. It just screams retro/vintage, and we all know I LOVE me some retro. It's sassy and spunky, which is also fitting, and I love that you can add a headband, ribbon, scarf, or barrette, and instantly change your look. I love the contrast of the less feminine haircut with the more defined make-up. A strong brow, heavy liner, and a pop of lip color look amazing with the simplicity of a pixie cut.
I'M SO TORN!!
I can honestly say that I've NEVER given a haircut or color this much thought. So why I'm getting myself all bent out of shape about this is utterly beyond me. Maybe I'm just feeling indecisive, or self conscious. Maybe I'm worried that the image I have in my head is not the one that will end up ON my head. Maybe I'm just being a giant baby, and I need to suck it up and decide already, because there are SO many more important things to spend my energy worrying about.
Whatever the reasons, I have until 6:30 today to figure them out. Wish me luck!

This is the cut I would love to have. It's cute, sassy, and looks so easy to do.

 

This is me, with a cut I've had in the past, and loved. It's really not that much longer than the other one, right?? (Yeah, that's what I'm telling myself.)

Lessons From Loss

You know that instant of vivid realization that hits you after something terrible happens? Those life changing moments of clarity that remind you to live life to the fullest, and that tomorrow isn't promised. We've all experienced them, but more often than not, they are short lived, and we go right back to our normal routines.
Let me tell you a little secret... those flashes of insight and understanding are your brain's way of telling you to stop and smell the roses. You should really listen.
I can't tell you how often I hear people say "Life is short." or how many times a day I see social media photo quotes about dancing in the rain, and making the most of your time. But do we really take it to heart? The answer for most, is no. It's easy to click a share button, or to say something trite when the moment calls for it, but to really live that philosophy is a whole different ballgame.
We live in a fast paced world, where keeping up with the Joneses is commonplace and expected. Bigger, better, more... those are the words we tend to live by. Quantity wins out over quality 8 times out of 10.
From the earliest ages, we are taught to think far into the future. At age 5, we are asked what we want to be when we grow up. You know what I wanted to be at 5 years old? A kid. I wanted to play with my friends, be creative, run around outside until I was exhausted then go to bed and start all over the next day. I didn't want to think past recess, let alone into my adulthood.
It's no wonder that adults are so focused on the future, and planning ahead. We are trained to do that. And while there are obvious benefits to that, what about living in the present? At what point do we ask ourselves "What do you want to be right now?" Not 5, 10, or 20 years down the line, but in this very moment. What do you want? Maybe your answer is simple. A taco, or a massage. And maybe your answer is more complex... better health, a good relationship, a family. How often are you ignoring those desires because you are looking past them into some far off distant future? Probably a lot.
While some of those wants may seem trivial or silly, if they bring you even a moment of happiness, aren't they worth it? Is calling in sick to spend an impromptu afternoon with your best friend really going to cost you that much? Or leaving work early to make it to your daughter's soccer game? I'll bet seeing her face light up when she sees you in the stands is worth way more than those few hours of overtime.
It's good to look ahead sometimes. To make smart decisions, and have a plan for the future. But don't get so far ahead that you forget about the present. Be willing to stop and enjoy what you have now, instead of always counting on what you might have later. Don't ignore the people in your life today, because while you are planning out your future, they might not be there for it.
We really are only given so much time. How do you want yours to be spent? Making money? Or making memories? Making a living? Or making a life?
When we focus on the present, and live in the moment, we are truly experiencing life. Not watching it from the sidelines, or living vicariously through others. Will you make mistakes? Of course! But you'll learn from them. Will you get hurt sometimes? Probably. But it will make you stronger, smarter, and better. The fact is, you are always going to regret more the things you DIDN'T do, than the things you did. If you were told that you had one week to live, would that big house, fancy car, and pile of gadgets give you comfort? Would you be able to look your loved ones in the eyes and know that you gave them all wonderful memories to cherish long after you are gone?
Life IS short. I know this from experience. I never expected to have to say goodbye to my 18 year old son. He should have had his whole life ahead of him. We always think we have time. To make up for mistakes, to say I love you, to take that vacation, or to live out our dreams. But the reality is... we have no idea how much time we have.
Today really could be your last. So please.... make it count.

Car Guys vs. Car Douches

I spend a good deal of time in and around the automotive world, and one thing I learned early on, is that there are car guys and car douches. To the untrained eye, they might not be distinguishable, but if you know what to look for, you can certainly tell the difference.
While it's safe to say that some brands of vehicles certainly attract one or the other, that is not a surefire way to tell them apart. Although it is a good place to start. For instance, if a guy drives a super jacked up diesel truck, with ridiculously large tires, a freakishly loud exhaust, truck nuts, and a rebel flag anywhere in it or on it, it's a safe bet he's a douche bucket.
Here are a few other observations I've noticed about car douches:
If you buy all of your car mods from the local auto parts store (Look, more chrome trim pieces!) you are probably a car douche.
If you spend all day on internet forums reading about what everyone else is doing to their cars, shit talking about how much horsepower your last "mod" gave you, and "how fast it is on the strip"... you are most likely a car douche.
If you spend more time standing next to your car while it's parked, than driving it, you are probably a car douche.
If you back your car in every single time you park, even if it's just for a quick party store run (and it's not for a valid reason) you are probably a car douche.
If you have stickers for parts manufacturers on your car, and you don't actually have those parts on the car... you are probably a car douche.
If the first thing you ask another car guy is "What does it run?" Or "How much horsepower does it have?" odds are.... you're probably a car douche.
If you do a burnout from every stoplight, and try to "race" the other cars, even when they are clearly not participating.... you are most likely a car douche.
If you park 100 miles from every other car in a parking lot, and take up multiple spaces, you are probably a car douche.
If you have the most bad ass, fast, modified, wicked sick car, and you never once got your hands dirty working on it... you are probably a car douche.
If you have a windshield banner announcing the make or model of you car, and it's not for sponsorship reasons... you are probably a car douche.
If you have a personalized plate that insults another type of car (RICEEATR, V8LOL, etc.) you are probably a car douche.
Obviously, I could go on, but I think you get the idea. There are real automotive enthusiasts, and there are posers.
Real car guys appreciate a quality vehicle, regardless of the manufacturer. Real car guys worry less about horsepower, and more about drivability. Because real car guys know that it doesn't matter how much power your car has, if you can't put it to the ground and control it... it's useless. Real car guys get dirty working on their cars, and take pride in it, they don't just pay someone to do it. Real car guys don't memorize information, they learn it through hands on experience. Real car guys don't just talk cars, they actually drive them. Real car guys know where the best junk yards and salvage yards are, not just the location of the nearest Auto Zone.
And for the record... real car guys are a hell of a lot sexier than car douches.

I'm lucky enough to be married to a real car guy, and this is just one of our 4 wheeled babies.
                                            Photo credit: M.Campbell Photography

The Social Media Persona

If you have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. you know how hard people will try to put on a false façade. We have all seen the "happy couples" who post deep, meaningful things to each other's timelines, because apparently the other room was too far to walk to TELL THEM THAT. Or the Super Christians who think that the daily bible quote posts somehow make up for the 499 sins they committed throughout the remainder of the day. Or the "I'm so interesting!" people who insist on checking in everywhere. We get it, you work out. *slow clap* Now stop spamming my newsfeed with your GPS updates.
Whatever happened to just being yourself? When did it get so offensive to say what you think, or post an unedited picture? If your social media "friends" are truly your friends, do you really think they don't know how you are?
I mean, I get it. You don't want your grandma to know that you got shitfaced and danced on a table on Tuesday night. So maybe friending grandma wasn't the best idea. But remember, grandma was young once too. And what if she's just grateful camera phones and snapchat didn't exist in her day, and she got one helluva chuckle out of that post your friend tagged you in? What if being yourself created an open dialogue with the people in your life? Maybe if your sister knew you were really human, and made mistakes, she would stop trying to compete with you. Maybe if your father saw how happy you really were in the photos of you and your boyfriend, he would stop judging. Maybe if you stopped being fake on social media, you could make a real connection with someone.
Social media isn't real life. But it is a PART of real life. It's a place where many people find comfort, humor, friendship, and more.
But if you spend all of your time worrying about what you post, who might see it, how someone could react, and what people will think of you... why even bother? It is a fact that some people cannot handle social media. If you have those people in your life, and they have taken the fun out of it for you, remove them. It's that simple. If they get mad, just calmly explain to them that it isn't real life, but that it wasn't in the best interest of your relationship to remain on each other's social media. If they are still angry... well they obviously have deeper issues, and you're better off anyway.
My favorite people on social media are the ones who are real. Who share funny moments from their lives, poke fun at themselves, share things that matter to them, and enjoy connecting with others. If you have a Facebook account, and you spend hours on there trolling people's pages, but never post or comment... get off. You're a creeper. It's called SOCIAL media for a reason. If you aren't being social, you're doing it wrong. And don't think we don't know. We see that green dot next to your name, stalkers.
If there are people you don't want knowing your business, don't add them. Otherwise, who cares? Be yourself. Say what you want to say, don't apologize, and fucking enjoy it. That's the whole damn point.