Vacation/Rally Time!

The hubs and I are heading to Pennsylvania tomorrow for a few days of fun at STPR. (for more info, click here)
We will be doing some crewing for a friend's car (and possibly additional cars as well) and getting in some much needed visiting time with friends.
I love rallies. The camaraderie and enthusiasm is infectious. Even if you only see them a handful of times a year, the friendships are still incredibly genuine and deep. There is no shortage of smiles, laughter, and comedic storytelling.
And did I mention the cars? Yes. Lots and lots of beautiful, dirty, angry sounding rally cars. Music to my ears.
Needless to say, I am very much looking forward to it. But... that means I won't be blogging for the rest of the week. I know... I know.... it's heartbreaking, soul crushing, and awful news. And I'm sorry to have to break it to you this way. But I'll be back. And hopefully with lots of fun stories to share. Or at the very least, some hilarious photos and/or video footage.
So don't be sad. I'll be back before you know it, and all will be well in the world once more.
In the meantime, if you're having withdrawals, you can always go back and read old posts that you might have missed. You know, if you haven't been a die hard fan from the beginning and absorbed every last nugget of wisdom and humor that I've been spewing, you Berry Favorite junkie, you.
Just don't forget me while I'm gone. (I know, hilarious, right? Like that's even possible.)
And if you're near Wellsboro, PA, swing by STPR and check out the fun. You could even cheer on some friends of ours. Like this crazy guy.

 

(Photo credit: M.Campbell Photography)

 



Hair Woes...

I hate to be that person who puts way too much stock in their hair, but right now... I'm kinda that person.
I know it's just hair, and that it will grow back. I've experimented with my hair more times than I can count. I've had it long, short, medium. Straight bangs, angled bangs, big bangs, no bangs. I've had it every color of the rainbow at least once (with the exception of blond) and I've never suffered from any ill effects. So yes, I KNOW it's just hair. But right now, I'm debating going pixie, and suddenly it feels like a lot more than just hair....
Here's the thing... a woman's hair can be more than just hair. It can be a mask at times too. You can hide behind your hair literally and figuratively. The pixie cut is a style that requires confidence. And plenty of it. This is a trait that I fall short on. Cutting off that much of your hair leaves you face first to the world. You need to be pretty damn comfortable in that face. And to be 100% honest with you... I'm really not. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my face or anything. I don't run from mirrors in terror (that often) or frighten small children (usually) but I still struggle with loving it. It's mine, and I can appreciate some of my features, and I've learned to accept others, but I wouldn't say I'm confident about it.
Going pixie means no more ponytails on bad hair days, or days you're running behind. It means that people are probably going to mistake you for a boy at least once or twice. It means no more wearing your hair down to cover that volcanic zit on your cheek, or the weird sunburn line on your forehead. It means if you hate it, you're waiting a LONG time for it to grow out enough to change it.
But on the plus side, it means less styling time and fewer products, ideally. And I've always loved the pixie. It just screams retro/vintage, and we all know I LOVE me some retro. It's sassy and spunky, which is also fitting, and I love that you can add a headband, ribbon, scarf, or barrette, and instantly change your look. I love the contrast of the less feminine haircut with the more defined make-up. A strong brow, heavy liner, and a pop of lip color look amazing with the simplicity of a pixie cut.
I'M SO TORN!!
I can honestly say that I've NEVER given a haircut or color this much thought. So why I'm getting myself all bent out of shape about this is utterly beyond me. Maybe I'm just feeling indecisive, or self conscious. Maybe I'm worried that the image I have in my head is not the one that will end up ON my head. Maybe I'm just being a giant baby, and I need to suck it up and decide already, because there are SO many more important things to spend my energy worrying about.
Whatever the reasons, I have until 6:30 today to figure them out. Wish me luck!

This is the cut I would love to have. It's cute, sassy, and looks so easy to do.

 

This is me, with a cut I've had in the past, and loved. It's really not that much longer than the other one, right?? (Yeah, that's what I'm telling myself.)

Lessons From Loss

You know that instant of vivid realization that hits you after something terrible happens? Those life changing moments of clarity that remind you to live life to the fullest, and that tomorrow isn't promised. We've all experienced them, but more often than not, they are short lived, and we go right back to our normal routines.
Let me tell you a little secret... those flashes of insight and understanding are your brain's way of telling you to stop and smell the roses. You should really listen.
I can't tell you how often I hear people say "Life is short." or how many times a day I see social media photo quotes about dancing in the rain, and making the most of your time. But do we really take it to heart? The answer for most, is no. It's easy to click a share button, or to say something trite when the moment calls for it, but to really live that philosophy is a whole different ballgame.
We live in a fast paced world, where keeping up with the Joneses is commonplace and expected. Bigger, better, more... those are the words we tend to live by. Quantity wins out over quality 8 times out of 10.
From the earliest ages, we are taught to think far into the future. At age 5, we are asked what we want to be when we grow up. You know what I wanted to be at 5 years old? A kid. I wanted to play with my friends, be creative, run around outside until I was exhausted then go to bed and start all over the next day. I didn't want to think past recess, let alone into my adulthood.
It's no wonder that adults are so focused on the future, and planning ahead. We are trained to do that. And while there are obvious benefits to that, what about living in the present? At what point do we ask ourselves "What do you want to be right now?" Not 5, 10, or 20 years down the line, but in this very moment. What do you want? Maybe your answer is simple. A taco, or a massage. And maybe your answer is more complex... better health, a good relationship, a family. How often are you ignoring those desires because you are looking past them into some far off distant future? Probably a lot.
While some of those wants may seem trivial or silly, if they bring you even a moment of happiness, aren't they worth it? Is calling in sick to spend an impromptu afternoon with your best friend really going to cost you that much? Or leaving work early to make it to your daughter's soccer game? I'll bet seeing her face light up when she sees you in the stands is worth way more than those few hours of overtime.
It's good to look ahead sometimes. To make smart decisions, and have a plan for the future. But don't get so far ahead that you forget about the present. Be willing to stop and enjoy what you have now, instead of always counting on what you might have later. Don't ignore the people in your life today, because while you are planning out your future, they might not be there for it.
We really are only given so much time. How do you want yours to be spent? Making money? Or making memories? Making a living? Or making a life?
When we focus on the present, and live in the moment, we are truly experiencing life. Not watching it from the sidelines, or living vicariously through others. Will you make mistakes? Of course! But you'll learn from them. Will you get hurt sometimes? Probably. But it will make you stronger, smarter, and better. The fact is, you are always going to regret more the things you DIDN'T do, than the things you did. If you were told that you had one week to live, would that big house, fancy car, and pile of gadgets give you comfort? Would you be able to look your loved ones in the eyes and know that you gave them all wonderful memories to cherish long after you are gone?
Life IS short. I know this from experience. I never expected to have to say goodbye to my 18 year old son. He should have had his whole life ahead of him. We always think we have time. To make up for mistakes, to say I love you, to take that vacation, or to live out our dreams. But the reality is... we have no idea how much time we have.
Today really could be your last. So please.... make it count.

Car Guys vs. Car Douches

I spend a good deal of time in and around the automotive world, and one thing I learned early on, is that there are car guys and car douches. To the untrained eye, they might not be distinguishable, but if you know what to look for, you can certainly tell the difference.
While it's safe to say that some brands of vehicles certainly attract one or the other, that is not a surefire way to tell them apart. Although it is a good place to start. For instance, if a guy drives a super jacked up diesel truck, with ridiculously large tires, a freakishly loud exhaust, truck nuts, and a rebel flag anywhere in it or on it, it's a safe bet he's a douche bucket.
Here are a few other observations I've noticed about car douches:
If you buy all of your car mods from the local auto parts store (Look, more chrome trim pieces!) you are probably a car douche.
If you spend all day on internet forums reading about what everyone else is doing to their cars, shit talking about how much horsepower your last "mod" gave you, and "how fast it is on the strip"... you are most likely a car douche.
If you spend more time standing next to your car while it's parked, than driving it, you are probably a car douche.
If you back your car in every single time you park, even if it's just for a quick party store run (and it's not for a valid reason) you are probably a car douche.
If you have stickers for parts manufacturers on your car, and you don't actually have those parts on the car... you are probably a car douche.
If the first thing you ask another car guy is "What does it run?" Or "How much horsepower does it have?" odds are.... you're probably a car douche.
If you do a burnout from every stoplight, and try to "race" the other cars, even when they are clearly not participating.... you are most likely a car douche.
If you park 100 miles from every other car in a parking lot, and take up multiple spaces, you are probably a car douche.
If you have the most bad ass, fast, modified, wicked sick car, and you never once got your hands dirty working on it... you are probably a car douche.
If you have a windshield banner announcing the make or model of you car, and it's not for sponsorship reasons... you are probably a car douche.
If you have a personalized plate that insults another type of car (RICEEATR, V8LOL, etc.) you are probably a car douche.
Obviously, I could go on, but I think you get the idea. There are real automotive enthusiasts, and there are posers.
Real car guys appreciate a quality vehicle, regardless of the manufacturer. Real car guys worry less about horsepower, and more about drivability. Because real car guys know that it doesn't matter how much power your car has, if you can't put it to the ground and control it... it's useless. Real car guys get dirty working on their cars, and take pride in it, they don't just pay someone to do it. Real car guys don't memorize information, they learn it through hands on experience. Real car guys don't just talk cars, they actually drive them. Real car guys know where the best junk yards and salvage yards are, not just the location of the nearest Auto Zone.
And for the record... real car guys are a hell of a lot sexier than car douches.

I'm lucky enough to be married to a real car guy, and this is just one of our 4 wheeled babies.
                                            Photo credit: M.Campbell Photography

The Social Media Persona

If you have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. you know how hard people will try to put on a false façade. We have all seen the "happy couples" who post deep, meaningful things to each other's timelines, because apparently the other room was too far to walk to TELL THEM THAT. Or the Super Christians who think that the daily bible quote posts somehow make up for the 499 sins they committed throughout the remainder of the day. Or the "I'm so interesting!" people who insist on checking in everywhere. We get it, you work out. *slow clap* Now stop spamming my newsfeed with your GPS updates.
Whatever happened to just being yourself? When did it get so offensive to say what you think, or post an unedited picture? If your social media "friends" are truly your friends, do you really think they don't know how you are?
I mean, I get it. You don't want your grandma to know that you got shitfaced and danced on a table on Tuesday night. So maybe friending grandma wasn't the best idea. But remember, grandma was young once too. And what if she's just grateful camera phones and snapchat didn't exist in her day, and she got one helluva chuckle out of that post your friend tagged you in? What if being yourself created an open dialogue with the people in your life? Maybe if your sister knew you were really human, and made mistakes, she would stop trying to compete with you. Maybe if your father saw how happy you really were in the photos of you and your boyfriend, he would stop judging. Maybe if you stopped being fake on social media, you could make a real connection with someone.
Social media isn't real life. But it is a PART of real life. It's a place where many people find comfort, humor, friendship, and more.
But if you spend all of your time worrying about what you post, who might see it, how someone could react, and what people will think of you... why even bother? It is a fact that some people cannot handle social media. If you have those people in your life, and they have taken the fun out of it for you, remove them. It's that simple. If they get mad, just calmly explain to them that it isn't real life, but that it wasn't in the best interest of your relationship to remain on each other's social media. If they are still angry... well they obviously have deeper issues, and you're better off anyway.
My favorite people on social media are the ones who are real. Who share funny moments from their lives, poke fun at themselves, share things that matter to them, and enjoy connecting with others. If you have a Facebook account, and you spend hours on there trolling people's pages, but never post or comment... get off. You're a creeper. It's called SOCIAL media for a reason. If you aren't being social, you're doing it wrong. And don't think we don't know. We see that green dot next to your name, stalkers.
If there are people you don't want knowing your business, don't add them. Otherwise, who cares? Be yourself. Say what you want to say, don't apologize, and fucking enjoy it. That's the whole damn point.

The Beauty of Rain...

Rain... It really gets a bad rap. 
Ruins parades, brings sporting events to an abrupt halt, floods landscapes, and generally makes for a yucky day.
But does it? Personally, I rather like rain. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to start building an ark, but from time to time, rain is nice.
Is there really anything more peaceful than snuggling under the covers on a rainy night? Or a day spent with a good book, and the sound of rain on your roof? There was nothing better as a child than playing in the rain, splashing in puddles, and making mud pies. And to be honest, I still enjoy playing in puddles. But now I like to do it in my car.
Rain can be annoying, sure. Just ask any bride who's dealt with rain on her wedding day. (Even though it is considered good luck.) And who hasn't cursed the rain gods when an unexpected downpour leaves you looking like a drowned rat?
But without rain, we wouldn't have flowers, grass, and plants. Life as a whole would cease to exist. Rain fills our lakes and rivers that we love to spend hot summer days playing in. Rain feeds the gardens that we eat from. Rain washes away the dust and dirt from our homes and gives all the wild critters a bath. It allows us the opportunity to use our brightly colored umbrellas and galoshes. It gives us down time to stop, relax, and take a break from the fast paced lives we tend to lead. Rainy days stuck indoors created some of my favorite memories as a kid, and with my own family as an adult.
Rain is cleansing. To the earth, and to the soul.
You don't have to wait for the rainbow to appreciate the beauty of rain...

     "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Boobs vs. Balls

Women are generally considered the weaker sex. But whatever man decided that, was obviously an idiot.
As I sit here, I am currently being repeatedly punched in my ovaries by Mother Nature. Yup. Once a month, that bitch decides that women need a week to ten days to really hate themselves. I'll spare you the gory details, but let's just say The Red Curse is no one's friend. We get bloated, so nothing we own fits right. Add to that the fact that our hormones are currently waging a war with our brains & bodies, so we can't decide if we are sad, happy, horny, hungry, or angry. Oh, and did I mention the body aches, cramps, migraines, back pain, fatigue, and general unpleasantness of it all?
But a man gets the sniffles and you'd think it's the plague. We suffer all of this once a month, and don't even take a sick day. Weaker sex, my ass...
And while I personally have not carried a child and pushed it out of my nether bits, I think it's safe to say that it isn't 9 months of vacation followed by a vaginal massage.
Tell me again how annoying it is to have your balls stick to your leg when it's hot.
And while I am a big fan of the boobies, they aren't exactly easy to live with either. First of all, there's no winning when it comes to size. Too small, too big.... they both have their pros and cons. To be fair, I'm sure these same issues come into play when it comes to penises as well. But at least that is hidden in your pants, so you aren't being judged on it every single time you meet someone. There are only so many ways to hide breasts, and even in a turtleneck you can tell if she's rocking an A cup, or some DDs.
And if you do have some biggems, I hope you like sleeping on your back. Because unless you have holes in your mattress, sleeping on your stomach hasn't been an option since 9th grade. And if you think your back hurts after a long day, try hanging ten pound weights off your shoulders and see how it feels. Wanna go for a jog? Sure! Just let me zip tie these bad boys down and I'll be right with ya!
So maybe your average female can't bench press a Buick, and the occasional jar of pickles gives us a run for our money, but I certainly don't think we are weak.
You fellas may have balls of steel, but we have boobs of steel too, and don't you forget it.