Women are the biggest source of the problem. Yup, you read that right. In my opinion, we are our biggest enemies. Not the media, not men, not food. Us.
It's a well known fact that females are overly critical of other females. I know this because... Well, I am a female. We will be the first to judge another woman's outfit, job, hair, body, and attitude. Now don't get me wrong, we don't always do this in a negative way, but we still do it. Women are also notorious for comparing themselves to other women. We wish we had their hair, their shoes, their husbands/boyfriends, their boobs, and so on. We are inherently not satisfied with what we have, and so we assume what someone else has is better. But that's wrong. If you have curly hair, you probably wish it were straight. Well, I have straight hair, and I have tried every method in the book to get it curly. If you have big boobs, you wish they were smaller, if you have small boobs, you wish they were bigger. If you have curves, you think you're fat, if you are tall and thin, you must not look womanly enough. Does any of this sound familiar? As females, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect, and we often want to blame someone else for this, but is it really their fault? Yes, the media is filled with images of beautiful, flawless women. Because scary monsters don't sell jeans and luxury cars. Does this mean if you don't look exactly like those images, you are bad? Hardly. Does it say that anywhere in those ads? No. So whose fault is it that those images make us feel bad about ourselves? It's ours. WE make ourselves feel bad. Instead of looking at the woman in the ad, and seeing a beautiful model, we see all of our flaws. That's not the ad or the model's fault. That is inside of us. It is a model's job to be beautiful. And it is a photographer's job to make her look as flawless as possible. With the right lighting, editing, and hair & make-up... instant perfection. We KNOW this. Logically, we understand that NO ONE looks that perfect naturally. So why do we expect that from ourselves?
Ladies, I'm going to say something right now that you probably don't want to hear, but that doesn't make it any less true.
We, as a gender, are too sensitive and critical.
We need to stop reading so much into everything, and looking for the problem. If the gal in the Victoria's Secret catalog has a 4 inch thigh gap, and abs of steel, good for her. That's it. That doesn't mean YOU need to have that, and it certainly doesn't mean every man on Earth wants every woman to look like that. Don't believe me? Ask around. Talk to some men, and ask them what they find attractive. I think you'll be surprised. Men aren't NEARLY as critical of women as we are of ourselves. Just like not all women find Brad Pitt and Adam Levine to be perfect specimens, neither do all men find VS models and the Jennifer Anistons of the world to be. But you know what most men DO find unattractive? Self loathing, self pity, and hyper insecurities. While I know it is nice to feel beautiful, and to know that others find you sexy or attractive, it should be MUCH more important that YOU find yourself beautiful. If you are constantly doubting your own worth, then no amount of attention from the rest of the world can change that.
It's time that we as women, stopped blaming everyone else for our issues, and started being truly honest with ourselves. If you hate what you see in the mirror, it's not the fault of the media. If every ad started using plus sized models, all the skinny girls would feel bad about themselves. There is no pleasing everyone. It is absolutely impossible. The ONLY solution is to stop comparing yourself to others. We need to focus only on being the best versions of ourselves. Not the best version of someone else. Whether that means being happy and healthy as a size 2 or a size 20. Or being satisfied and proud of being a stay at home mom, or a working one. It means being able to look at another beautiful woman and think "Wow, she is beautiful." instead of "I wish I looked like her." It means being less judging of other females, and more accepting of ourselves. It means stop looking to blame someone else, and start looking to fix you. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Well... Behold, for you are beautiful.
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