Another Interview with Hank the Gnome

Hank the Gnome isn't a gnome of few words. As a matter of fact, he generally has quite a bit to say. If you aren't familiar with his ramblings, I mean wisdom, check him out on facebook by following this link. (just click here) But here at Berry Favorite Things, I like to check in with ol' Hank from time to time to see what's new in his world...

Berry Favorite Things: So Hank, how have you been since we last spoke?

Hank the Gnome: I imagine the correct answer should be GREAT, since otherwise, you look like an asshat for not checking in more often.

BFT: So has it been great?

Hank: It's been ok. The crazy lady I live with is getting a bit out of hand lately, though. She's taken to making me ridiculous costumes, and she brought a pet velociraptor for the weird bald guy for Christmas.

 This is Nikita (the dinosaur) and I in our latest ensemble. I mean look at how bizarre this is. Clearly I'm supposed to be Batman. I'm nobody's sidekick. But whatever, I'm just glad this beast is house trained and hasn't had me for a midnight snack yet.

BFT: Sounds like life has been interesting lately. How are the wife and kids?

Hank: Willow and the little ones are doing well. Though we've been debating moving soon. The place is getting a bit tight lately, with all the recent additions. I guess the crazy lady just can't say no to a homeless gnome. It's like a lawn ornament factory blew up in the place.

BFT: Well that's a good thing, right? She did adopt you after all.

Hank: What are you, her #1 fan? No, it's not a good thing. I liked being the only gnome. Now there are pointy hats everywhere, and a damn prehistoric drool machine wandering around. It's like she's running a damn zoo.

BFT: Well Hank, it sounds like you are a bit angry. Could it be because of the latest incident with some trolls?

Hank: Not cool, lady. Not. Cool. I thought I said I didn't want to discuss the troll incident.

BFT: But the readers want to know. Are you a trollist, Hank?

Hank: Yeah, I am ok?! I don't like them. They're nasty little rodents, and they've been giving wee creatures a bad name for centuries! I mean, put on some clothes, you indecent little bastards!! And get that mess of hair under control! Filthy little forest hippies...

BFT: I see... well I didn't mean to upset you, I just thought we should address it, but clearly this is a subject for another day. Let's talk about something else.

Hank: (deep breath) Good idea.

BFT: I hear you're going to Sno*Drift Rally this weekend with your people. That should be fun.

Hank: Yes, I really like rally. The people involved are all pretty cool, and always seem genuinely pleased to see me. I'm hoping to sit in some cool cars this time, if the crazy lady lets me out of this new contraption she discovered.

BFT: Oh my... Well that looks comfortable at least. And warm. I hear it will be very cold there.

Hank: It's pretty cozy, I'll give her that. Even if it does make her look even more wacky. Not that she seems to care.

BFT: That's probably a good thing. She sounds like a pretty cool person.

Hank: Geez lady, get off her jock. She's ok, but you don't have to go hyping her up. She's not THAT cool.

BFT: Well Hank, it looks like we are about out of time for today, but we'd love to have you back on again soon. It's always entertaining. Thanks for coming.

Hank: I'm happy to come back whenever. Maybe next time we can do a Q&A with some readers, since you are clearly terrible at this.

BFT: Umm, yeah, sure, I guess. And maybe next time you can be less of a salty crab pants, eh?

Hank: Touche. (tips hat) Always a pleasure.