While I don't consider myself a normal chick in many ways, I do (mostly) understand how the female mind works. So here are some things that I think more women wished men knew.
1. Farting is just not that funny. Seriously... your ass made noise, and now it smells like something died in the living room. HOW is that so hysterical? And while I'm on the subject, Dutch Ovens are NOT the way to turn your woman on in bed. And for those of us who have brothers, we had enough Cup a Farts to last a lifetime. Can we please grow up, guys?
2. Remember important dates. I mean come on. You aren't incapable of memorizing numbers when it comes to your fantasy football stats and the horsepower of every car known to man, so why is remembering a few dates so complicated? If you don't know your wife's birthday, your anniversary, and the dates your children were born.... at least be smart enough to put them in your Google calendar to remind you.
3. Clean up after yourself. Now I don't personally have this issue. My hubs is more OCD than I am, and that's saying something. But I often hear my girlfriends complaining about the messy men in their lives. We may love you, but we aren't your mother, or your maid, so if you make a mess, clean it up. If you take off dirty clothes, at the very least put them in the hamper. Rinsing your dishes and putting them in the dishwasher takes very little time, but saves your lady from having to nag you about it.
4. We have more than two erogenous zones. Shocking, I know. Women's bodies are sensitive in so many places, even some that you wouldn't normally think. (Backs of knees, wrists, etc.) And most women, while they might enjoy the "hot spots", they may get greater pleasure from other areas entirely. So kiss her neck and her shoulders, stroke her back and legs, massage her feet. Touch her and pay attention to how she reacts to those touches. And yes... you can still touch your favorite places, too.
5. We like it when you take charge. And I don't just mean in the bedroom. We love that you trust us to make decisions, but we don't always want to. If your wife/girlfriend asks you what you want for dinner, and you don't care. Just suggest something anyway. Because more than likely, if she's asking, it's because she doesn't care either. She is probably tired of deciding what to make day in and day out, so she just wants someone else to do it every now and again. The same goes for questions like "What do you want to do?" Just surprise us on occasion, and make a plan. Whether it's picking the movie, or the restaurant. We want you to have an opinion. And don't worry... if it's the wrong opinion, we'll surely let you know.
6. You can't fix everything. Sometimes when we are venting to you, we aren't asking you to do anything other than listen. This means don't offer advice, don't tell us "Well if you had just done what I told you to do, this wouldn't have happened." or anything else. Odds are, we already know that. Sometimes we just want you to listen, and really hear us. And sometimes... we just need a hug.
7. Hygiene is crucial. Women want a clean guy. Does this mean we don't ever expect you to get dirty? Hardly. In all honesty, a man getting dirty can be a real turn on. But if you are taking us out, don't show up in your dirty clothes, and smelling ripe. And before you get all "But I'm a MAN!" on me, I'm talking the basics. Shower, shave, trim your ear and nose hairs (seriously... if you can see them, so can everyone else) put on deodorant, and a touch of cologne. Keep your nails neat and trimmed, and for the love of everything holy, you should have TWO eyebrows. Get your shit together, fellas.
These are just some of the things women want men to know. Everyone is different though, so I'm sure you could ask any woman on the street and get a slew of other responses. When in doubt... just ask her. She may actually tell you.
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