What Growing Up Poor Taught Me

"Money doesn't grow on trees you know." A line most children from blue collar, working class families heard a time or two growing up. Or in my dad's case, it was "Want in one hand, sh*t in the other, and see which one fills up first." Slightly more colorful, but the same basic message applied.
I grew up in a relatively large family. Six kids (I'm the youngest.) and we had foster kids for many years as well. For the first 10 years of my life, we lived in a big old house that looked like a giant barn. Mostly because in its first life, it HAD been a giant barn. (Insert the "Were you born in a barn?" jokes here.) But despite its size, it was far from fancy. WE were far from fancy. My parents were the king and queen of stretching a buck. Frugal doesn't even begin to describe it. For all intents and purposes, we were poor. Not that I knew that at the time. I was well fed, well dressed, and happy. But looking back, I know the struggles my mom and dad went through to keep us that way. I remember quite a few "I'm sorry kids, Christmas just isn't going to be very good this year." talks, and more Leftover Casseroles than I can count. But Christmas morning would come, and we always had gifts to open. I never remember feeling disappointed. And to this day, Leftover Casseroles are some of my favorite foods.
Growing up in a paycheck to paycheck lifestyle taught me a lot about life. Lessons that I'm just not sure I would have learned if I had been born into a wealthy family. Lessons like these.

*Want vs. Need: Kids always want everything their friends have, and everything they see on TV. My siblings and I were no different. We'd drool over the Toys R Us Wishbook for hours and days. Circling our favorites, and giving my parents an endless list of reasons why we just couldn't live without those things. But we learned early on that what we wanted and what we needed were two very different things. We needed food, shelter, and clothing. We WANTED video games, expensive shoes, and new bikes. Sure, from time to time, my parents would surprise us, and we'd get something off of our want list. But more often than not, we made due with what we had. And you know what? We survived. And now, as an adult, I understand priorities. As much as I might want the 5000 sq. ft. house, I don't NEED that much space. Nor is it practical.

*Responsibility and Respect for Property: When you grow up poor, you understand that getting gifts and treats is a privilege, not a right. You know that while your bike might not be the fanciest one on the block, it does get you from point A to point B, and a new one isn't in the budget. So you take good care of it, because you want it to last. If we ripped our pants, they didn't get thrown away, they got fixed. Those jeans survived 3 kids, they can survive at least one more. We learned to respect what we had, because if we broke or ruined something, there was no guarantee we'd get another. We learned to appreciate things, and be responsible with them. To this day, I live that way. I drive a 1998 Subaru, and as far as I'm concerned, it's a Ferrari, and I treat it as such.

*Creativity: I always wanted a Barbie Dream House growing up. But that one was never in the budget. So I improvised. I turned my bedroom bookcase into Barbie's  Dream Apartment Complex. Complete with shoebox on a string elevator. My pink roller skates made the perfect convertible, and mom's giant Tupperware bowl was the ultimate swimming pool. My sister and her friends would find me doll furniture at garage/yard sales, and they made me doll clothes out of fabric scraps from Home Ec class. To this day, I believe I had the best dressed dolls around. When you aren't handed everything you think you "need", you learn to make due with what you have. That taught me creative thinking, and problem solving skills, that I use every single day.

*Hard Work, and the Value of a Dollar: I remember when I was a teenager, and I first really learned about name brand attire. Prior to that, I wouldn't have known K-Mart from Kate Spade. But suddenly, it mattered what you wore. So I wanted those brands too. Until my mom took me school shopping, and said that if I wanted those brands, I could only get 1-2 outfits. But if I got regular stuff, I could get so much more. Ummm... screw you, Z. Cavaricci, you are not THAT cool. And as I grew up, and had jobs, I rarely spent my money on name brands. I understood that paying for a name just wasn't worth it. When you have to work a month to pay for a pair of jeans, you start to rethink what's important. I still don't get the draw of a name. You'd be hard pressed to find anything name brand in my closet or home.

*Patience: When I was growing up, we didn't get toys and gifts all the time for no reason. We didn't go to the store with mom to get groceries and come home with new stuff. We didn't get treats just for doing our chores, being nice to our siblings, or acting right. Those things were just expected. Not rewarded. If you wanted a new video game or doll, you had to wait until your birthday, or Christmas. Which gave you plenty of time to decide if that was something you REALLY wanted. More often than not, that "hot new must have toy" was forgotten about by the following week. In this day and age of instant gratification, kids have never learned patience. We wonder why they have rooms full of toys they never play with. But when you are handed everything you want, as soon as you want it, the novelty wears off very quickly. If you have to earn it, or wait for it, suddenly... that item has a lot more value. "Good things come to those who wait." still holds true.

*Find Joy in Small Things: I think the most important lesson that growing up poor taught me, was to find happiness wherever you can. To enjoy the little moments, and to be grateful for what you have right now. I understand how to live within my means, and be perfectly happy there. I have no desire to keep up with the Joneses, and I'm not in competition with anyone. I understand that joy isn't in possessions, but within ourselves. I learned to appreciate the simple things in life, and I'll carry that with me always.