Why We Do What We Do

We are a motorsport family. My husband, Dan, comes from a long line of auto enthusiast men, and he passed that passion on to our son. Some of Zach's earliest memories were of helping his Dad out in the garage. Like most young men, that passion increased the older he got. Once he received his license, it was all downhill. I don't think the keys were in his hand yet, and he was making big plans for his car, and the future.
Many nights and weekends were spent in and under vehicles for my boys. The garage was our family playground. We probably spent more time there and in cars together, than anywhere else. It was while working on cars that we had most of life's big discussions. Sex, drugs, relationships, responsibility, and more. Wrenching on cars was more than just a hobby. It was a character building experience. It was a way for us to all bond. It was something we loved doing together. Our personal cars were our canvases. The way we showed the world who we were, and what made us happy. Dan was thrilled to see his son share in that love, and had begun teaching Zach the skills he would need to continue the tradition. Watching my boys working side by side, talking, laughing, and creating something together, warmed my heart like nothing else. Seeing the pride and smiles on their faces when they finished a project was a sight I never tired of.
We spent many hours discussing future plans, and my guys had some pretty grand ideas. Team Finn was on its way to doing some big things in motorsports. Or so we thought... 
Then every parent's worst nightmare happened. A knock on the door from a police officer informing us that our son had been in an accident and we needed to go to the hospital immediately.
From the moment we stepped into that hospital room, we knew nothing would ever be the same again.
We lost our only child. And with him, all of our plans and dreams of the future. We were utterly and completely lost.
What most people don't understand is that when your child dies, you die with them. Your shattered heart still beats, but it does so reluctantly. You survive on instinct alone.
We lost our son in a car accident. He wasn't drunk, driving recklessly, or speeding. He wasn't doing anything dangerous. It didn't involve any other vehicles, and it could have happened to anyone.
For a long time, it was impossible to think about doing anything in motorsports again. Even though the car wasn't to blame for Zach's accident, it was still connected. Every car became a reminder of the broken wreckage that held our child. It's difficult to separate those things. You can't just shut off a lifetime's worth of passion for something, but if anything comes close to hitting the off switch, that was it.
So we struggled. We tried to keep going, and we looked for things to be passionate about. But nothing worked.
Eventually, it became clear that the place we felt the deepest connection to our son was in the car. There was no denying it any longer. So after many long talks, and internal battles, we knew what we had to do. We had to carry on Team Finn's legacy. And we had to do it for Zach. Each breath we take now is for our son. Each laugh, each smile, each step forward, is for him. His spirit lives on in us, and we owe it to him to make his dreams a reality.
That began with rallycross. It was a way to figure out if we could do this. If we could carry on without Zach. It hasn't been easy, that's for sure. But when we are in the car, doing what we love to do, we feel him there. We know he is laughing and having a great time right along with us.
As Team Finn makes progress towards bigger and better things, it is a bittersweet journey. When we finally make it to stage rally, and I'm sitting in that co-driver seat, I'll know that it should be Zach there. That I'm just a place filler for him. With every moment of excitement and joy, there will be an equal moment of sadness and heartbreak for the missing member of Team Finn.
Dan & Zach had aspirations of entering numerous types of events. From rallies and hill climbs, to 24 hour races, like LeMons and ChumpCar. They wanted to experience as many varieties of motorsport as they could. Team Finn still hopes to accomplish those goals. Our team roles may have changed, but our destination is still the same.
So why do we do this when we know how great the risks are, even better than most?
Because we have to. We owe it to Zach, and we owe it to ourselves to keep these dreams alive. Each step we take towards making that happen is a step closer to our son. It makes us feel that much more connected to him, and for that.... we would go to the ends of the Earth.
If it takes every last penny we have, and every breath left in our bodies, we will see this through. Team Finn may be short one member, but we ride on. And his spirit and soul ride with us.
The road may not always be smooth, but we know one thing.... it leads us to our son, so we will follow it to the end...