A child's earliest examples of how couples interact, and what is acceptable behavior in a relationship come from seeing their parents together. Whether they realize it or not, they will most likely follow those examples later on, when choosing a partner.
This begs the question... What example are you setting? I often hear people in bad or unhappy relationships make excuses, and say things like "Well, we are staying together for the kids." and I can't help but wonder why. If you are unhappy in your relationship, why is it ok to subject your children to that? Do your kids not deserve to have the best possible version of you in their lives? Do they not deserve to see an example of a healthy, happy marriage? Do you think that they don't see and feel the anger, animosity and negativity?
And if you can "make it work" in the same home long enough for your children to grow, why can't you make it work apart?
Now I know that single parents and mixed families often get a bad rap, and I know it isn't always the ideal situation, but it CAN work. Many, many children grow up with step parents and suffer no adverse effects. It IS possible. Getting out of a bad relationship can teach your kids self respect, morals, the value of happiness, growth and more. Staying in a bad relationship can teach them how to accept less than they are worth, that love and happiness aren't worth seeking, how to settle, and that change is scary and impossible. What lessons would you rather your kids learn?
Seeing the most important people in your life happy, affectionate, sincere, trusting and genuine goes a long way in teaching children how to have those things themselves.
This leads me to my next point. If you are a single parent, you are still entitled to happiness. Does this mean putting YOUR happiness above the safety and well being of your children? No. But it does sometimes mean that your children may have to accept a change that they don't immediately want to. That's ok. They WILL get over it. Especially if that change shows them positive things. If they are used to a sad, angry, tired, depressed parent, and they see a more joyous, kind, energetic and loving version of you, they will start to see that change can be for the better.
And if you are a single parent, please... I beg of you, use good judgment when bringing new people into your child's life. Don't introduce them to every person you meet, and don't allow them to grow attached to someone, if you honestly don't see a future with that person. That is unfair to them. And will only cause you problems in the future. Be smart, choose wisely, and don't be in a hurry to find a new partner. But what is without a doubt, the most important thing you can do as a divorced or separated parent is to NEVER make your ex into the bad one. YOU chose to make children with that person, and those children are HALF of them as well, and they love mom AND dad. By telling them that their parent is a terrible person, you are also essentially telling them that they are a terrible person for being part of them and/or for loving them. Don't make them chose a favorite, and don't make them a pawn in some kind of game. Don't bad mouth your ex in front of, or to your kids. Don't make it uncomfortable for your children to be in the same place as both of you, for there will be MANY times in their lives that they will want or need you both there, and they should never be made to choose or feel torn. Don't talk cruelly about someone your ex is married to or dating, either. It is hard enough to be a step parent without mom or dad making it worse. Be as respectful and kind as possible, and do your best to create a situation that is positive for the kids. When split families can get along, and work well together, that is even more love and support in the child's life, and that is not a bad thing. You are no longer with your ex, so their flaws and faults are no longer your concern. And if they do affect you somehow, deal with it privately and leave the kids out of it.
I could go on and on about this topic, but I think you get the point.
Your relationships DO effect your children, and it is important to understand and accept that. Personally, I think it is something you should consider thoroughly BEFORE having kids with someone, but at the very least after. So if you love your kids, show them that you also love yourself enough to be genuinely happy, and teach them how to have good relationships.
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