Things I'd Rather Do Than Watch The World Cup

I don't follow soccer. Not even a little bit. I don't follow most any professional sports for that matter. I like motorsports, and I'll watch the Olympics. That's just about it for my level of interest. My craft game really picks up around the start of football season, and while everyone else jumps on the baseball bandwagon, I'm generally nose deep in a book.
So when all this World Cup hype started, I figured that I had maybe 5 soccer fans on my social media, and I could scroll past their updates easy peasy.
I was wrong. So, so wrong. And things really picked up after the attempted cannibalism began. So now I'm bombarded with endless updates and scores, memes and rants, and I just don't care. Facebook & Twitter should offer a temporary sports free filter option for times like this. I love my friends, and I try not to judge them on their tastes in entertainment, but it's hard. So very  hard. I look forward to when the World Cup is over, and I can get back to judging them on their terrible spelling and grammar.
But in the meantime, I thought that I would indulge you in just how much I don't care about soccer by offering you a list of things that I'd rather do than watch the World Cup.

1. Have my nether bits poked and probed. Come to think of it... I am overdue for my annual visit...

2. Watch paint dry. Oooooh.... look at the pretty colors.

3. Have my teeth cleaned. Well, to be fair, I rather enjoy the dentist. #CavityFreeBitches

4. Babysit the devil's spawn. "Let's play hide and burn, I mean seek, hide and seek!!"

5. Walk barefoot over a pile of LEGOS. That are on fire.

6. Taste test the mystery meat meal from a blind chef.

7. Cut the grass on a golf course. With left handed children's scissors.

8. Have awkward sex with anyone who makes their living as a puppeteer. While they are "in character".

9. Sit through a book club meeting of Twilight fans.

10. Drive a Camaro.

Ok, let's be honest.... I would NEVER do that last one, but you get the idea. Soccer isn't for me. And the only thing I'm looking forward to in the World Cup, is it ending.

Just Not Feeling It Today...

It's just not a good day. I realize it's not even noon, so maybe it seems a bit too early to judge an entire day, but that's exactly what I'm doing. Because I know that it probably won't get any better. More than likely, my mood will significantly worsen as the hours roll on. That's just how it works now. Grief is funny that way. Sometimes there are bad days, and you just can't fake it...
And sometimes you feel it coming. It starts in your body. The aches and pains of grief build and build, and you feel battered and beaten. What little sleep you normally might get is more fitful than usual, and filled with vivid dreams and nightmares. You wake up more exhausted than you fell asleep, and you struggle to get out of bed. Once you force yourself to get going, you find yourself in a fog. Your mind is scattered, and focus is almost impossible. You isolate yourself from people, because you know that you won't be very good at pretending to be normal or "ok", and you don't feel like explaining why you aren't, because no matter how hard they may try, most people just won't get it.
Days like today it feels like you are constantly being barraged with triggers. Every song, commercial, and image just rips at your broken heart, and reminds you that it will never heal.
Memories play on a loop through your mind, teasing you with moments that you will never get back, and tormenting you with guilt, yearning, and sorrow.
Simple tasks become mountains that you fight to conquer. You can't eat, and if you try, you feel nauseous.
You feel angry, annoyed, and impatient. With the world around you, and with yourself. You want nothing more than to hide away and hope for it to pass.
You want to give in to the darkness, because it is easier than fighting. But you can't. So you keep pushing forward. Step after step through the quicksand. Two steps forward, and three steps back.
This is Grief. This is the reality that follows a great loss.
Today is just not a good day...

In Response To...

Yesterday, my friend Wendy shared with me a blog post that I think would strike a nerve for many people. She clearly knew that I would have plenty to say in response to it, and she specifically requested I blog said response.
Normally, I wouldn't directly respond to another blog. As bloggers, we understand that what we write is basically a diary made public. We know that for every one person who appreciates what we say, there are hundreds more haters out there ready to send us nasty feedback. But after much thought, I've decided to honor Wendy's request, and respond to it. Not as a hater, but as someone with a very different perspective on the matter. For those of you curious, please take a few moments, and read the post to which I am referring.

(My Husband Doesn't Need To See Your Boobs)

Here is my response:

Dear Lauren,
It is obvious to me, and anyone who read your post, that you have some very deep seated insecurities. While I know that you stated very clearly that you weren't judging or hating, I can't help but feel as though that is exactly what you were doing. Albeit, wrapped in a polite manner, but judging none the less.
It is also incredibly obvious that you and your husband have some serious issues that you need to work out. I'd like to address some things about your post that I think you might benefit from seeing another perspective on.

"If I was skinny with rock-hard abs and legs from here to Mexico, I’d want to take lots of pictures of myself. Mostly naked. I would want to post them with a nice filter on Instagram, and share them with whoever might see."

What I hear when I read this is someone who is very unhappy/uncomfortable in their own skin. Someone with lifelong insecurities that is desperately trying to fit into some mold that she THINKS the world wants to see. Someone who is judging every female she sees, and comparing herself to them. Someone who has not truly accepted that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Someone who wishes that the rest of the women in the world would hide themselves in order to make HER feel better about herself. Are you suggesting that if you did look like the person you described, this post would not even be necessary? Because that is how it sounds.

"When I scroll through my news feed, my thumb moves in a continuous circular motion until something catches my eye and I want to look closer. And then I tap on the picture and make that little swipe with my thumb and pointer finger so I can zoom in just as close as I can to capture all the details.
I’m especially bad about this when there is a line of bathing suits in the pic. AND I’M A GIRL.
Mostly I’m looking at your legs asking myself, How are there seriously people without cellulite????"

Reading this, I can't help but first think that you should find a hobby, because you clearly have too much time on your hands. Zooming in on photos of female bodies to examine them for flaws says much more about your character than it does about the character of the females in question. If you see a photo of an attractive young woman in a swimsuit or scantily clad outfit, and you can't keep from zooming in and "capturing all the details" the problem in this scenario is you. Not the girls in the photos.

"After Memorial Day, I noticed so much skin on social media that I half-yelled a warning to him as I ran out the door one morning. It’s summertime, honey! Beware the beach pics and half nude girls on Instagram! And like that, he was in solitary confinement from all virtual community for the next two days."

All I can say to this is wow. So basically your husband has so little self control that you have to preview the internet for him to warn him if it is safe for his eyes. You do realize how insane that sounds, right? We live in a world bombarded with images of sex and sensuality. TV, movies, magazines, books, etc. Like it or not, that is the time that we exist in. If your husband is so weak that he cannot even see an image of bare skin without it creating a problem in your marriage, you should really reconsider your relationship. Do you have so little faith and trust in him that you feel compelled to shelter him from reality?
And if so, do you really think that will work forever?
Here's the harsh truth:

The world doesn't revolve around you and your insecurities. Like it or not, women will continue to dress exactly how they want and how they are comfortable. Your husbands ability (or lack thereof) to "protect his eyes" and your lack of self esteem, isn't and shouldn't be their concern. I am a 35 year old woman, and I have been known to wear a low cut top from time to time. Does doing so attract some looks? Sure. Is that why I do it? No. I do it because that's what I like to wear, and it's flattering to my shape. I have never once put on an outfit with the intention of ruining someone's marriage. And I think I can speak for most women when I say that neither have they. That 22 year old, with the hard earned rocking body, shouldn't feel guilty about running around on the beach in her bikini just because you might have stretch marks and extra pounds, or a husband with a wandering eye. Unless they are motorboating him, what women do with their boobs is their business, not your husband's. Or yours.
Sincerely,
Teena

Making Dandelion Oil

 

If you follow me on Facebook (Berry Favorite Things) you know that I've recently tried my hand at making my own essential oil.

After reading about the endless benefits of dandelion oil, and then seeing the outrageous cost to purchase it, I decided to give it a go and make my own. My expectations weren't high. I'm not a hippie. While I've used various essential oils for many years, and am a big fan, it never even dawned on me that I could make my own. Turns out, it's relatively easy to do, and absolutely no skill is required. This is my process. Though I strongly suggest doing your research, and deciding for yourself which method works best for you.

Step 1:
The first step in making your dandelion oil is picking your dandelions. Since I live in an apartment, and they spray for weeds, this wasn't an option at my home. So I put out a request to friends and family (asked who had a yard full, and didn't spray or have outdoor pets) and was bombarded with helpful and generous offers to de-weed people's lawns.

 

My friend Holly lived close, and had plenty, and a willing child to assist in the picking. (Thanks, Hailey!) When you are picking your dandelions, you should know that each part of the plant (flower, stems, leaves and root) each have their own unique benefits. I wanted more of the flowers, but I did toss in several stems as well. Once you pick them, I strongly suggest laying them out somewhere to dry for a day or two. The flowers hold a great deal of moisture, which can ruin a good oil. (This also allows a chance for all the tiny bugs living in them to escape. Lol)

Step 2:
Once your dandelions have dried out some, you should place them in a glass jar. Now, here's the curious part. In order to make oil, you'll need to add oil. Sounds weird, right? I know, but trust me on this. You'll need to select a carrier oil. (If you aren't familiar with carrier oils, do some research into them, and choose one that works best for you.) I opted for Almond oil, because I am a big fan of it, it's reasonably priced, very light in fragrance, and one I always have around. If you have a nut allergy, you'll want to use a different carrier oil. (Olive, Jojoba, Avocado, Grape Seed, Sunflower, etc.)

Pour your carrier oil over your dandelions, until they are well covered. Now here is where you'll have wanted to do your research. Some things I read suggest sealing your jar tightly, and others said to cover with a breathable material. I opted for the latter. (I used a coffee filter, but you could also use cheesecloth or something similar.) There are also multiple schools of thought on the best process for making the oil. Some called for heating the oil on the stove for several hours, while others suggested sitting the jar in the sun for several days to weeks. Again, I chose the latter here. Oil making has been going on since well before the invention of the stove, so I figured natural sunlight was my better option. This also allowed for less chance of over heating and ruining my oil. (I called this the idiot proof method.) I set my jar in the window that received the most light for a little over 2 weeks. On days when it was extra sunny, I set the jar outside directly in the sunlight for several hours as well. After multiple days, you'll start to notice your oil is taking on a pretty yellow color. This golden color will grow richer the longer the flowers are in the oil. I did check it a few times along this process for smell, just to be sure it hadn't gone rancid. (This can happen if there is too much heat, moisture, etc.)

Step 3:
This is the final step. Once you are satisfied that your flowers & oil have been soaking for long enough, you will need to strain your oil to remove all the flowers and floaters. Once again, I opted to use coffee filters for this. I placed a filter over a clean and dry jar, and poured the oil over it a little at a time. If you prefer, you could do the straining in multiple steps, and strain over a mesh screen to remove the larger debris, then follow up with a cheesecloth or filtered strain to remove anything left. Honestly, time wise, it would work out to be about the same either way.

This is my finished oil. It looks oddly like a jar of urine, but I assure you, it is indeed dandelion oil. It has a very light fragrance, not unpleasant, but not necessarily one that I would wear as a perfume either. You can use this as is, or mix it with other oils and products for a variety of benefits. I plan to make balms and salves with mine, incorporating other essential oils with it as well.

This was my first batch of balm. I used a blend of natural beeswax, coconut oil, dandelion oil, and a citrus oil blend. While I still need to work out my measurements to achieve the proper texture, I am very pleased with the results. My next batch will be a softer salve mixture with eucalyptus, lavender, etc. for a relaxing and soothing muscle rub.
All in all, I am pleasantly surprised by the ease of this process, and will definitely be making more of my own essential oils in the future. I would love to attempt some herbal oils (sage, rosemary, thyme, etc.) using fresh garden herbs, so if you have some in your garden that you can spare, please let me know. :)

Single? Read This.

I have a lot of single friends. And I often see and hear them complain about how hard it is to be single, especially the females. Then I look around at my single male friends and I'm utterly confused. Without even trying, I can think of at least 8-10 guys that I know right now who are incredible catches.
Good looking, hard working, independent, funny, smart, etc. To be honest, if I was single, I'd date them, and I'd date them hard. So why are they still single? Mostly because women are a pain in the ass. Yeah, yeah... bring on the hate. But it's true, and we all know it. Most females (no, not all) are nearly impossible to please. They say they want certain things in a partner, yet they consistently turn away men with those exact things. Why? Because women want what they can't have. If a guy has a good job, hobbies, and a decent social life, a girl will complain he's "too busy" and "doesn't have enough time for her". So they choose to date some unemployed shlub who lives in his parent's house, and then proceed to complain about what a broke ass bum he is. Yeah. Makes perfect sense. (Insert major eye roll here.)
I hear single women all the time reciting these lists of demands that they expect from a man, and I want to laugh. Are you making this man in a laboratory? If not, you better get a clue. You don't get to hand pick the perfect, flawless individual. Odds are, even if that person did exist, you'd hate them for being too perfect anyway. Finding someone to share your life with isn't about checking off a list of demands. It's about being open to a connection. It's about getting to know someone on a deeper level. If you are constantly looking for Channing Tatum to walk through the door, you are missing out on a plethora of pretty great guys. Yes, attraction IS important, but attraction can be found in many ways. You know that guy at the office, who seems kinda dorky, until you get to know him, then you find yourself suddenly attracted to him? Yeah, that happens. But not if you never bother to get to know someone.
And ladies... knock it off with this "he better treat me like a queen" bullshit. You know who gets treated like a queen? The fucking queen. That's it. The rest of us are responsible for cleaning our own toilets, going to work, and being responsible for ourselves. If a man holds doors for you, treats you to dinner, or buys you gifts.... be grateful. That is not an obligation, that is him being incredibly kind, and you better freaking return the favor.
Women need to stop living in fairytale land. You are not Cinderella, and he is not Prince Charming. If you want a good, healthy, happy relationship that will stand the test of time, start being realistic. Stop putting every decent guy in "the friend zone" as though they aren't good enough to date you. Stop blaming every guy for some loser's bad behavior. Get over it, and move on. He isn't your ex, so he shouldn't be punished for the last guy's mistakes. And if you keep repeatedly dating assholes... maybe the problem is you, drama queen.
Good men are out there. And odds are, you know several. But you've dismissed them because they don't fit some romantic comedy, Disney princess world you think you live in. So if you're sick of being single... then stop being stupid. Open your eyes, and pay attention. That super nice guy who always makes you laugh, listens to you bitch about men, and knows all your favorite things.... maybe he should be more than just your Plan B.

*Disclaimer: Before you insist on telling me how wrong I am... Save yourself the mental anguish. I'm sure you are a perfectly lovely young woman, and the only reason you are single is because A) all men are jerks B) you choose to be C) you are focusing on your career/children/self or D) all of the above.

Embrace Your Inner Bitch

Bitch. By definition, it means a female dog. But over the years, it has evolved into an insult to women. At least it's supposed to be. But personally, I don't think it is. I get called a bitch often. In high school, it became such a joke, my friends bought me jewelry with the word on it. And I wore it proudly, I might add.
I'm not ashamed to be a bitch. It is a part of my personality that I have accepted and am perfectly ok with. And to be honest, I think more women should not only accept their bitchiness, but embrace it.
Let me elaborate....
You know when I get called a bitch the most often? When I am being honest. That's right, if you say it like it is, and don't sugar coat things, people call you a bitch. Because apparently, women are only supposed to say sweet, nice, non controversial things. Well fuck that. I may be a lady, but I am not a Stepford wife. I have opinions and feelings, and on occasion, I may wish to share them. You don't have to agree, or like it. That's up to you. But my choice to speak up is my own.
You know when else I get called a bitch? When I'm being sarcastic. Because once again, it's not "acceptable" for a female to joke around, and be sassy without being considered a bitch. Well that's a damn shame. Because I have a very snarky sense of humor, and just because some people are overly sensitive, or lacking in personality, I'm not going to feel bad.
I also get called a bitch for saying no. I guess women are always just supposed to smile and agree with everything. Well not in my world. I love the word NO. I use it often. And the worst part... I don't even feel guilty about it. Nope, not even a little. Agreeing with everything doesn't make you "nice", it makes you a doormat. You can be a good person, and say no from time to time. And you don't even need a reason. Sometimes we just want to say no, and that's perfectly ok.
I'm also a bitch for knowing my limits. For knowing when to say when, when to walk away, when to forgive, and when not to. Sometimes in life, we have to put ourselves first. And if that makes you a bitch, oh well. The reality is, you can't and won't please everyone. No matter how hard you try. You will merely succeed in destroying your own peace of mind in the process. Give yourself value. Be a bitch. You deserve it.
Oh, and let's not forget about how bitchy it is to be assertive. If a woman takes the lead, and is good at it, she's a bossy bitch. If a man does it, he's a leader. Here's the truth: some people are just better at some things. Period. There's no shame in that. Everyone has their skills, and if yours is taking control, and getting the job done, you own that shit. When things get done well and go smoothly, you can thank your inner bitch.
Women are called bitches for so many things, and the majority of them are things that they should be proud of. Being strong, independent, mature, honest, funny, determined, and REAL shouldn't be anything to be ashamed of.

If I Had An Advice Column

People often ask me for my advice on things. I'm not sure if it's with the intention of listening, or doing the opposite, but I'm flattered just the same. I'm far from a role model. But I am brutally honest, so there is that. If you appreciate that sort of thing. If you don't... well then, I'm probably not the right person to talk to.
Anywho, the point is, I'm not exactly qualified to offer advice. But I don't let that stop me. Most of the time the "professionals" like to sugar coat things too much, and that's just not my style.
So today, for your entertainment, I'm offering up my relationship advice. Just to save the haters the trouble, I'll include this disclaimer: I'm not an expert. I AM in a very happy 16+ year relationship though, so take from this what you will.

1. Commitment should not equate giving up. I see this all the time, and rarely with positive results. Just because you've landed your partner, doesn't mean your job is done. You don't get to stop trying now. Yes, it's ok for him to see you without your make-up from time to time, but that doesn't mean that you quit exercising, and live in sweat pants for the remainder of your life either. Look in the mirror. Ask yourself honestly: Would YOU want to have sex with that? If the answer is no, than odds are, your partner doesn't want to either. If you get yourself all done up when you go out, but never for the person you share your life with... that's a problem. Our spouses are the people we should most want to impress. Yet so often, they get the short end of the stick.

2. Jealousy will get you nowhere. It's called the green headed monster for a reason. Because it's not pretty. If you can't and don't trust the person you are with... then you shouldn't be with them. Period. There are no exceptions to this. If you have to stalk your partners social media, check their phone, and constantly question what they're doing, you need to get help. The problem isn't with them, it's with you. Because that means that either A) you've found a reason to be mistrustful, so you shouldn't be with them anyway, or B) you are a psycho jealous person, and are going to push them away with your craziness. Trust is absolutely key in a good, healthy relationship. Without that, you have nothing.

3. Who cares if they look? This goes along with #2 fairly well. I see and hear so many couples fight over their partner looking at or talking to a member of the opposite sex. And God forbid they say they think that person is attractive. (Insert the fires of Hell here) That is so ignorant. It is absolutely normal and natural to appreciate beauty in all its forms. Why is it ok for someone to say they'd sleep with a celebrity if they had the chance, but not the guy or girl next door? Is it because we see celebrities as unattainable, so that makes it ok? If you see a woman with a cute baby, do you automatically want to steal that baby? Or a guy with an adorable little puppy. Do you immediately snatch that puppy? Of course not! You know why? Because that would be stupid. And so is the idea that every person your partner looks at is a threat to you. Being in a committed relationship does not make us stop appreciating attractive people. It doesn't even make us automatically shut off the part of ourselves that flirts and appreciates compliments. The occasional ego boost can be perfectly harmless and even healthy.

4. Do you talk to your partner like you talk to your friends? When you get together with your friends, what do you talk about? Would you have that same conversation with your partner? If the answer is no, why not? Aren't our partners supposed to be our friends too? If you can't share all the things that are on your mind, INCLUDING complaints about each other, with your spouse, then you will constantly be looking to fill that void somewhere else. This leads to the couples I see with totally separate lives. Some time apart is a good thing, and healthy, but if you cannot also enjoy time alone together... that is a problem.

5. Are you still the same person you were before you got married/committed? Are your hobbies the same? Do you still practice the same religion? Do you still maintain friendships that predated your relationship? If you answered no to any of those, ask yourself why. Oftentimes when we are in a long term relationship, we find ourselves changing to accommodate the other person. That's totally normal, and you should do that to some extent. But if you are becoming someone else entirely, that is a problem. I've never liked the popular wedding quote about two people becoming one. Because in my eyes, I can't help but think someone has gone missing. Joining your life with someone else's doesn't mean that you cease to exist. If you like baseball, and your partner prefers basketball, it's fine if you buy a Pistons jersey and start attending games. But if you have to give up the Tigers in order to do it... that's a problem. Couples should try to enjoy each others hobbies, and take an interest in the things their partners appreciate. Not expect one or the other to sacrifice what makes them who they are.

6. Making sex a priority. This is something that I cannot stress enough. Sex is so much more important in a healthy relationship than people give it credit for. Not only is it important for bonding and intimacy, but it's also great for your mental and physical health, self esteem, and more. It is a fact that couples who have sex regularly are happier and healthier overall. There have been countless scientific studies proving this. I hate when I hear couples make excuses for why they aren't having sex. If you have time to watch TV, play on the computer, and bake a cake... you have time for sex. And having kids is not an excuse either. I personally think couples who have kids should have sex even more often. Sex is a natural stress reliever, pain killer, mood lifter, and what parent doesn't need that? And regular sex helps couples stay closer, which has countless benefits for kids. Parents are the first and most important example of relationships that children see. If your kids see happy, affectionate, loving parents, they too will seek out that type of a connection when they grow up. If they see distant, cold, angry parents, that is what they will assume is normal & healthy. Not to mention couples that are closer and more intimate will most likely have better communication and a stronger bond. This comes in handy when raising children, since you should both be on the same team. So have sex. As much as possible. Seriously... just do it.

Ok, so I could go on and on, but then this would be too long, and no one would read it. The point is, there is no such thing as a perfect couple. And what works for one couple may not work for another. But that doesn't mean that some things aren't just basic common sense. Trust, communication, intimacy... those are crucial. Without those things... a relationship just cannot last. At least not happily.
**If you want my advice on relationships, or anything else, please don't hesitate to contact me, and I'll gladly assist in any way I can. ;)

The Love of a Father

Father's Day is coming up this weekend. Yet another painful time for grieving parents...
I know how much it hurts Dan to see and hear all the commercials and reminders. I know that the only gift he could ever want is one that he will never, ever receive. Having his son back.
Our son took special pride in finding his dad the best gift every year. He spent weeks and sometimes months deciding on the perfect present. How he managed to wait until the actual day, I'll never know, since his excitement was palpable. But wait he did. And then on Father's Day, he would proudly hand that gift over, and watch with wide eyes as his dad opened it. I watched the change from youthful exuberance, to genuine pride as Zach grew older, and began making the purchases with his own money. And I saw the joy and respect in Dan's eyes, as he examined his treasures. It wasn't just about the gifts. It was about seeing his son grow into a caring, selfless, generous young man. It was about knowing that he beat the odds. That after years of hearing all the negative talk about the children of teenage parents, here was this amazing kid that he had raised. An honor roll student. A hard working, kind hearted, respectful individual. A funny, sweet, honest, and compassionate soul. THAT was the best gift of all.
And the most bittersweet...
Zach left us at the tender age of 18. We were just starting to see glimpses of the man he would become. We'll always wonder who he would be today. We'll mourn for not only the loss of our child, but also the man he could have been. The husband, the father, the grandfather, the friend.
But Zach also left behind a legacy. One of kindness. One of generosity. One of humor and light. And that will always remain. No tragic accident could ever steal that. The memories he made, and the happiness he created cannot ever be taken away.
And neither can the love of a father.
When we lost Zach, we lost a part of ourselves that we can never get back. That is a wound that time can never heal. But we also found strength we never knew we had. And an inspiration in the light of the brightest soul to ever have graced this world. And with that inspiration, a father is proving his love. He is carrying on a dream that he shared with his son. Team Finn exists because of that. The courage and tenacity to keep moving forward is the greatest sign of love I've ever seen.
This Father's Day, I know Zach will be smiling with pride as he sees what his dad has accomplished. I know that my son's spirit lives on in everyone who ever knew him, but it is by far the strongest in the man who shares his eyes, and his smile. In the man who is determined to show his son that he will never forget, and never give up. In the father who will love his son for all eternity.  
That spirit, that light. THAT is Zach's gift to his dad. This year... and always.

(Father & son)

My Summer Wish List

I love summer. No really... I LOVE it. Long days, blue skies, and life blooming everywhere. The smell of fresh cut grass, the feel of sand between my toes, and the sounds of happy children out of school. Does it really get any better?
This summer, I want to enjoy it as much as possible. I say it every year, and then somehow life gets in the way, and before you know it... it's winter again. But I am bound and determined this time. And to prove it, I am writing a list of things I want to do before it's too late. Before the days get short, and the weather gets cold. So here it is...

My Summer Wish List 2014:

1. Go camping. I want to go at least a handful of times. And I don't just mean sleep in my tent. I mean the whole caboodle. Cooking over a fire, kayaking, hiking, napping in a hammock, etc. A few long weekends in beautiful locations.

2. Take the Hubs to Mackinac Island. He's never been, and I've only been once, many moons ago. I want to ride our bikes around the entire island, and gorge ourselves on taffy and fudge.

3. Go to the beach. I want to spend way too many hours floating on the water. I want to have bizarre tan lines that I can't explain, and find sand in places that it doesn't belong.

4. Go to fairs/carnivals. I want to win gigantic ridiculous stuffed animals playing stupid games. I want to ride spinning things, and bumper cars, and beautiful carousels. I want to eat corndogs, elephant ears, and cotton candy until I feel sick.

5. Watch at least one good firework show. I want to lay on a blanket, and watch the colorful explosions of light fill the night sky. I want to oooh and ahhh, and clap at the finale. I want to wear glow bracelets, and burn an entire box of sparklers.

6. BBQ with friends & family. I want to eat meat slathered in sauces, and cooked over an open flame. I want to eat pasta salads, potato salads, and fruits & veggies fresh out of the garden. I want to toss a Frisbee around, play catch, and chase my nieces and nephews.

7. Have a huge water fight. I want to fill bathtubs, sinks, and buckets with water balloons and launch them at people. I want to buy the biggest squirt gun I can find, and pretend I'm a water assassin.

8. I want to make & test glow in the dark bubbles. And try to get proof of said experiment on camera.

9. I want to spend at least a few hours a week on our patio, instead of on the sofa. Enjoying the sights and sounds of the world around us. Eat dinner out there, read books, etc.

10. I want to take a road trip to somewhere random, and make a bunch of silly stops along the way. Eat at oddly names restaurants, stop at lookouts, buy a t-shirt from a tourist shop. Make the trip as much (if not more) fun as the destination.

This is my wish list for the next several months. Think I can do them all? ;)

Real Talk: Be Yourself

Hipster. Tomboy. Princess. Nerd. These are all labels. Labels that people insist on using to try to narrow down individuals, and fit them into some predesigned category. Why? What if I want to be a princess AND a tomboy? I don't like labels. I don't like the idea of taking a whole person, and expecting one word to totally describe them. You know what one word I'd use to describe myself? Me. Yup, that's it. I'm not just one thing. I'm a plethora of things. It depends on my mood, and the day, what I'm doing, where I'm going, etc. At any given time, you could find me cleaning the toilet whilst wearing a sparkly tiara, or riding shotgun in a rally car, sporting a helmet with a pink shocker sticker on it. I could be in heels or cowboy boots. There could be dirt or grease under my pretty manicure. I could be quietly reading in the corner, or laughing it up with the life of the party. I'm not just one thing, so quit trying to label me that way.
And my friends are just as diverse. Because I don't choose friends based on any one characteristic. Their religion, race, sex, hobbies, and clothing choices are merely parts of who they are. If you treat me with kindness, respect, and make me laugh... chances are, we're going to be friends.
Humans are so quick to judge, that they struggle to get past appearances. If you don't look a certain way, you must not BE a certain way. And if we do make it past the outer package, we tend to get hung up on bits & pieces of a person's makeup. We focus on one single part of who they are, and never move beyond that. We want to lump everyone into categories, so that it's easier for us to decide who we want to surround ourselves with. Like shopping for relationships in a supermarket.
What would happen if you were blindfolded, and locked in a room with 10 people and forced to actually get to know them? I bet you'd be amazed at what you discovered.
I'm so tired of hearing things like "All gay people are..." or "All Christians are..." or "All Democrats are..." and so on and so on. You know what ALL gay people are? Gay. That's it. People cannot be solely defined by one single characteristic. How you could choose to like or dislike someone based on only one thing is insane to me. People are made up of an endless variety of attributes. To try to force all of those things into one boring label makes about as much sense as trying to milk a rock.
And for all those lost souls out there trying so hard to FIT into one of those boring labels... STOP IT! Don't be ashamed of being all the weird and wonderful things you are. Don't let someone else's idea of "cool" or "uncool" define you. You know what's truly cool? Being yourself, and being proud of it. If you're a rockstar who enjoys Star Wars, or a tomboy who secretly wears glitter toenail polish... own it. Don't be ashamed to step out of the label that you've been placed in. And if the world is so hell bent on putting you in a single category... create your own. As for me... I'm going with RedneckPrincessGeekUnicorn. I think that just about covers it. ;)

 

(Just a few of my many colorful sides.)

My Weekend At STPR 2014

I apologize for my absence, I'm sure you were all chomping at the bit waiting for my return. Well... I'm back.
It was a crazy weekend of rally in Wellsboro, PA (at STPR) full of lots of highs and a few lows. But I'm happy to say that we had a GREAT time. Big thanks to our friends Donnie & Amber for hosting us, and to their small blond child, Audrey, for keeping us plenty entertained the entire time. Also big congratulations to Donnie & Amber on their engagement, which I was honored to witness. I can now cross "witness a proposal" off my bucket list. It was very sweet, and they are two amazing people who I am so grateful found one another. I wish I had a photo of the stunning rock, because DAYUM, it was gorgeous. But I do have the romantic moment captured.

 

(above left is the proposal & bottom right is the "after" moment)

 

 



Just look at those smiles. Very happy for these two, and I know the future holds all the best for them.

So, I mentioned some lows. STPR is known as a "car killer" and this year's event left no doubt in anyone's mind on that fact. I don't think too many cars left there unscathed, and many left in severely rough shape. We had some big scares, which included a substantial off from team TAG Rally Sport, and being as there was little cell phone service in the area, it was awhile before we knew the status of our friends Tracey & Tabitha. After a trip to the local hospital to be checked out, they left with some bumps and bruises, but all in all safe and sound.

 

Here are the girls at the start of Day 1. All smiles, being silly with Hank the Gnome. So glad these two are ok. Wish I could say the same for their car, but hopefully Jellybean can be fixed and make a triumphant return soon.

We had a few other scares as well.

 

 

Our friend Gary of V8 Rally Ranger had a major off, also, and I am heartbroken to say that his truck did not fair as well as its passengers. But the guys are safe, and that's the most important thing. Fingers crossed we see the rally truck back in action sooner than later, as it is definitely a crowd pleaser.

 

 

Our buddies, Matt & Ian also had an off, though minor, it still kept them from finishing the race on Day 2. But the Honda is still solid, and ready for another go. Sad to see them DNF, but once again grateful for the safety equipment that protected them.

 

 

Our pal, Jeff (31 Motorsports) was kicking some butt, until he too had a pretty bad off. Jeff seems to enjoy having the car on its roof, but we hope he gets that out of his system soon. ;) He did end up with a trophy for Day 1, so congrats on that.

 

 

Happy to say that the Shark Attack car driven/co-driven by Ryan & Steven did awesome. Not only did they have easily the best jump of the event (Have you ever seen a shark fly? I have.) but they left with some trophies too. Great job, guys.

 

 

 

The Flying Frog car, piloted by Brian, and co-piloted by Amber, had a rough weekend as well. Luckily only a very minor off, but the car just wasn't performing at its best this event. Hopefully Brian can get Kermit fixed up right, and ready to kick some ass by the next event.

The quiet troopers, Alex & Chris made us all proud this weekend, by doing awesome. Trophies for both days, and a relatively unscathed car. Glad to have met these guys, and give them a hand with their car. Congrats, boys.

 

From close calls, to double rainbows, this event had it all. I could spend days writing about it. It was our first time out at STPR, and it certainly did not disappoint. As always, we had a great time seeing all of our old friends, and making lots of new ones. The rally community is an incredible group of people, and we are honored to be even a small part of it. So proud of all the competitors, crew, volunteers, and spectators. They all made it an awesome event, and I am already looking forward to next year.