10 Things That Make Me Feel Violent

You know those moments, when suddenly something happens, and you feel your inner Hulk start rising to the surface? Those offenses that don't just annoy or irritate you, but make you question if your spork could be used as a deadly weapon. Yeah, we all have them. 
Here is a list of 10 things that make me feel murderish...

1. When grown ass people say birfday, libary, pacific (instead of specific) Valentime's Day, and I seen.

2. When people pull out directly in front of me, forcing me to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting them, and then go insanely slow. And there was NO ONE behind me. 

3. The sounds of people chewing, or just general mouth noises. 

4. The word 'Moist'. (cringe)

5. When I see people throw garbage out of their cars while driving. 

6. When I see/hear kids behaving terribly in public, affecting people around them, and the parents act totally oblivious. 

7. When people post/repost things to social media without doing proper research first. 

8. The song "Happy" by Pharrell Williams. 

9. When I'm watching my favorite show, and it gets interrupted by Breaking News about something that isn't breaking or newsworthy, and I end up missing crucial plot twists. 

10. When you are actually trying to do something important on your phone/tablet/computer, and it picks that time to work like total balls. 

Things I'd Rather Do Than Watch The World Cup

I don't follow soccer. Not even a little bit. I don't follow most any professional sports for that matter. I like motorsports, and I'll watch the Olympics. That's just about it for my level of interest. My craft game really picks up around the start of football season, and while everyone else jumps on the baseball bandwagon, I'm generally nose deep in a book.
So when all this World Cup hype started, I figured that I had maybe 5 soccer fans on my social media, and I could scroll past their updates easy peasy.
I was wrong. So, so wrong. And things really picked up after the attempted cannibalism began. So now I'm bombarded with endless updates and scores, memes and rants, and I just don't care. Facebook & Twitter should offer a temporary sports free filter option for times like this. I love my friends, and I try not to judge them on their tastes in entertainment, but it's hard. So very  hard. I look forward to when the World Cup is over, and I can get back to judging them on their terrible spelling and grammar.
But in the meantime, I thought that I would indulge you in just how much I don't care about soccer by offering you a list of things that I'd rather do than watch the World Cup.

1. Have my nether bits poked and probed. Come to think of it... I am overdue for my annual visit...

2. Watch paint dry. Oooooh.... look at the pretty colors.

3. Have my teeth cleaned. Well, to be fair, I rather enjoy the dentist. #CavityFreeBitches

4. Babysit the devil's spawn. "Let's play hide and burn, I mean seek, hide and seek!!"

5. Walk barefoot over a pile of LEGOS. That are on fire.

6. Taste test the mystery meat meal from a blind chef.

7. Cut the grass on a golf course. With left handed children's scissors.

8. Have awkward sex with anyone who makes their living as a puppeteer. While they are "in character".

9. Sit through a book club meeting of Twilight fans.

10. Drive a Camaro.

Ok, let's be honest.... I would NEVER do that last one, but you get the idea. Soccer isn't for me. And the only thing I'm looking forward to in the World Cup, is it ending.

Things I Love

It's Valentine's Day. Today's theme is love. L. O. V. E. In the spirit of this, I shall give you a list of 69 (random numerical selection, I assure you) various things that I adore. This is in no specific order. Enjoy.

1. Cotton Candy
2. High Heels
3. Strawberry Everything
4. Gnomes
5. Rubber Duckies
6. Fairies
7. Old Keys
8. Messages/Signs from my Son
9. Four Leaf Clovers
10. Shiner Bock Beer
11. My Hubs' Perfect Ass
12. Rally
13. Cars (Especially Maggie, my Subaru Wagon)
14. Sex
15. Sex (it seemed worthy of 2 spots)
16. The Smell of Lilacs
17. Blowing Bubbles
18. Glitter
19. Crafts
20. Skittles & StarBurst
21. Superman Ice Cream
22. Super Shiny Lipgloss
23. Tiny Versions of Things
24. Reading Books
25. Writing
26. Songs with Choirs in Them
27. Water
28. Fried Pickles
29. Fat, Juicy Babies
30. People with a Good Sense of Humor
31. Inappropriate Humor
32. Make-up
33. Vintage Dresses
34. Red Lips
35. The Smell of a Wood Shop
36. Taco Bell
37. Cupcakes
38. Antique Jewelry
39. Haunted Houses/Buildings
40. Caramel
41. A Fresh Haircut
42. Office Supplies
43. Celtic Music
44. LEGOS
45. Boobs
46. Dancing
47. Sitting in Front of a Fire
48. Camping
49. Babies Laughing
50. Weddings
51. Social Media
52. Board Games
53. Being Barefoot
54. The Sound of the Ocean
55. Books
56. Cemeteries
57. Making Lists
58. Cuddling
59. Porn
60. Gaudy Accessories
61. Happy People
62. A Clean Car
63. Getting Cards, Notes, and Letters
64. Lotion
65. Fun Socks
66. Lace
67. Being Creative
68. Hearing My Hubs Laugh
69. Alice In Wonderland

Obviously I love many more things than this, but I'll save the rest for another day. ;)

50 Things Every Child Should Do

The older I get, the more fondly I look back on the simple innocence of youth. In a time when children are growing up so fast, and are mature beyond their years, it is even more important to make sure kids experience the joys of childhood. It is easy to get caught up in routines and the craziness of life, and before we know it, our children are grown. So here is a list of things that I think every kid needs to experience. Simple things that they will always remember and one day share with their kids. With summer break upon us, now is a great time to make these memories with your family. 

1. Read books, and lots of them. Real books, with real pages.
2. Dress up and play make believe. 
3. See a rainbow and try to find the pot of gold at the end.
4. Pretend the floor is lava.
5. Learn to build a proper blanket fort. 
6. Catch fireflies.
7. Make s'mores.
8. Have a lemonade stand.
9. Go camping and sleep under the stars.
10. Identify the big and little dipper. And the North Star.
11. Make sock puppets and put on a puppet show.
12. Sing silly songs.
13. Dance until your legs hurt. 
14. Build a sand castle and watch it get washed away.
15. Run barefoot.
16. Go for bike rides.
17. Make your own Halloween costume.
18. Blow bubbles. And chase them.
19. Use sidewalk chalk. 
20. Create art. 
21. Play an instrument. 
22. Make a new friend, all by themselves. 
23. Feed some wildlife.
24. Catch a frog, a turtle and a snake.
25. Pick wildflowers.
26. Eat fruits and veggies right out of the garden. 
27. Plant a tree.
28. Donate their own possessions to someone in need.
29. Learn to write a proper thank you note.
30. Play in the rain. 
31. Learn to make their bed. And do it every day.
32. Eat too much candy.
33. Have a pen pal.
34. Fall down. And get back up.
35. Ride a horse.
36. Learn to swim.
37. Go down a water slide.
38. Have a water balloon fight.
39. Build a snowman.
40. Have a snowball fight.
41. Listen to your parents favorite music.
42. Go to a drive in movie in your pajamas.
43. Watch fireworks and play with sparklers. 
44. Ride on a tractor. 
45. Build Legos. 
46. Go to museums. 
47. Learn to color inside and outside the lines.
48. Drink right from the hose.
49. Learn to do a cannonball.
50. Fight and make up with a friend.

Obviously there are many, many more things children should learn and experience, but this is a pretty good start. :)

10 BIG Things I Learned As A Parent

*Disclaimer: I am by no means suggesting I was a perfect parent. Many of these lessons I learned by making several mistakes along the way. But I think they are all things worth sharing.*

1. Be present. We live in a very busy world, and it's easy to get overwhelmed with work, chores, activities and more, but in order to be a truly good parent, you must be there. Choosing to become a parent is a choice to put someone else ahead of yourself. That means that when/if your child needs you, even for something that seems silly to you, you MUST be there. 
2. Listen. When your son or daughter is talking, really listen. This starts from the earliest age. I know hearing a story about a rock or turtle they found doesn't seem nearly as important as finishing dinner, but trust me... IT IS. To a 3 or 4 year old, that is HUGE and they are CHOOSING to share that with you. If you ignore what is important to them at a young age, they will stop sharing important things with you, and you will end up the clueless parent of a teenager. 
3. Be honest. As parents, it's easy to fall into the pattern of sugar coating and half truths, but it's a bad habit. They WILL learn the truth eventually, and they will be much better off it they hear it from you. Also, don't lie about how you were as a child. If you claim to never have made mistakes, you are setting an impossible standard for your children, and that is unfair. They don't need all the details, but you can help them learn through your mistakes. The sooner children learn that parents are not perfect, the sooner they can relate to you. Being honest also creates a bond of trust and respect that is a MUST for a good parent/child relationship. 
4. Teach a love of reading. I cannot stress how important this is. From the earliest age, you should be reading to your kids. And not from phones, computers or tablets. REAL BOOKS. Teach them to appreciate the written word and the joy it can bring. Reading opens up new worlds and experiences, and it is proven to help with math, science, comprehension and writing skills, just to name a few. Books can be a lonely or quiet child's best friend, and they can also be something helpful and calming to an active child. Reading is essential to a well rounded individual. Take young children to libraries and let them choose books that appeal to them. This also teaches them to respect the property of others, by not damaging borrowed books. I could go on for days about the benefits of reading, but just trust me on this one.
5. Teach problem solving. As a parent, it is instinct to want to protect our child and solve all of their problems. But that is detrimental to your child. They NEED to learn to solve problems on their own. They need to deal with conflict, loss, failure, fear, etc in order to ever learn to handle them. Life is not always easy or fun, and the sooner a child understands this, the better equipped they will be to deal with those things as an adult. This does not mean we should let them suffer alone, but it does mean that they will need to suffer from time to time. It will make them stronger, more independent and capable adults. 
6. Say NO. This is another big one. Kids absolutely need to hear you say no. You CANNOT give in to your child all the time. Not only is that beyond spoiling, but it is setting them up for MAJOR disappointment in the real world. You are the boss, you make the rules. If you tell your child no, stick to it. Trust me, this will not always be easy, but it is SO worth it. Saying no teaches patience, respect and acceptance. These are things you want your child to have. 
7. Manners ARE important. In an age where everything is emailed, text or chatted, it's easy to overlook the basic rules of courtesy and respect. But simple things like please and thank you are SO important. Teach your child proper table manners, how to behave in public and at someone else's house, how to take care of their things, how to hold the door for others and how to treat others with kindness. These are so often neglected and we can all see the change in the world. So if you want things to get better, it starts at home. Teach your children manners. 
8. You are the parent, not the friend. If you are worried about being the cool mom or dad, you shouldn't have kids. Kids need parents to set standards, make and enforce rules, offer advice and be supportive. They need to learn how to be responsible, respectful adults by having responsible and respectful adults in their lives. It is not your job to be their buddy. They have plenty of friends. If you do your job right as a parent, when your child grows up, you will have a wonderful relationship with them that is so much more than a friendship. So if your 13 year old hates you right now because you made her change her clothes... that's ok. Someday she'll be grateful for it. Parenting is NOT instant gratification. It is a LONG process, and you may not see all the results/rewards right away, but if you do it well, I promise... you WILL see them. 
9. Have fun. Kids are fun. Plain and simple. Even though parenting can be an overwhelming job at times, it shouldn't always be. Make time for fun with your kids. Dress up and act silly, play games, do arts and crafts, dance to good music and laugh together. Make memories that will last a lifetime. Turn off the TV and computer, put away your phone and go for a bike ride. Or go fishing, camping or to the park. Push your child on the swings, follow them down the slide, race them on the monkey bars. Build Legos together, make Play-Doh food and pretend to eat it, let them braid your hair, have water fights, be silly. Teach your child it's ok to laugh and find the joy in life. Then someday, you can sit back and watch them do it with their kids. 
10. Say I love you. I know it sounds simple, but it is anything but. As a parent, you are going to have to be the bad guy sometimes, you will have to discipline and make tough choices. You will yell, argue and make mistakes. Your kids will get angry with you, they may even hate you a little sometimes. So NEVER EVER hesitate to say I love you. Say it often and mean it. Hug and kiss your children. Even when they get big and find it embarrassing. Do it so often, that even when they are angry with you, they still KNOW you love them. Take it from me, you never know when you won't have the chance to say it again, so make sure they hear it and believe it. 

These are a few of my favorite things...

Well, it is called Berry Favorite Things, so I guess I should share some of my fave things. I will break these down into categories so if you are just scanning this (you should be ashamed of yourself) you can find what you are looking for faster.

Cleaning Products:

Rubbing Alcohol (Works on so many surfaces for a streak free, disenfected shine. Use it on stainless steel with a cotton cloth for a perfect finish.)
Zep Professional Strength Instant Spot & Stain Remover (Works on carpets, upholstery, automotive fabrics and more. Gets out EVERYTHING. Buy it at Home Depot. Seriously, buy it.)
Lysol All Purpose Cleaner (I love all Lysol products, but this stuff is fabulous. It works on counters, toilets, stoves, sinks and even gets soap scum & mildew off of showers. Awesome.)
Febreze (This is my very last step in cleaning. Just spritz all your furniture, curtains, rugs, etc. for a fresh, clean scent. It doesn't disenfect, so use Lysol spray for that, but it just gives everything that "just cleaned" freshness and makes your home smell wonderful.)
Purex Natural Elements Laundry Detergent (I have extremely sensitive skin and most detergents make me an itchy mess. This stuff is wonderful! The Linen & Lilies scent is my fave, but the entire natural line works great. And bonus! It is way cheaper than other natural or sensitive brands.)

Health & Beauty Products:

Suave Professionals Hair (Shampoos, conditioners, hair spray and more. I use many of the products from this line and they work just as good and sometimes better than the more expensive salon brands. I also use Suave lotions and even on my uber sensitive skin, get amazing results.)
Dove Deoderant (With sensitive skin & allergies to many deoderants, it took me a long time to find a brand that not only didn't break me out, but actually kept me fresh all day. This stuff really works.)
Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse Foundation (I have combination skin, so some areas are so greasy, I could lubricate a car, while other areas are dry & flaky. This is the BEST foundation I have found. It comes in many shades, I even mix them to create my own, and it has a gorgeous finish. Lasts all day & is great on sensitive skin.)
Wet n Wild Waterproof megaplump Mascara (I am super picky about my mascara. I require a good brush, no clumping, and long lasting results. This stuff meets all my demands and is $2.99. Just try it.)
Urban Decay eye make-up (From the Primer Potion to the liners & shadows, UD is the best. The colors are vivid and long lasting, they work wet or dry and they are worth every penny.)

Random Household Items:

Rust-Oleum Painter's Touch Ultra Cover spray paint (Hands down the BEST spray paint. It drys crazy fast, covers in virtually one coat, sprays at any angle and works on any surface. Also, it's less than $5 a can. I use a lot of spray paint in my crafting, and this is my #1 go to kind. The gloss is so shiny, you would swear it was still wet. Love, love, love it!)
Little Trees auto air freshners Cotton Candy scent (Greatest scent EVER! Just go buy them, you will not regret it.)
Bic Pens (I do a lot of writing, and am very fussy when it comes to my pens. Bic makes a great, inexpensive pen. Buy a 10 pack and hide them, you will not want to share.)
Colonial Candles (I am a candle addict. I burn them everyday, all day. I love to try new brands and scents and Colonial is the best, hands down. They burn clean and even, they smell amazing and the fun shape of the jar is great for reusing after the candle is gone. Fine Merlot is my fave scent.)

These are just some of the things I use and love. I am getting no money or kickbacks for this, I just like to share good things when I find them. People often ask me what I use or recommend, so I thought I'd share a few. If you try them, let me know what you think, I love to get feedback. Have a great day!