Today in my social media feeds, I have seen countless posts themed "Plus size model in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue" and I can't help but shake my head.
I get it, this is a win in many ways. And I'm happy to see Sports Illustrated expanding their model horizons to include more curvy women. But I can't help but notice that it's far from equal.
For starters, every post just says "plus size model" and you don't see her name until you get further into the article.
This is Ashley Graham. She's absolutely gorgeous. She should be on the cover of every magazine, and plastered all over the bedroom walls of teenage boys (and girls) the world over. So why must we focus so much on the fact that she's "plus size"? When other models grace the pages of the Swimsuit Issue, we don't say "skinny model" or "underweight model" or any of the like. They're just models. Nor do we include their swimsuit size in the posts, yet every single thing I've read about Ashley includes the fact that she's a size 16. Does that really matter? Why isn't the cover model's swimsuit size listed?
Why can't beautiful models be just that? It's 2015. And Ashley is the first "plus size" model to ever grace the pages of Sports Illustrated? Am I the only one who sees a problem with that? In a time when body shaming is so popular, why are we still separating models by size? Is it a move in the right direction to have an average sized model in the Swimsuit Edition? Yes. But the better move would have been to put her on the cover, and NOT make a big deal about the fact that she's "plus size". By putting all the attention on the fact that they're featuring a bigger model, they are taking away from the fact that she is simply just a stunning woman, who SHOULD be in their magazine.
I mean just look at this photo. LOOK AT IT. Imagine the impact it could have made if that had been the cover. No hype, no pats on the back for using a "big girl". Just "Hey, look at the hottie on this year's cover."
So yeah... it's great that Ashley made it in. It's amazing, in fact. And good for her. But it will be even more amazing when she's featured just because she's a beautiful model, with a hella bangin' body, and not so that Sports Illustrated can score points for finally using a normal sized woman.
Everyday, we are faced with a choice. We can be happy, or we can be sad.
Of course, there are a million other emotions that fall in between, but most of them will lean towards one of those two options.
I'll be honest, I don't always wake up happy. Sometimes I struggle with the heavy weight of sadness, and I have to fight to push it off.
But day after day, I encounter things that amaze and inspire me. People who smile through heartbreak and pain.
Just today, sitting at my desk, staring out the window, watching the world go by, I have seen a blind man out alone, enjoying a walk. I've seen a young girl with a walker and leg braces cruising by my window with a brilliant smile on her face. I've witnessed countless people stop in the midst of their busy lives to admire a stunning mural, recently painted on the side of the building across the street. I've seen a mentally challenged young man riding his bike, stopping to smile or greet each person he passed.
Day after day, I am inspired by the world around me. By people who are kind, even when those around them are cruel. People who are filled with beauty, in an otherwise ugly world. People who can find the silver lining on any black cloud.
You hear stories and see videos of people doing heroic acts, overcoming immense challenges, and beating the odds. Of folks paying it forward, giving selflessly, and making a difference.
THIS is the world I'm proud to be a part of. Not the ugly, evil, cruel world that you see on the news. Yes, those things are out there. But they aren't the ONLY things out there. For every tragedy, somewhere there is also a happy ending.
To all of you individuals out there, doing good, and being positive... I hope you know it isn't in vain. There are countless others, like myself, who bear witness, and are inspired to be more like you. Maybe I don't say it enough, maybe my quiet gratitude needs to become shouted gratitude, but I am so thankful for you. Thank you, smiling strangers. Thank you, selfless givers. Thank you, optimists. Thank you, beautiful souls. Thank you to everyone who has made a difference in the lives of those around you, no matter how small it may have seemed. You are my heroes, and you inspire me.
Rain... It really gets a bad rap.
Ruins parades, brings sporting events to an abrupt halt, floods landscapes, and generally makes for a yucky day.
But does it? Personally, I rather like rain. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to start building an ark, but from time to time, rain is nice.
Is there really anything more peaceful than snuggling under the covers on a rainy night? Or a day spent with a good book, and the sound of rain on your roof? There was nothing better as a child than playing in the rain, splashing in puddles, and making mud pies. And to be honest, I still enjoy playing in puddles. But now I like to do it in my car.
Rain can be annoying, sure. Just ask any bride who's dealt with rain on her wedding day. (Even though it is considered good luck.) And who hasn't cursed the rain gods when an unexpected downpour leaves you looking like a drowned rat?
But without rain, we wouldn't have flowers, grass, and plants. Life as a whole would cease to exist. Rain fills our lakes and rivers that we love to spend hot summer days playing in. Rain feeds the gardens that we eat from. Rain washes away the dust and dirt from our homes and gives all the wild critters a bath. It allows us the opportunity to use our brightly colored umbrellas and galoshes. It gives us down time to stop, relax, and take a break from the fast paced lives we tend to lead. Rainy days stuck indoors created some of my favorite memories as a kid, and with my own family as an adult.
Rain is cleansing. To the earth, and to the soul.
You don't have to wait for the rainbow to appreciate the beauty of rain...
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain."
I think it's high time I made a post about the ridiculous expectations on women these days. Day in and day out, I see posts, videos, articles, tweets, and more talking about body image, gender roles, etc. I'm about to say something that I will more than likely take a lot of shit for, but here goes...
Women are the biggest source of the problem. Yup, you read that right. In my opinion, we are our biggest enemies. Not the media, not men, not food. Us.
It's a well known fact that females are overly critical of other females. I know this because... Well, I am a female. We will be the first to judge another woman's outfit, job, hair, body, and attitude. Now don't get me wrong, we don't always do this in a negative way, but we still do it. Women are also notorious for comparing themselves to other women. We wish we had their hair, their shoes, their husbands/boyfriends, their boobs, and so on. We are inherently not satisfied with what we have, and so we assume what someone else has is better. But that's wrong. If you have curly hair, you probably wish it were straight. Well, I have straight hair, and I have tried every method in the book to get it curly. If you have big boobs, you wish they were smaller, if you have small boobs, you wish they were bigger. If you have curves, you think you're fat, if you are tall and thin, you must not look womanly enough. Does any of this sound familiar? As females, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect, and we often want to blame someone else for this, but is it really their fault? Yes, the media is filled with images of beautiful, flawless women. Because scary monsters don't sell jeans and luxury cars. Does this mean if you don't look exactly like those images, you are bad? Hardly. Does it say that anywhere in those ads? No. So whose fault is it that those images make us feel bad about ourselves? It's ours. WE make ourselves feel bad. Instead of looking at the woman in the ad, and seeing a beautiful model, we see all of our flaws. That's not the ad or the model's fault. That is inside of us. It is a model's job to be beautiful. And it is a photographer's job to make her look as flawless as possible. With the right lighting, editing, and hair & make-up... instant perfection. We KNOW this. Logically, we understand that NO ONE looks that perfect naturally. So why do we expect that from ourselves?
Ladies, I'm going to say something right now that you probably don't want to hear, but that doesn't make it any less true.
We, as a gender, are too sensitive and critical.
We need to stop reading so much into everything, and looking for the problem. If the gal in the Victoria's Secret catalog has a 4 inch thigh gap, and abs of steel, good for her. That's it. That doesn't mean YOU need to have that, and it certainly doesn't mean every man on Earth wants every woman to look like that. Don't believe me? Ask around. Talk to some men, and ask them what they find attractive. I think you'll be surprised. Men aren't NEARLY as critical of women as we are of ourselves. Just like not all women find Brad Pitt and Adam Levine to be perfect specimens, neither do all men find VS models and the Jennifer Anistons of the world to be. But you know what most men DO find unattractive? Self loathing, self pity, and hyper insecurities. While I know it is nice to feel beautiful, and to know that others find you sexy or attractive, it should be MUCH more important that YOU find yourself beautiful. If you are constantly doubting your own worth, then no amount of attention from the rest of the world can change that.
It's time that we as women, stopped blaming everyone else for our issues, and started being truly honest with ourselves. If you hate what you see in the mirror, it's not the fault of the media. If every ad started using plus sized models, all the skinny girls would feel bad about themselves. There is no pleasing everyone. It is absolutely impossible. The ONLY solution is to stop comparing yourself to others. We need to focus only on being the best versions of ourselves. Not the best version of someone else. Whether that means being happy and healthy as a size 2 or a size 20. Or being satisfied and proud of being a stay at home mom, or a working one. It means being able to look at another beautiful woman and think "Wow, she is beautiful." instead of "I wish I looked like her." It means being less judging of other females, and more accepting of ourselves. It means stop looking to blame someone else, and start looking to fix you. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Well... Behold, for you are beautiful.
Ok, Berry Friends, It's Makeup Monday on my Berry Favorite Things facebook page. If you don't already follow it, (click here) and check it out. If you do follow it, you know that I have a passion for all things beauty related, but especially makeup. Makeup should be as important as any outfit or pair of shoes in a girl's closet. You wouldn't put on your best dress with a pair of Crocs, would you? So don't ignore your face.
Today I want to talk about tools. As we all know, in order to do any job well, you MUST have the right tools. Makeup is no exception. Here are just a few must haves that every gal should have in their collection.
*Sponges: Makeup sponges are a must. Used wet or dry, they are ideal in getting the perfect clean look with your foundation. But that's not all. They are great for blending concealer, blush and eye makeup as well. They are inexpensive and disposable so you can always use a clean one.
*Q-Tips: Yup, you read that right. Those handy little swabs you use to clean your ears are a great tool for your makeup. Used wet, you can clean up an uneven eye liner line, or makeup boo-boo, and used dry, they can be used to apply and blend shadows and more.
*Eye Lash Curler: I know many people are afraid of this tool. I promise you it is not an ancient torture device. Though it takes a little practice to learn to use it well, it is worth it. You can pick these up just about anywhere for around $1-$3 and they can take your lashes from sad to fab.
*Tweezers: An absolute MUST for any woman is a great pair of tweezers. Even if you have your brows waxed, you can still use them to touch-up in between visits. Also, we all get that random neck or chin hair from time to time, right? I recommend splurging on this tool a bit and getting a good brand. I use Tweezerman point tips and LOVE them. (Also great for removing slivers, by the way.)
*Blush/Powder Brush: I know what you're thinking... My blush and powder came with brushes, why can't I use those? And you can. But you shouldn't. Those brushes are fine for emergency application, but they aren't quality. A good blush and powder brush should be a medium to large brush. I recommend a soft bristle, but with a relatively firm feel. You want it to blend the makeup, not just fling it around. Brushes are another tool that I suggest getting a better quality of. Cheap brushes don't hold up to regular use and tend to fall apart when cleaned.
*Eye Shadow Brush: I have several different styles of shadow brushes. I have a small angled one, a small thin one (great for wet shadow application) and a regular rounded tip style for blending. With these, you really have to just try different styles and see which ones you prefer. I like mine a bit on the firm side, but you may prefer a softer style.
*Face Brush: This would be those giant brushes you see from time to time. They are great for dusting on a finishing powder, but I like to use mine to just give a quick final blend. I don't use the largest size, I prefer a bit smaller for better control, but again, try different styles and see what you like best. There are no written in stone rules on this.
*Your Fingers: More often than not, you will find yourself blending, applying and wiping with your fingers. I cannot stress this enough, MAKE SURE YOUR HANDS ARE CLEAN. Wash your hands prior to doing your makeup and keep a wet rag near you to wipe them off from time to time.
These are not all the tools by any means, but these are a great place to start. You may find that you prefer to use more or less, depending on your technique and skill level. But try them and see. You may find that using the right tool can make the job easier and better.
--------- VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION--------
As with all things, cleanliness is of THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE. This is especially true when it comes to things you use on your face.
Washing and cleansing your tools is a must. You don't need expensive cleaners for this, either. For your metal tools, like tweezers and eyelash curlers, a good soak in peroxide or rubbing alcohol every few days (more often if you have skin conditions and immediately after use if you are sharing tools) for at least 15 minutes should do the trick. For brushes, you can soak them as well, but I prefer an easier method. I spray my brushes with Lysol to kill bacteria and germs, then vigorously rub them on a clean, dry towel to remove any excess. For really dirty brushes, a good soak in hot, soapy water will remove clumps and funk. Then rinse out all remaining soap, squeeze out as much of the water as you can, and allow to dry.
