Ahhh....Fall.

Fall. My favorite time of the year. There is just something magical about it. From the ever changing colors, to the scent in the air, it is filled with beauty.
I have always preferred fall to other seasons. Spring is great. It offers a welcome reprieve from the bleakness of winter, and the rebirth of plants is always nice. Summer is awesome. I love the heat and the fun of summer. Long days and warm nights make for so much fun. Winter sucks. Sorry, but you can preach about the frozen beauty and holidays all you want, they do nothing for me. I loathe being cold and winter is simply too much work. From getting up early to scrape, shovel and defrost, to all the obnoxious bundles of clothes to simply keep  your teeth from chattering. Winter can suck it. But Fall... Oh joyous Fall. YOU are the season of my heart. The colors are beyond belief. I have lived in Michigan all my life, and I NEVER tire of seeing this magic happen. The palette of fall is rich with reds, oranges and yellows. It is breathtaking in its glory. And it changes literally day to day. It's like waking up to a whole new world. I love it. I now live in an apartment, so I don't get to rake, but I miss it. No really, I do. Mostly, I miss raking the gorgeous leaves into giant piles and jumping in. (Oh yes, I still do this.) It brings back the kid in me, and I doubt I will ever not enjoy this simple pleasure.
Fall is pure magic. The weather is perfect for being outside. Jeans, a comfy hoodie and your favorite boots are the preferred outfit. Days spent at cider mills enjoying warm cider and caramel apples. Nights in front of a cozy fire. There is nothing bad about fall. And let's not forget Halloween. The BEST holiday of all time. Yeah, I said it. The best. You can take Christmas and its overdone, wasteful, commercialized "joy" and stick it where the sun don't shine. (Oh that's right, it's during winter, so that could be anywhere.) Halloween is where it's at. Let's just hit a few key points:
1. There's candy. And lots of it.
2. The decorations are a hoot.
3. You get to dress up. This means you can be anything or anyone you want. Seriously... how great is that?!
4. Did I mention there's candy?

So yes, I ADORE Fall. I love it. I would marry it and have its red, orange and yellow babies. I wish it could last longer, but alas... that is all part of the allure. You have to enjoy it while you can, because it WILL be gone quickly. And then it's winter.... Gross.

Inside the Creative Mind

I love it when people say to me, "You are so creative!" I love this for many reasons. First, the obvious... it's a nice compliment. But also because they usually say it with a shake of the head that means they just don't understand how you do it. This I like, because it's a reminder that not everyone is creative. Sometimes in the craziness of life, things like creativity can be taken for granted or completely ignored.
Now for me, I don't have many talents or skills. I am smart, but far from a genius. I have enough athletic grace to not fall on my face, and to be able to catch a ball, but you certainly won't see me in the Olympics anytime soon. I don't play an instrument, I'm terrible at math, I am far from a super model, and my culinary skills merely keep my husband and I fed. So... I am proud of my creativity. It makes me... well... me. But it also makes me different. Now I personally have never considered this a bad thing. But growing up different is not always easy. And even being a different adult is not always a cake walk, either. People don't always understand or accept different. But I am different, and I am perfectly ok with that. But for those of you who cannot understand this, let me enlighten you a bit...
Here are a few things to remember when dealing with a creative minded individual:
1. We sometimes look different. Not all creative people fall into this category, but certainly some do. We prefer to create our own style. From our hair, make-up and clothes, to our cars, houses and even pets. We tend to not fit the mold.
2. We think differently. Creative people see the world through a different light. Where some may see trash, we see potential. To others, it's just a white wall, but to us, it is a blank canvas just begging for our attention. You may write a sentence, but we prefer to write an emotion. We don't just "think outside the box", we have no idea why you would ever even have a box.
3. We live differently. Although it may seem like going to work, paying your bills, mowing your grass, and everyday activities are "normal", to the creative person they are just background. We know they must be done, but sometimes they fall to the wayside or get in the way of our inspirations. Most creative people don't care how big or fancy their surroundings, just that those surroundings make us happy. We prefer homes and cars with character over ones that would impress others. We rarely care what others think.
4. We act differently. We don't always react the way other people do. Sometimes we see situations from another angle, or we try to see the positive side, even when that isn't always the easiest. More often than not, we are outgoing and affectionate, even with strangers. To some, this is odd. To us, it is perfectly normal. Creative people tend to think and act with their heart more than their mind. (This is not always a good thing, by the way.) 
These are just a few things to remember when dealing with a creative person. And because everyone is different, not all of these will apply to each of us. But it is safe to say that if you are of a creative mind, you will certainly be able to relate to at least a few. 
So for those kids (and adults) who like to color outside the lines, or wear stripes with polka dots, or sing your own lyrics to a song... it's OK. Never be ashamed of being unique. Being creative IS something to be proud of. You don't have to paint a masterpiece, or write the next great American novel to be special. You already are. You are special because you make the world more colorful, fun, inspiring and exciting just by being in it. So rock your creative side. Share your talent with the universe and be proud of being different. Stand out from the crowd, because you are one of a kind and you are AWESOME!

Craft Show

I am wrapping things up for my very first official craft show this weekend. With everything that has happened these past few weeks, I am surprised I even want to go through with it, but strangely, I do. Zachary was so excited for me, and he genuinely loved my crafts, that I feel like I owe it to him to do this.
I know he'll be watching over me and I hope I do him proud. Aside from my son, my crafts are one of the few things that I am truly proud of. Not only do I wholeheartedly enjoy making them, I feel honored when someone chooses to purchase something I made for their home or as a gift. I have never considered myself an artist, but I have always had a tendency towards all things creative. Being able to not only make, but also sell the items I create, gives me a good feeling of accomplishment. One that no other job I've ever had (except being a parent) gives me.
I am dedicating this first show to my son, and I hope that it is a success. Although, I know even if I sell nothing, he would still be proud of me for trying. That's just who he was. It will be strange to do this without him, but I will carry him with me in spirit and in my heart, and I will do my very best to honor his memory.
Thank you, Boy Child, for always supporting (and sometimes helping) my creative side. It always made me happy to know that you thought it was so cool, and would brag about it to people. I will miss having you as my favorite crafting partner... Trips to Hobby Lobby will never be the same. Love you, kid. Wish me luck on Saturday...

Grief

Wow... it's been awhile. So much has happened in such a short amount of time... Where do I even begin?
On August 3, 2012 (exactly 25 days ago) my son, Zachary was in a car accident. On August 4, 2012, he passed away due to his injuries. At 18 years old, he had his entire life ahead of him. He had just graduated high school (Cum Laude) and was preparing to start college in September. I could go on and on about what an amazing young man he was, and how many lives he touched. This is an endless list. But that is not why I am writing today. Today I want to talk about Grief. (Yes, I believe it deserves a capital G...)
When you lose a loved one, you go through a series of emotions. Anger, guilt, hurt, loneliness, etc. When you lose a child, you experience all of those same emotions, but they are hard to identify because they are overshadowed by one major thing. Emptiness. In one split second your life is over. Your reason for each breath is gone. The pain is indescribable, and only one who has felt it can understand. But above all that, looms a terrible, crushing emptiness. I know my heart still beats, because I am alive, but I am nearly certain there is a hole where that organ used to be. My soul is gone. I see the same face when I look in the mirror, yet is is vastly different. If the eyes are the windows to the soul, mine are closed. Permanently. I am followed by what feels like a physical black hole. It sits there, just at the edge of my consciousness, begging me to fall in and never come out. And it is oh so tempting... One of the very first things you experience when you lose a child is the contemplation of suicide. (And maybe this was just me.) The idea of never seeing, hearing or holding your child again is unimaginable and impossible to accept. The easiest and fastest solution to that problem is to join them in the hereafter. Sounds crazy, right? 26 days ago, I would have agreed. But in that moment, when your entire world falls apart, it seems as logical as breathing. For me, that moment passed as soon as I looked at my husband. In that moment, the only other person in the world I cared about was him. And the idea of hurting him even a little was just too much to bear. Had I known in that moment that he was fighting the same internal battle, who knows what would have happened. But luckily, neither of us knew that.
Now, don't get me wrong, we are NOT suicidal. It is just that initial emotional impact that sends you into a place so dark, it would be easy to never come out. We opted to fight back. I made a promise to my son that I would take care of his father. I promised him that I would keep living and keep fighting. I fully intend to keep that promise. But understand, this is not an easy road. Grief is the most unfair enemy. It plays by no rules, and it takes no prisoners. Grief takes its toll on every aspect of your existence. It effects you in ways you could not have imagined and holds on tightly. This is something that I want people to understand. When you lose a child, you do not just grieve. This is not a loss like a parent, a friend or a pet. (Yes, people try to compare losing a dog or cat to what you are experiencing.) This is a loss that has no equal. Period. So PLEASE do not try to tell a Grieving parent that you "understand" what they are feeling, unless you yourself have lost a child. While I am on the subject, here are a few other suggestions:
*Do not say "They are in a better place." To a parent, there is no such thing as a better place than with your child. They belong with you and that is it.
*Do not say "God works in mysterious ways." or for that matter, any trite religious quote. Not everyone finds solace in religion, or the Lord, and if you do, great, but do not assume that a Grieving parent does as well.
*Do not say "It must have been their time." Really? I didn't realize my child had an expiration date. I would really have appreciated that memo...
*Do not ask if we have other children. I realize your intention may be innocent, but all a Grieving parent hears is "Well... at least you have a replacement." On that note, it's also NOT a good idea to suggest they have more children. Like you can simply replace the one you lost. This may work with pets, but not with children.
*Also, this is one instance where silence is NOT golden. Saying nothing is worse than saying ALL of the above. Any attempt at comfort is better than no attempt. A simple, "I am thinking of you." or "Sending you hugs." or "I love you." is wonderful. NO ONE likes to deal with death. So don't use the "I'm just not good in these situations." to make yourself feel better about doing nothing. One thing a Grieving parent learns quickly is that people can be cut out of your life very easily. Suddenly, a lot of things (and people) are not nearly as important as they once seemed, and the fastest way to be on that list is to do or say nothing.
*Support means EVERYTHING. A call, a text, a facebook message, a drop in, a lunch date, a simple smile and hug mean more than you will EVER know. A parents Grief does not end when the funeral does. It NEVER ends. So just because you have moved on, does not mean that they have.
These are just a few simple suggestions to help people understand what we are going through. These are by no means accusations, or even black and white guidelines. Every person and every parent is different. And even Grieving parents understand that this is a difficult issue to deal with for outsiders. We do try to see past the faux pas, and try to understand where people are coming from. That being said, we are also human, and can and may freak out on occasion. Please don't hold that against us. We love you, and know you are doing your best.
It is also important to note that just because a Grieving parent is attempting to go about doing normal things, that DOES NOT mean we are back to normal. We no longer have a normal. We may smile, laugh, joke, work, go out to dinner, take trips, etc, but 99.9% of what you see is merely an act. We are TRYING to learn to live again, and we may have to fake it sometimes. Please do not take this personal. It is just what happens. We still want to do things, so please don't stop inviting us. Though we may sometimes decline, we may also accept. You just never know. Our emotions and nerves are well past frayed and raw and somewhere in the category of a live wire. You just never know what may trigger a break down. It could be something as simple as a word, a place or a type of food. We have no idea. And when it happens, it is out of our control. The emotions just take over. We apologize in advance for this. It will be awkward and embarrassing for everyone involved. Sorry.
I suppose I will try to wrap this up (for today at least) and just say this; Grief sucks. No one asks to lose a child, and NO ONE knows how to deal with it, least of all the Grieving parents. So just be understanding and patient and generous with the hugs. That is all we ask...

What is the World Coming To?

I remember growing up and hearing my parents and grandparents say that the world was "Going to Hell in a handbasket." Well... I still have no idea what a handbasket is (Do you collect hands in it?) but I have to agree with the going to Hell part. With all the amazing advancements in technology and medical procedures, I am grateful to be a part of this day and age, but that doesn't mean I don't miss the simple ways of the past. Even for me, a mere 32 years old (Yes, I said mere.) I can see the changes, and they aren't all for the best. With the new technology, we are forgetting the basics. When was the last time you received a hand written note? Seriously, take a moment and think about it... It's probably been awhile, right? Invitations are now via email or facebook, Birthday messages are by text or voicemail and I can't remember the last thank you note I received. I'm not even sure kids are taught handwriting in school anymore. If they are, they are doing a terrible job at it, because this younger generation has the handwriting skills of a drunk doctor having a seizure. It's pathetic. We use technology so much that we rarely use our actual brains anymore. Now don't get me wrong, I rely on a calculator to do my math for me, but I could still use my fingers (and toes) if I had to.
And don't even get me started on reading and grammar skills. "b rt thr" is NOT a complete sentence. And what's with all the acronyms? I get it, they're faster to type, but now we use them whilst speaking?? I mean, WTF? I'm not even sure kids these days know what a book is. I don't mean a Kindle, I mean a real life, paper paged, actual book. No one even reads them anymore. Now they read the shortcuts or skim the electronic version. OR, they just Google it and find out someone else's opinion and claim it as their own. And coming from someone who had to suffer through "the classics" in school, I find this highly offensive. Would I have preferred to shortcut through them? Sure. But I am glad that I didn't have that opportunity, because now, as an adult, I not only have excellent reading and comprehension skills, but I can quote lines from literature and it makes me sound smart. (Not that I am stupid, mind you.)
But I digress... These are just a few of the basic skills that the younger generations have lost. There are SO many more. Dressing oneself, for instance. Now, I am all for expressing your own style, but there is a time and place for it. Weddings, funerals, work, etc. are all NOT the place. It's called tact. You dress (and act) in an appropriate manner for certain occasions. If you want to look like a homeless hooker, that is your right, but the rest of us have a right not to see it. And parents, seriously? It is OK to tell your children no from time to time. Like when your 11 year old wants a spray tan, or to dye her hair for example. It is a parent's job to teach your children what is appropriate. You aren't "Stifling their creativity" or anything by telling them that their underwear shouldn't be hanging out of their pants. Give them a belt and an art set and let them express themselves in better ways. We as a society have gotten so soft that we are afraid to upset anyone, including our own children. Well it's high time we got over that. Disappointment is a part of life. People will tell you no and mean it. You will NOT be good at everything you try. You will not always be accepted by everyone. People can be cruel. Learn to deal with it. You know why it's good to learn these lessons? Because they help us grow and learn. If you try something and fail at it, that's ok. Try something else. Eventually you will find your niche. People will be mean to you. It's not the end of the world. Those people will wash your car someday. Suck it up, toughen up and move on. Find people who are kind and treat you right and cherish them. If you never learn these lessons, then you will never become strong, independent, motivated and empathetic adults. Life is not all sunshine and roses and the sooner you learn to accept that, the better off you will be in the long run. Childhood is merely a stepping stone in life, so unless you want your 45 year old child living in your basement, playing video games and "expressing themself" forever, start being more realistic as a parent. I'm not saying you should be abusive or brutally honest, but you can tell your child no and that it's ok not to be perfect. Will they be mad? Probably. But being a parent is a hard job, and like life, it isn't all sunshine and roses. But someday, when they are happy, well adjusted, successful adults, they will thank you. Or at the very least, live in their own homes and do their own laundry.
I guess the point I am trying to make here is this: Life doesn't have to go to Hell in a handbasket. We can raise a generation to be proud of. We can BE a generation to be proud of. If we just started living simpler, working harder, being more understanding and using our God given brains, we could do even more amazing things.

Redneck Chic

So I have been crazy busy the last month or so planning my son's Open House. But now that it is over (and was a huge success) I am ready to get back to creating new things.
 I started a brand new line to the Berry Favorite Things collection. It is called Redneck Chic. It is an assortment of accessories, jewelry & more made with caps from your favorite beers. I am just getting rolling on this line, so there isn't a great deal out yet, but I am very excited and have TONS of ideas.
The line will include hair accessories, jewelry, purses, shoes & more. I can't wait to see the response this brings.
The Redneck Chic line is for ladies with a great sense of humor and unique style. The pieces are all handcrafted and make excellent conversation starters. They would be perfect for concerts, bars, ladies nights, bachelorette parties and more. The prices vary based on the item, but they are very affordable.
To see the line, along with other items I make, please visit my facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Berry-Favorite-Things/168231363272448
Thank you for supporting local artists and crafters!

Jewelry

I am a big (big) fan of fun, funky, gaudy, chunky, bright colored, shiny, blingtastic jewelry.
I have at least 1-2 pieces of it to match almost every outfit, and I get it everywhere from jewelry stores to garage sales. Sometimes jewelry makes or breaks a look, and it can take an emsemble from drab to fab or casual to elegant instantly.
I have been making my own jewelry since grade school, and though I don't make it as often as I used to, I still get the occasional itch to whip something up. Lately, I have been making bracelets out of lace, ribbon, buttons and random odds & ends. They range from elegant to funky, and I am loving them.
Here is a pic of my latest (and current fave) one.