No, seriously, it is. Our current temp is about 10 degrees, with a wind chill of about -8. That's the kind of cold that creates snot-sicles, and freezes your nose hairs so that if you mistakenly rub your honker before it thaws out, you're effectively stabbing yourself inside your nasal cavity. This makes your eyes water, which then causes your eyes to freeze shut. This leaves you blind, and then you slip on that patch of ice, fall down and break your ass.
If you break your ass, you'll have to have a cast put on, and no one wants to sign an ass cast, so you'll be shunned by friends and co-workers. Then you'll be all alone, so you'll stuff yourself full of cupcakes and Taco Bell to ease the pain, until you can no longer fit through the doors of your home. So you have to call a forklift to come get you out through the roof, but the roads will be icy, so the forklift will slide past your house, and crash into the hot, single lady's house down the street. The forklift driver will then fall madly in love with her and forget that he was supposed to be lifting your fat ass out of your house. So then you'll have to start working out constantly so you can lose enough weight to get out the doors again. This will require a LOT of burpees, and everyone knows that burpees were designed by Satan and the CIA to torture information out of people.
So I guess what I'm saying is...
I fucking hate winter.
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