Sandblast Rally: Team Finn's Debut

From the moment Dan and I decided to carry on our family dream of building and racing a rally car, I knew it would be an adventure. From the creative budgeting, to romantic weekends spent in a cold garage, it's been interesting to say the least.
You see, the co-driver seat was never intended to be mine. Our son, Zachary, was always supposed to navigate. After his passing, it fell to me. After all, Team Finn only consisted of three members. I owed it to him, and to Dan, to step up and do my best. But it was a bittersweet acceptance. As much as I loved riding shotgun on this, I would have much preferred to be cheering for my two favorite guys. Unfortunately, that wasn't the path we were sent down. So we carried on as best we could, with Zach watching over us. A rally guardian angel, if you will. 
Sandblast Rally was always in our top choices for our first event. It was the first stage rally we ever attended (as crew) so it held a special place for us. The conditions seemed great for first timers as well. And so it was decided. 
After completing all the requirements to race (physicals, licenses, logbooks, etc.) we were on our way. 
Since South Carolina is roughly a 12 hour drive from Michigan, we decided to leave a day early, just in case, and hit the road Wednesday morning. That ended up being a very wise decision, since Thursday brought brutal winter weather to nearly every state along our route. That would have been sketchy for us with a 2WD tow vehicle. Plus, it gave us an extra day to prepare, so as not to feel rushed. 
We arrived in Cheraw around noon on Thursday. Shortly after, we headed over to rally headquarters to give them a hand setting up registration. By Thursday evening, I held in my hand my first official set of stage notes. 

These were to become my Bibles for the weekend. I would study them, and treat them with due reverence. If you're not familiar with rally notes, let me explain. In rally, each car has the driver (his job is pretty obvious) and a co-driver. The co-driver (or navigator) has to tell the driver what to to, where to go, and more. You are given a book of Stage Notes, which you read during the race to direct the driver of what is ahead. Turns, cautions, jumps, etc. These are written in what I refer to as Rally Hieroglyphics, but are actually called Jemba notes. They look like this:

The second and smaller book is a Road Book. In this, you have your transits. Directions guiding you from stage to stage, to services, and eventually, to your finish location. This is crucial. You have a limited time to arrive to your destination, and getting lost on transit could cost you penalties, which can result in poor finishes overall. So you have to pay close attention to your Road Book. This book is written in Tulips. No, not the flower. Tulips are a form of directions that are very basic. They look like this:

You're told your mileage, the arrow points the direction, and you are given the road name, or a point of reference. Easy peasy, right? 
So Friday began with a Novice Orientation class, where you're taught the basics of what you need to know. Safety, rules, and so on. After that, we headed straight to Scrutineering (otherwise known as Tech) to have the car and our gear looked over to ensure it met all of the requirements. We passed that, and off we went to Shakedown. Shakedown is essentially a small section of road that is similar in conditions to what you will find once on stage. It gives teams the opportunity to test the car and make any last minute tweaks or changes to suspension, tires, or whatever else. For us, it was our first time in real stage conditions. Full safety gear on, reading notes, and running at stage paces. 

Team Finn at Shakedown. Photo courtesy of M.Campbell Photography.

It felt good. Dan ran at what I would call a less than "taking it easy" pace, but we had no issues, and the notes were spot on. We made two passes, took a break, and intended on running more, but time ran out before we could. From Shakedown, we drove into downtown Chesterfield for Friday night Parc Expose. This is essentially a car show. All the competitors park the cars, hang out, and talk to locals, fans, and other competitors. After a couple hours of this, we headed to dinner (thanks Matt) before we went back to the hotel for some last minute Stage Note work and a good nights sleep before the big day.
Saturday morning brought sunshine and better weather. We suited up, and headed back into Chesterfield for more Parc Expose and a drivers meeting before the start.

At this point, I was feeling nervous, but less so than I expected. Dan was just fine. (Go figure.) After lots of laughs, some last minute note changes (thanks Liz!) and hugs from our crew and friends, we hopped in the car and lined up. 
The countdown had begun. This was it.... we were really doing this. I sent a little silent message to our guardian angel, and in no time we were off. 
First 2 stages went as smoothly as they could have. Dan was flawless, and I was not quite flawless, but finding my rhythm. After Stage 2, we headed in for our first service. After removing a child's sandbox from our wheels, hitting the bathrooms, and chatting with our awesome crew, we headed back out for Stage 3. Aside from a close call with a tree, we were still doing well, and putting in great stage times. By Stage 4, Dan was driving like an old pro. I still wasn't feeling super confident in my note reading, but he told me I was doing great, which helped. After Stage 4, we headed in for a quick fuel only service, and were back out to Stage 5. At the start of Stage 5, we encountered some delays, due to a biker having gone down and being injured. This shook me a bit, especially since, at the time, no one had much information on how he was doing. This stage was also the one that had received a substantial route change, and we had very little notes for that portion. We had already run it from one direction (changes had been at the end) but this was the reverse, which put the note changes at the beginning, and could potentially mess me up for the remainder of the stage. After the replacement ambulance arrived, the cars were back on stage. Dan did great, but the route changes definitely made me stumble. It took me a bit to get back on track, and to say the least, I was flustered. I was grateful to be headed back in for a long service to try to shake off my frustration. After a quick bite to eat, another sandbox removal, and some socializing, we headed back out for Stage 6. This stage was a complete fail for me. I had a few pages stick together in my book (damn sweaty hands) and it took me nearly to the end of the stage to get back on track. Add to that the fact that the sun was at the "You don't need to see right now." point of sunset, and Dan drove that stage blind on all counts. I have no idea how he managed to keep us on course, but I clearly owe him massive sexual favors for that one. 

On stage photo of Team Finn, courtesy of M.Campbell Photography.

 At this point, I'm very frustrated with myself. Dan (bless his heart) kept telling me it was fine, and was very encouraging, but I knew better. I had been less than stellar for the previous two stages. We pulled into the time control for the final stage, and encountered another delay. This gave us some time to allow the sun to set, and for us to chat with other competitors. There were many DNFs (did not finish) at this point. Many of them seasoned racers. With my confidence dwindling, and us with only one stage left to go, I was feeling some pressure. I needed to get my shit together on this one. This stage was filled with tight turns, and one bad note or mistake could cost us the whole race. We had come into this with only one major goal, and that was just to finish. We were so close. Delay over, and cars were back in line. I sent yet another silent message out to Zach to keep an eye on us, and I took a deep breath and tried to get out of my own head. The final stage was insane. It got dark FAST, and we quickly learned our one small light bar was not enough. Dan was flying, and even though my notes were on, we still came into a "dip" way too hot, sending the front end in HARD and launching us into the air. The gravel that rained down seemed to be in slow motion as we waited to see smoke from a busted radiator and front end. In what felt like forever, but was probably less than 3 seconds, Dan assessed our damage (or lack thereof) and we were back at it. After passing a fellow competitor on stage, we crossed the final finish. The emotions hit me like a train at full speed. I managed to hold it together (mostly) long enough to transit to our finish, but when we pulled in for the final time control and saw our crew & friends standing there cheering for us with huge smiles.... I lost it. That moment will forever be ingrained in my memory. 
(I wish I had held it together just a few moments longer though, because unfortunately, that last time control cost us big time. Some false information and our lack of experience ended up costing us a 4 minute penalty, as I discovered later on. But I don't want to get into that. I'm still a little salty about it.)
We had finished. We achieved what we had set out to do, and I was beyond thrilled. I couldn't stop the tears. My crew (and some others) engulfed me in a huge group hug and it was at that moment that I knew we had made Zach proud. It's an overwhelming feeling that I cannot describe. Bittersweet, raw emotion. 
After the awards dinner, we headed back to our hotel, high on adrenaline and feeling a little bit like rock stars. The next morning, we loaded up and went to lunch with our crew, before hitting the road for the long haul back home. 

My favorite picture from the weekend, with our AMAZING crew.  Courtesy of M.Campbell Photography.

It's now Tuesday. The rally high is gone, and the rally hangover is fading, and yet, it all still feels a little unreal to me. Like it was all a dream, and I'm still waiting to wake up at any moment. I still can't believe that we did it. When we began this journey, it felt nearly impossible. Like one of those bucket list items that you hope happens, but know might never be accomplished. But we did it. The road that brought us to this point was by far more difficult and rough than any rally stage you could throw at us. We fought our way back from the edge of despair, and we made Zach's dream a reality. And this is just the beginning.... 

Why I'm Never Going to be One of the Guys

I hate the word tomboy. I've always hated it. Growing up with four older brothers, I spent a great deal of time playing with the boys. Decked out in camouflage in the woods, playing sports, and getting dirty. It wasn't that I wanted to BE a boy. It's just what I knew. And I enjoyed it. 
But I also enjoyed playing with makeup, wearing glittery nail polish, and playing dress up. I was happy to be a girl. Even when I was out riding bikes, building forts, and catching frogs. I wasn't trying to be one of the guys. I was just being myself. 
Not much has changed over the years. I still spend the vast majority of my time with mostly men. And I still don't wish I had a penis. 
I also don't consider myself "one of the guys" and I never will. I'm not a guy. I don't want to be a guy. When I hear chicks say "I'm just one of the guys!" I want to scream. No you're not. You're a girl who happens to participate in male dominated activities. 
And you know what? That's ok! You can still be a girl, and enjoy being a girl. I can promise you that my lipgloss and nail polish has not made a lick of difference in how much I enjoy car racing. The fact that I own more skirts and dresses than jeans and cargo pants has not, in any way, impacted my ability to build a fire, pitch a tent, or throw a football. 
Would I rather watch an action film or a porn over a chick flick? GOD YES! But that doesn't make me a dude. 
I don't like it when women think they have to sacrifice their femininity in order to fit in with men. 
I can cuss like a sailor, but I also know how to be a lady. I can bullshit and joke around without being offended, but that doesn't mean I have to fart and burp and discuss my bowel movements in a group setting, either. 
There's a fine line between fitting in with men, and trying to BE one. I can fit in just fine, but I also have no problem having a door held for me, or asking for help lifting something heavy. 
I love being a woman. I love that I can wear pretty things, and be nurturing. I love that I can help my husband out in the garage, and I also love when he hugs me and tells me that I smell wonderful. 
I don't mind getting dirty or breaking a nail. But you bet your ass that I'm going to wash up, and file that nail later. 
Telling a girl who happens to enjoy a "boy" activity that she's a tomboy is essentially telling her she has to choose between being a boy or a girl. 
We think it's cute to say that, but it's not. Why isn't calling a girl a "tomboy" just as offensive as calling a boy a "little bitch"? Because it's basically the same thing. Why does it matter if a girl likes to play baseball, football, race cars, shoot guns, or anything else? 
Those things don't suddenly make her vagina fall off. She's still a girl. And she should be proud to be one. Women are amazing. Some of the strongest, smartest, funniest, kindest, most incredible people I know are women. 
There's nothing wrong with being a female who also enjoys male oriented activities. But unless you're using the urinal next to those men... I'm sorry, but you're not one of the guys.
So stop trying so hard to be something you're not. Be proud of who and what you are, and just be yourself. 

Happy Birthday, Mama Sandy

You know those people that just seem to ooze goodness? From the moment you first meet them, it's obvious that they are as close to perfection as a person can be. Kind, funny, compassionate, genuine, loving, strong, and beautiful inside and out. 
Several years ago, I was lucky enough to meet one of these angelic souls.Her name is Sandy, and I adored her instantly. She was the embodiment of warmth and decency. 
I have no idea why, but (I try not to question it) she seemed to like me as well. We hit it off, and became fast friends. It didn't matter that there was a substantial age difference, or that I was the polar opposite of her, or that I likely sport horns, when she clearly has a halo. She accepted me for who I am, and I am beyond grateful that she did. 
Unbeknownst to either of us, the bond we shared was eventually going to save my life. 
You see, Sandy lost a daughter years before. I learned this very soon after meeting her, and it became a pivotal conversation point for us quite often. She openly shared her story of loss, and was so patient with my countless questions about it. I'd known a few parents who'd lost children, but none who were so willing to talk about it, and wanted people to understand. She moved me. Her strength was an inspiration, and I was blown away by how she survived such a difficult ordeal, and was still so filled with love and humanity. 
I had no idea that those conversations would one day end up being my own personal guidebook through Grief. 
When we lost our son, my husband and I were utterly lost ourselves. The pain is so overwhelming that you can't imagine ever getting through it. 
So often during the first days, weeks, and months after losing Zach, I found myself quoting Sandy. Sharing with my husband things she had told me about her own Grief. I kept picturing her smiling face, and telling myself that we too, could survive this. 
Sandy saved our lives. Without her wisdom, we wouldn't be where we are in our Grief today. Many times, I have called or text her for guidance. I've turned to her to remind me that I'm not crazy, even when it feels like I am. 
She has been my rock. My biggest supporter, and my surrogate mother. 
I'll never be half the woman that Sandy is, but I strive for it nonetheless. 
Too often in this world we idolize celebrities, when there are real inspirations right in front of us. Sandy is my hero. In every sense of the word. 
And today, on her birthday, I want her to know that. Her friendship is a gift to me, and one that I will cherish forever. I love you Mama Sandy. Happy Birthday. 

Look at this stunning woman! She is the definition of grace, 

and one sexy hot mama to boot! 

5 Reasons to Love Rally

It's a well known fact that I love rally. I've been a fan for many years, have been a crew member for various teams for the past 3 years, and come March, Team Finn (my husband and I) will officially be competitors in the sport. If you're already involved in rally in any capacity, you know how addicting and awesome it is. But rally (in America) is still a relatively unknown sport. This amazes me. I know TONS of automotive fans, so how is it possible that they're unfamiliar with the greatest form of racing there is?? (If you say NASCAR is, I will punch you in the throat.) Maybe we're just not doing a good job of explaining it to the average person. So let me attempt to fix that right now. I am going to give you 5 reasons why you should love rally. Or at the very least, go to one and check it out. Because I guarantee that once you experience it, you will be hooked. So without further ado... my list. 

1. The cars.
If you love cars, or even appreciate cars, you will be utterly smitten with rally cars. These vehicles are built to traverse any and all conditions. They're fast, agile, and sexy as hell. These are not just grown up Hot Wheels cars. They are built with a purpose, and it shows. From the eye catching exteriors down to the tough as nails suspension, every detail of these rides serves a purpose. And the sound.... oh the sound. It's absolutely something every certified car lover should have caress their ear holes at least once. 

Photo courtesy of Eric Delaney at Lifeblasters

2. The spectating is epic.

Spectating at a rally is an adventure of its own. There are no bleachers, no cushy stadiums. It's raw, dirty, and not for the feint of heart. You'll drive out into forests and back roads that you would otherwise never traverse. You'll hike into the woods, and up mountains to find the perfect spot. You'll see Mother Nature's most stunning views, and find yourself lost in the incredible beauty of it. And that's before the first car drives by. But once the cars start, you better be paying attention. Depending on the rally, you could see crazy jumps, water crossings, or dirt road drifts that have you jumping back to get out of the way. It's up close and personal racing. Spectators are oftentimes the first on the scene to help push, pull and drag competitors out of ditches and trees. You become a part of the event, not just bench warmers. The spectator stories are usually just as exciting as the racers. 

Just one of the spectacular views you'll experience in rally.
This is from Rally West Virginia.

3.It's up close and personal.

When you go to a rally, whether as a spectator, volunteer, crew member, or competitor, you are a part of the rally. You don't need a special pass to get an autograph or photo with the drivers and cars. At every event, before the race starts, there is Parc Expose. This is similar to a car show, where all the competitors cars are lined up, and the drivers are socializing and wandering around. There's no charge to get in, and you can meet and greet with everyone, including the VIPs. Most teams have freebies, like posters, stickers, bracelets, key chains, etc. that they pass out, so you can always grab some goodies from your favorites. And the service area is always open during the event to spectators as well, so you can stop in and watch crews do fast paced repairs, hear crazy stories, and grab some photos. 

4. This.

Photo courtesy of M.Campbell Photography

Photo courtesy of M.Campbell Photography

Photo courtesy of M.Campbell Photography

Photo courtesy of Scott Rains (Rains Photography)

Photo courtesy of Scott Rains (Rains Photography)

5. It's a family.

Rally may be a sport, but above and beyond that, it's a family. Everyone you meet through rally becomes an instant friend. The camaraderie is unlike anything you'll ever experience. Very rarely will you find, in any sport, competitors helping each other out. But you see it regularly in rally. Everyone is there because they share a passion for the sport, so they support each other in any way they can. I always tell people that rally is addicting, because it is. When you head home from a rally, you are usually dirty, sore, and utterly exhausted. But you still hate to leave. You don't want to say goodbye to your rally family, and you start counting down until the next event. Why? Because there's an energy that surrounds rally that just can't be explained. It can only be experienced. 

*If you're interested in experiencing these things firsthand, consider volunteering. Or at the very least, go spectate an event. I promise you won't regret it. For a rally near you, go to Rally America or NASA Rally Sport and check the schedules. 

Grow Your Business!

Social Media:
Did you know that social media is one of the fastest growing ways to help boost sales and grow your business and/or brand? It's true. The average person spends 3-5 hours a day on sites like Facebook and Twitter alone. And those averages are growing more every year. Smart phones can even keep us connected 24 hours a day if we prefer. 
The point is, if you aren't utilizing these free sites, you're missing out on A LOT of potential business. 
But keeping up with social media can be time consuming, and most business owners and managers already have too much to do in a day. So what's the solution?
I am! That's right, you can hire me to manage your social media accounts for you. I have several years experience, and have learned crucial tricks, like what kinds of posts make the most impact, and when the ideal times of day to post are. I can also help you come up with creative marketing campaigns, and ways to increase activity and traffic to your business. Depending on your needs, I can do a per post fee, or a weekly or monthly rate for more frequent and regular posts and updates. If your business has a blog, I can do that as well. 
Marketing:
I have been in charge of marketing (social media and otherwise) for several previous employers, and love the challenge involved. Creative problem solving, and the ability to think outside the box is key, and something I truly enjoy. 
Hiring a marketing company is expensive, and not an option for every business. But that doesn't mean you have to go without this amazing tool. 
I can work with any budget, and we can decide what works best for you. Maybe you just want to have a "Brain Storm Session" and pay a one time fee for me to help you come up with new ways to boost sales, increase traffic, etc. Whatever your needs, I'm certain I can help. 
Advertising:
Clever and informative advertising is an important part of growing and maintaining any business. But finding the right way to do that can often be tricky. Maybe you need a catchy motto, or a fun mascot idea. I'd love to help! Having spent years working with the public in various jobs, I have a great grasp of what types of advertising works the best, and how to capture the attention of the average person. 
Event Planning:
Do you host a holiday party for your staff every year? Or maybe you want to create an event to bring more customers into your store or business. I can help with that! I spent 12 years with Hallmark, and over 9 of those years was spent in charge of planning all our events, and doing event coordinating with customers for weddings, showers, birthday parties and more. You might think hosting an event is too expensive, but I know plenty of tricks to stay within any budget, and you won't have to sacrifice style and fun to do it. 

No matter what your creative business needs are, I want to help. Traditional marketing and event coordinating services can be costly, but I want to make these tools available to every business owner/manager, so I am keeping my prices affordable and available for any budget. To find out more, or to discuss rates/fees, contact me at BerryFavoriteThings@gmail.com and let's work out a plan! I can't wait to hear from you!
-Teena Hauxwell-Finn

The Toxic Double Standard

Let's pretend for a moment, that you're having a conversation with a friend. They tell you that they have a friend/partner/co-worker that is incredibly toxic. This person is unnecessarily cruel, demeaning, disrespectful, and intentionally hurtful towards them. They cause them near constant stress and emotional turmoil. They tell you that they've repeatedly tried to make things work with this person, but it always ends negatively. 
What would you say to your friend? 
More than likely, we would tell them that they need to distance themselves from that person. That they are detrimental to their health and well being and that they would be better off without them. We would encourage them to remove that person from their lives and move on. And we would feel good about telling them that. We would feel like we are offering them useful and worthwhile advice. 
But what if that friend/partner/co-worker was a parent/sibling/relative instead? Would your advice change?
In my experience, when you tell someone that you have removed a toxic family member from your life, you get told things like "You need to forgive and forget." or "But that's your mom/dad/sister/brother/etc. and you only have one." or "That's so sad. You're going to regret that one day." 
Why is it that our standards for acceptable behavior differs from friends to family? Why is it that something we would never or should never tolerate from one group should suddenly be swept under the rug for another? 
Why is family exempt from being held accountable for their actions? Shouldn't people who are supposed to love you unconditionally be held to an even higher standard? 
You would never say to a woman who left an abusive husband that "She's going to regret that someday." so why is it considered acceptable to say that to someone who has left any kind of abusive relationship? 
People who cut ties with family members rarely do so lightly. It's not a decision made in haste and anger. It's more often than not made after many, many years of struggle and heartache. When you feel as though you have run out of options. 
We all have limits and there are some lines that, once crossed, can never be uncrossed. It's not about holding grudges, being immature, or trying to 'rock the boat'. It's about allowing yourself to finally let go of someone who causes you pain. 
People who make the difficult decision to divorce themselves from a toxic person should never be made to feel guilty or ashamed of that choice. There shouldn't be a double standard that makes it ok for some people to hurt you, but wrong for others. 
It is often hard for those outside of the immediate situation to understand the hows and whys, but it is never acceptable to judge them, when you very likely do not know the full story. Even if you have a wonderful relationship with the person they are estranged from, that does not mean that they have the same type of relationship. The husband who beats his wife and children often has friends and family members who adore him. 
Bottom line is this... when someone tells you that they walked away from a painful and toxic relationship, your only response to that should be support and compassion. Regardless of the nature of that relationship. Toxic is toxic. Period. 

Product Review: Go Girl (Female Urination Device)

I drink A LOT of water. Which means I pee a lot. But depending on the situation and location, there's not always a convenient place to do your business. 

I love to camp, and also attend several rally races a year. If you've ever done either, you'd know that the bathroom situation can often be a free for all, aside from the occasional Porta-Potty. And for me, using a Porta-Potty is right up there with vaginal exams and math tests on the list of things I want to do. I mean, c'mon. Who designed these things? There is no good way for a female to use one without touching something we'd rather not touch, or peeing on something we'd rather not pee on. You know... like ourselves. It's messy and disgusting on a good day, and down right impossible on a bad day. (Think winter, and several layers.) 

So what can ladies do? Well, as it turns out, there IS a solution. 

TADA! Introducing the Go Girl. It's a female urination device, which is essentially just a fancy name for a piss funnel. Now, there are several brands of these, but after doing some research, I opted for this one. Mostly just because it had the biggest opening at the top, which seemed like a good call on their part. Less margin for error and all. 

It was a whopping $8 (including shipping) and comes in a plastic cylinder for storage. It also came with a plastic baggie and a tissue, which I thought was kind of genius on their part. (Granted, you'll have to remember to replace those after each use.) 

Now, the Go Girl has a few features that I feel compelled to mention. It's made from medical grade silicone, which I assume is a good thing, since medical grade is in the name and all. But considering I've been known to pee into an empty fast food cup in a pinch, it wasn't necessarily a selling point for me. The "unique tip design" I still haven't figured out, but I can tell you this... it did NOT make my pee come out in a fancy cake frosting design, so it was a bit of a letdown. The compact design is a nice perk, since you can roll it up and keep it stored cleanly and discreetly in the cylinder. But the best feature listed here is the mess free edges. I have 3 words for you. No splash back. (Or is splashback one word? Whatever, you get the point.) This lip helps keep your urine where it belongs, which ideally, is not running down your leg. So, from a design and quality perspective, they get an A. 

Now, the part I know you're all most concerned with is function. Well let me tell you... it does work. 

Personally, I always wondered what it would be like to pee standing up. Not hovering, or squatting, but really, truly standing. Well now I know. And... it was weird. First of all, I always assumed my penis would be bigger if I had one. And the stem/wiener on this isn't very long, which is great for storage purposes, but having never stood up to pee before, it made it a tad tricky. You have to stand pretty close, or ideally directly over the toilet. Now, if you're using this outdoors, obviously that's not an issue. 

Once I established the proper distance, the rest was easy. The top of the piss funnel sits nicely against your lady bits, and it's flexible and soft, so there's no scraping or awkward chafing. You can pinch it to open the top up even wider, which is helpful if your stream is being uncooperative. You do have to pay attention to your pace though. If you are packing a lot of pressure, overflowage could pose an issue. So just take your time and enjoy yourself. Maybe find a friend to sword fight with. I hear that's a good time. 

But all in all, I give this product 2 thumbs up. It's cheap, easy to use, and will definitely come in handy from time to time. It is also reusable, so just rinse it out, let it dry, and put it back in the cylinder.
So ladies, if you camp, hike, participate in sports, or just want to be prepared for any situation... I strongly suggest you spend the $8 and get yourself one.