March's Projects

I figured it was time for my monthly project update. These are all orders I have done recently. Any of these products can be ordered from me via my facebook page.( Click here ) I specialize in custom orders, made to your color/style preferences. 

This is a cork board done in a chili pepper design. Very fun and colorful.

 These are the custom made thumb tacks to match the chili pepper cork board. 

This was a custom made dry erase board I gave away as a prize for a contest. Love the colors in this piece. 

An antiqued shelf with coat hooks made for a customer's mudroom. Can be done in a wide variety of colors as well. 

This was a repurposed/reworked piece. It was repainted in an antiqued blue finish to match the customer's new decor and knobs were added for hanging bathrobes. A fun new use for an old piece. Don't throw away your old stuff, remake it!

This was ordered as a Valentine gift for a customer's wife. A custom Love Notes Dry Erase Board. A great way to show and share your love for one another. 

This custom fairy door was made for a couple of little boys to use as a tooth fairy door. (Remote is shown for size comparison.)

Latest addition to the Functional Wall Art collection. The Mad Hatter. This was a gift for a friend's Wonderland themed nursery. The knobs are great for hanging clothing, towels, etc. Functional Wall Art can be made to match any room. 

My Ideal Relationship

I recently read a post via a friend about marriage. It got me thinking that my idea of an ideal relationship is different than most. 
I've been with Dan for 15 years. (I should mention that we are NOT legally married, just in case that somehow makes a difference for someone.) We raised a son together, and lost him in a fatal car accident almost 8 months ago. So we've had our share of trials. Our relationship started off strong and fast. We dated for a couple weeks, then moved in together. Many people questioned our decision, but we didn't. At one point, early on, we did separate for a short time. This was a mutual and very difficult choice on both our parts, but we needed to do it. It was for the best in the long run, and we are both very grateful for that time. It taught us a great deal about ourselves and our strength as a couple. 
Being that we were fairly young when we began dating, we have obviously both changed a great deal in the last 15 years. But we have done it together. If we've discovered new interests, we've supported one another in them. We've changed homes, jobs, etc through the years, yet through it all we've remained strong. We truly are best friends. Not only do we LOVE spending time together, but even after all these years, we still get excited to see each other day after day. We go to bed together in each others arms every night, and we wake up that way every morning. We make each other laugh. We can and do act silly together all the time. We challenge each other to be better and we support one another regardless. We are a team. We each have our strengths and weaknesses and we own them. We talk about EVERYTHING. There is no subject that is off limits. We are 100% honest with the other all the time. Even when honesty isn't the easiest, we still are. We don't always agree, but we ALWAYS work it out. Compromise doesn't mean you always get your way. It means that your relationship is more important than always being right. 
We are each others biggest supporter and number 1 fan. We are there for each other through thick and thin. 
We have an incredible love life. Fifteen years later, and it is better than ever. Sex isn't just for teenagers and newlyweds. We are very open and honest about sex, and we have never hesitated to try new things and be open to one another's fantasies. There is 100% trust in our relationship, up to and including the bedroom. We are and always have been an affectionate couple. We hug and kiss (and smack each others asses) without shame or embarrassment. We love each other and it shows. That is something to be proud of, not something to hide. 
We have grown stronger over the years. We have grown closer, not further apart. We have outlasted many, many marriages of friends & family members. I never thought of myself as someone who would be in a 30, 40 or 50 year relationship. It seemed crazy and unrealistic to me. But it no longer does. I can picture Dan and I old and grey. Still laughing and having fun. Still best friends. Still grabbing ass and getting frisky. 
There is no formula for the perfect relationship. Each person and couple are different. Everyone brings their own wants, needs, expectations and baggage into a partnership. Some "rules" are basic common sense. Communication, honesty, attraction, etc. We know that without a good foundation, a relationship will fail. But what makes up a good, solid and happy relationship is as varied and unique as the people in it. My notion of the ideal marriage is not the same as someone else's. Nor should it be. I am not the same as someone else. But at the end of the day, if you ask yourself "Am I truly happy?" and the answer is no, it's time to try something different. 

                                         Dan & I on a camping trip recently. 

I'm a Fashion Disaster

Hello, my name is Teena, and I am a fashion disaster. Yup, I admit it. I know little to nothing about fashion and trends. Clothing brands and designer names may as well be hieroglyphics to me. I just don't get it. I love clothes and accessories as much as the next girl, but I've never understood buying something based on a name. I follow a strict 'never judge a dress by its label' rule. I shop by look and feel. Did it catch my eye? Does it feel good on? Do I look and feel good with it on? That's it. Those are my fashion rules. Trends have never factored in for me. 
 As a kid, I hated jeans. HATED them. I grew up in the 80's & 90's, so they were either too tight or too loose. And they felt like wearing potato sacks. It took me years to find brands and styles that felt comfortable to me. I never cared that "all the other kids were wearing them" or that I wasn't cool or in style. I only cared about comfort. 
Growing up, I rarely shopped at the stores my friends did. Partly because I couldn't afford to, but also because I didn't care for the styles. They just weren't me. I shopped at thrift stores WAY before Macklemore & Ryan Lewis made songs about it. I always liked the look of vintage clothing, plus everything was already soft and worn. And it was cheap! 
Now that I'm older, my styles might have changed, but I still shop the same way. I look for items that draw my eye and I only buy things that feel right on my skin. I still LOVE vintage, but I lean towards dresses and more feminine pieces than I did in my younger days. 
When I think of fashion, I think runways and magazine covers. I picture outfits that are more art than function and I just don't relate to that. I can appreciate it, sure. But I don't get it. My awesome and very dear friend, Vanessa, has a fashion blog, and I love it. I read it religiously. (Check it out here) She also loves vintage, and she can relate to my eclectic tastes, as well. She has a passion for fashion, that I certainly do not, but she has a sense of humor & whimsy that make it enjoyable to even disasters like myself. I need to bring her shopping with me. 
My closet is a hodge podge of random, unrelated items. Occasionally, I put things together that make it appear as if I know what I'm doing, but for the most part, I just dress according to my mood. In an average week, my style can go from cowgirl, to pin-up, to punk rocker. And then I'll have a whole month when I wear nothing but jeans and t-shirts. Like I said... fashion disaster. There is no rhyme or reason to my looks. I just wear what I like, and I like a lot of different things apparently. Very few of which are "on trend". But, I'm ok with that. I like my crazy style. It suits me. I will never grace the pages of Cosmo or have my own clothing line at Target. I will probably never recognize the names or faces of famous designers or own a pair of $1000 shoes. I am a fashion disaster... and I am just fine. 

Stages of Grief??

I've heard people talk about the stages of Grief before. The different steps you take to get to acceptance and moving on. While there may be some truth to those, I don't think they apply when you lose your child. 
After losing Zach, I haven't been riding a roller coaster of well established and easily defined stages. It has been a terrorist attack of emotions that come and go when they please, without consent from me. I don't think I've moved through any stages. I think it was more like they all hit at once and then just stuck around. While some emotions take an hour, or even a day or two off, they all come back eventually. And some of them bring new friends to the party. 
I don't think losing a child is like any other loss. Period. You cannot compare it to that of a friend, a parent or grandparent, a sibling or a pet. So the same rules of Grief just don't apply. Some of the feelings may be similar, but they are on vastly different scales. 
People often tell Dan & I that we are doing so well. That they are amazed at where we are in our Grief. I'm baffled by this. For starters, I don't feel like I am doing well. I feel downright crazy most days. And how does anyone know where we are in our Grief? I can't even answer that. I wouldn't know where to begin. So for those of you who are wondering how we are really doing, let me try and explain...
Dan & I are different than most people. We don't show the same types of emotions that most do. We have what I refer to as an emotional "lockdown mode" that we can control. Most people do not have this. They feel things, and it shows. In their faces and actions. We still feel things, we just do not share those feelings with many people. For the better part of my life, I have been called a bitch, heartless, cold, etc, by many people. And that's fine. I CAN be all of those things. But most people assume that because I am not SHOWING emotion, I must not be FEELING emotion. And that couldn't be further from the truth. Since losing Zach, Dan & I have felt and shown more emotions than either of us even knew we were capable of. But we've also locked down many, many feelings and kept them to ourselves, or select people. That is just who we are. 
If we walked around showing all the things we were feeling since losing our son, the fallout would be catastrophic. Most people just cannot handle dealing with a Grieving parent. The truth of what we are thinking and feeling is too much for them. And that is fine. So we deal with it together. And with the help of a very small, but amazing support group of friends/family. Being the way we are, makes it hard for others to judge how we are doing. I understand that. 
So, here is the best I can do. We are surviving. Some days are better than others. Distraction helps, but isn't a guaranteed fix. We think about Zachary constantly. Everything we see and do relates back to him. There is no escaping the reality that he is gone. We miss him with every fiber of our being and the pain is indescribable. That is our new normal. But we have also made the decision to use that pain as a reminder. A reminder to live, because Zach no longer has that option, and we do. So we've decided to live for him. To do all the things we know he would want us to do. To carry him with us in spirit constantly and use him as a catalyst to keep going, even when it gets difficult. We've adopted his attitude about life and let it inspire and motivate us. It doesn't always work, but it has made a HUGE difference in how we deal. We made our son a promise to get through this, and we refuse to break it. So we push on. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. It is all we can do. We are not the same people we were before, and we never will be. 

Spring Fever Has Hit...

Here in Michigan, we love to bitch about the weather. Too hot, too cold. Too wet, too dry. Etc, etc, etc. But that is the problem with living in a state with four seasons. You are bound to not like at least one of them. For me, that one is winter. I loathe it. If I could crawl into a hole and sleep through it, like a bear, I would. There is simply nothing about winter that I enjoy. Yeah, yeah, it can be pretty, sure. But after 30+ years, I am no longer in awe of the beauty. 
I don't participate in winter sports, nor do I have a desire to do so. Winter clothing makes me claustrophobic, there's just too many damn layers. Being cold makes me angry. Once I get too cold, it is near impossible to get warm again, and it brings out the worst in me. And above all else, it is just annoying. It makes simple things so much more work. Just running to get milk becomes a chore. Put on 10 lbs. of attire, shovel & salt a path to your car, scrape and defrost your car, slip and slide down the road (OK, maybe that part   IS fun...) and repeat. UGH! I'd rather pour water on my cereal and stay home. 
For the most part, I make it through November, December and January with minimal complaint. Come February though, I start getting antsy. By March, I reach full winter bitch mode and I am 200% over it. The endless cold and dreary grayness has created a monster. I get short fused, depressed and start going stir crazy. I NEED sunshine. I need fresh air and the smell of fresh cut grass. I start looking at my sundresses and sandals like a teenage boy looks at porn. With desire and anticipation. My freakishly white reflection in the mirror taunts me. I have full blown spring fever. 
It is a serious condition. If you are from Michigan, or another four seasons place, chances are you've had it. You start wanting to tear apart your home. Open windows, paint walls, buy new furniture, organize the attic & garage, etc. You want to get outside and wash your car, fire up the bbq, plant your garden and feel the grass between your toes. You want to toss all your coats, gloves, scarves and boots into a pile and light them on fire, whilst roasting marshmallows over their ashes. (What? Ok, maybe that last one is just me.) Either way, you get the point. Spring fever takes ahold of you and you just can't shake it. The only cure is blue skies and the feel of sunshine on your bare skin. And it can't happen soon enough. We know it is close. We can smell it in the air, hear it in the sounds of birdsong, see it in the buds on trees and feel it in our souls. But the days and weeks until it is truly here are the longest in eternity. Mother Nature loves to taunt us with a nice day or two to get our spirits up and then slam us with a reminder that it's still winter and that she hates us. Media is no help either. The ads for spring/summer clothing are everywhere, rubbing salt in the wound. There's no escaping it. We just have to ride it out. And bitch about it the entire time, of course. So for those of you stricken with spring fever, I feel your pain. I too, daydream of bare feet and cold drinks. But we must stick together and be patient. We know that Michigan winters are long and tedious. That is why our state is shaped like a mitten. To remind us of that. But spring WILL come. And it will be glorious. And when it does, look out... and have your sunglasses ready, for my glowing white skin should not be looked upon with unprotected eyes. 

Teena's Beefs Part 1

Today I want to talk about some issues I have with the world we live in. I catch myself saying "What the Hell is wrong with people?" way more than I used to. I find that I have a lack of suitable words for the levels of ignorance some people reach. Sometimes I think that maybe it's just me. Maybe I have lost all faith in humankind, and everyone else is just floating along in blissfulness. But that can't be true. Can it??
*Issue 1*
The media. I loathe the news. I refuse to watch it. For starters, it's just too depressing. But it's also so biased and repetitive that I feel like they are pandering to the lowest IQ levels in the viewing audience. In a half hour newscast, they tell the same story at least 4 times. Yeah, we got it. It wasn't that interesting the first time. And do we really need to advertise for the news? We know that it's on at the same times every single day, and God forbid you miss it, don't worry! They'll just be showing the same stories later. Also... would it be too much to ask to tell a positive or uplifting story now and then? When something tragic occurs we hear about it nonstop for days on end, but when/if they do decide to share a worthwhile tale, it gets mere seconds of airtime. We are bombarded by stories and images of death, pain, horror and evil. The media preys on our fears and makes us so paranoid, we are afraid to leave our homes. It's disgusting. I hate to sound old here, but I remember a time when the news was on once in the morning and once in the evening. And if you wanted more, you read the paper. Somehow we all managed to survive then. 
*Issue 2*
Modern TV. Let me just say that 98% of what is on the television these days is pure crap. The days of entertaining, educational, family and quality TV are long gone. When TLC is airing shows like "Here comes Honey Boo Boo" you can no longer call yourself The Learning Channel. We have shows encouraging teen pregnancy, cultural stereotypes, and pure ignorance. Even kids cartoons are garbage. Where is the education in "Sponge Bob"? Reality TV is taking over, but it's so far from reality, it should be called even more poorly acted television. These shows aren't real life. Come on, people. Oh you spent 20 years looking for your soul mate and had no luck? I'm sure he/she just happens to be in this assortment of wanna be models that some random producer selected. *eye roll* It's time to get a grip. We are allowing TV to turn us into morons. And don't even get me started on what it is teaching the younger generations... It is a sad day in the world when people are rushing home, not to spend quality time with their families, but to make sure they don't miss the latest episode of crap TV. But don't panic! If you do miss it, you can always catch it on Netflix, Hulu or DVR it on reruns. 
*Issue 3*
Schools. What the hell is happening in our schools? We don't have enough money to pay for teachers, bus drivers and supplies? But there is enough money to pay sports stars and celebrities multi million dollar contracts?? How did this happen? When did education in this country fall so far down the scale of importance that we don't even bat an eye when we hear of another school closing? Education should be a given. Teachers should be paid more, not less. We expect the impossible from them and then can't wait to cut their salaries and benefits at the first opportunity. And parents, wake up! Stop blaming teachers and administrators for your failures as a parent. Their job is to teach your child to read and write. It is YOUR job to teach them right from wrong. If you spent half as much time helping your children with their schoolwork as you do watching trash TV, little Bobby could probably get into Harvard. Get your priorities in order. Quit bitching about how you have to keep bringing in pencils and paper and just be thankful your child still has a school to go to. Problems don't magically solve themselves. Join the school board, volunteer, have a fundraiser. Do your part to make sure that your child gets the education and support they deserve. Don't expect everyone else to do it for you. 
*Issue 4*
Entitlement. When did getting rewarded for doing nothing get popular? I don't recall this as a kid. We didn't get trophies just for showing up. You got trophies for winning and trying hard. I see parents rewarding children for doing things that should just be expected. Oh so you remembered to flush the toilet? Here's some candy. WHAT!? No, no, no. I hear parents bribing their kids all the time. "If you just behave, mommy will take you to McDonalds when we leave." Huh? How about, "If you don't behave, mommy will spank you." Good behavior should be a given. By bribing and rewarding kids for doing what they should, you are teaching them to misbehave. If I act bad, then mommy and daddy will offer me a treat to stop. Good plan. I can't wait to see how that kid handles his first job. This is lazy parenting and it needs to stop. If you don't have the patience and time required to raise your kids properly, then here's a clever idea... don't have them. As parents, you cannot be afraid of your child. YOU are the boss, not them. You make the rules and they follow them. End of story. We have to stop catering to kids and allowing them to make decisions that they are not mature and capable of making. Yes, you may choose what outfit you wear, but you will eat the healthy dinner that I put in front of you. If they don't like it, too bad. You are the parent, not the friend. Your children should love and respect you, not want to party with you. We need to teach kids that hard work and dedication will earn you things, not temper tantrums and handouts. 
*Issue 5*
Common Decency. As a society, we are becoming more and more numb to tragedy. (See issue 1 above as reasoning.) We cry over commercials about abused dogs and cats, but ignore the homeless we pass on our way home. We piss and moan about not having the newest and best clothes, cars and homes and forget that there are many without food and water. We post pics and quotes about being a good Christian but turn our backs on those in need because it makes us uncomfortable. We say we are thankful for our military, but complain if our tax dollars go to support an injured vet. (Did you know that a quarter of this nation's homeless are veterans?) We buy our kids all the latest gadgets and goodies, but refuse to donate to Children's Hospitals and Toys for Tots. We see a nation of people who are dying of disease and starvation and we can't wait to convert them to Christianity, but don't bother with life saving drugs and clean water. We have fundraisers to buy new football jerseys for our kids, but pretend that we don't know that little Suzy and her family are living in a van. We need to start being better. We need to judge less and help more. We need to care about our fellow man, regardless of his skin color, financial status or religion. We need to be kind. Because someday, you may need the kindness of strangers. 

Bad Days... Grief Style

We all have bad days. Those mornings when you know from the moment your eyes open that things are just not going to go well. 
With Grief, those days are not uncommon. But they don't have to start bad. They can change at any given moment, for any reason, or no reason at all. After losing a child, you are NEVER the same again. You have what I refer to as a "new normal" and it is far from normal. Most days it means hanging on to your sanity by a thread. A very frayed, tattered and weak thread...
These bad days are not the kind of days where a good laugh, a tall drink or any amount of sheer willpower can fix. They cannot be "shaken off" and you can't just decide to "get over" them. They will come and go as they please. The best you can do is try and stay positive, distracted and hope it eventually passes before full on depression sets in. That's it. There's no magic cure or instant fix. It is just a part of the "new normal" that Grieving parents learn to deal with. And if you have a loved one who is going through this, just be kind. Invite them to lunch or to go for a walk, ask them if they want to talk about how they're feeling, give them a hug or just sit with them. But don't tell them to suck it up, or move on. Don't tell them that being sad doesn't change anything. Don't remind them of the reasons they have to feel better. None of that matters, and it is just going to piss them off. A Grieving parent can NOT change how they feel. Nor should they be asked to. We lost a part of ourselves that we can never get back. Our heart is not merely broken, it is shattered beyond recognition. And though you may be able to sympathize, unless you have experienced it, you cannot truly understand. So don't pretend to. Don't compare what they are feeling to anything else. There is no comparison. Period. 
Dealing with a Grieving parent is a practice in patience and compassion. It is not for everyone. That is something I learned almost immediately. There will be few people who step up to the challenge and MANY who walk away. You just learn to accept it. Most people just want you to go back to how you were before the loss of your child. They want you to not be sad, or angry or hurt. They want you to move on, because they've moved on. What people need to understand is that you NEVER go back to who you were before. That person died with your child. You become a new and different version of yourself. You will always be sad, angry and hurt. And you will NEVER move on. You learn to deal, you continue living, but some part of your heart and soul remain frozen with the loss. Does this mean a Grieving parent cries all the time? Or is bitter and angry constantly? Not at all. (Though I'm sure there are some who are.) We still laugh and smile and find happiness in things. But there is a layer of sadness and pain below the surface at all times. And sometimes, it breaks through. Without permission or logic. Trust me, we don't like it any more than you do. But it is our reality. 
I hate Bad Days. I have always prided myself on being able to control my emotions and keep myself in check. Those days are long gone. Now, anything from a commercial, to a bag of cheese balls can trigger an emotional reaction. Public displays of emotion are the worst, but I'll be damned if they don't happen. Grief takes one look at your pride and says "Watch this." and makes of mockery of it. Grief wreaks havoc on even the best waterproof mascara. 
Bad Days and Grief go hand in hand. There is no way around it. So you do what you have to do to get through them and that's it. Personally, I use sarcasm and snarkiness as a tool, but that's certainly not for everyone. So if you are having a Bad Day, don't get angry at yourself. Just accept that you need some time and do whatever you have to. Scream, cry, eat, run, etc. There is no right or wrong solution. Don't let other people (who have no idea what you are going through) tell you how to feel or act. And if you have those amazing people, who have stepped up to the plate and continued to support you, turn to them. More than anything, they want to comfort and help... so let them. (I need to remember these things, too.) 

A Letter To My Son...

Dear Zach,

I dreamt about you last night. But that is nothing new... I dream of you almost every night. I relive memories and moments of your life. I hear people talk about their loved ones coming to them in dreams, and talking with them. Hearing them say they are ok and that they know they love them. I would give anything for a dream like that. Why don't you come to me? I have so many questions. Are you ok? Will I see you again someday? Can you see and hear me when I talk to you? I talk to you a lot. Sometimes I swear I can even hear your voice answering me in my head. Or hear you laugh at me when I do something stupid. 

I sat in your room for a long time this morning. I read a bunch of the messages that were written to you at the luminary service. I still haven't read them all. It's too painful... Someday I'll finish them. I like to sit and look at your photos and talk to you. Sometimes I wear one of your shirts. You used to think it was kinda cool when I would steal your shirts. Mostly because it meant you were getting bigger, and you were obsessed with getting taller. You wanted to be big, like your Dad, and I wanted to keep you little forever. I would have settled for just having you forever... 

I miss you so much. I miss our talks about anything and everything. I miss teasing your Dad together and cracking up at the goofy things he does. I even miss you two making fun of me and laughing so hard you were crying. I miss all the stupid little things we used to do as a family. I miss all the big things, too. Spring is coming, and that means all your friends are on Spring Break. I wonder if you would've wanted to go somewhere again. Maybe this year we would've gone somewhere with you. We'll never know now... As much as I'm looking forward to spring and warmer weather, I know it'll only make me miss you more. 

Each day that passes makes me miss you more. You've missed so much. It isn't fair. This world is such a shitty place, and people like you made it better. So why you? People ask me why I don't believe in God, and I ask them how I could. Would a truly loving and caring God take someone so young and so kind? Someone who lit up the world just by being in it. Someone who helped others and had such a giving heart. If there really is a reason for everything, then at the very least we should know why we suffer. Otherwise, why bother. I don't want to believe in a God who forgives the guilty and punishes the innocent. I hear people say that you are in a better place now. Where? And how do they know that? I hope for your sake that it's true. You deserve the best. I just wish you could tell me that you're ok. That you're safe and happy. That you aren't scared or in pain. I hate the not knowing. I hate not being able to fix it. There's no kiss or band-aid to make this all better and it makes me feel helpless. 

I know I'm just rambling on... there are just so many things I want to say to you. So many hugs I want to give you. There was still so much left for you to do. I hate this... Today is not a good day for me. I try and stay positive and do what I promised you, but sometimes I just can't. I'm sorry... Sometimes it all just gets to be too much. Maybe I'm not strong enough to do this. I could sure use your light today, kiddo. 

I love you bunches and bunches, Boy Child...

Sandblast Rally 2013

This past weekend, Dan and I attended our first official stage rally event. Sandblast in Cheraw, SC. In the week leading up to our departure, things started looking like they weren't going to work out for our team. (We had recently been added as the newest members of Noble Star Rally. click here to visit their website) Their other car that was supposed to attend wasn't ready on time, their crew chief and manager were ill, other team members weren't available, etc. It just wasn't looking good. But Amanda & Derrick (driver and co-driver) were determined to make it, and we were not going to let them down. We had no idea what to expect, but it was an adventure, and we were all for it. So the day we left, it was just the 4 of us, and 3 dogs. Maybe not the ideal team, but a team none-the-less. 
The road trip went well. Long, but uneventful. We arrived to our campsite very late, and to much colder weather than we had anticipated. It felt like MI. Brrr. But, we stayed positive and pushed through. During our trip down, we had found out that a few guys had volunteered to help us out. This was a pleasant and much appreciated surprise. 
Friday morning, we were up early and ready to get the show on the road. Amanda & Derrick headed off to do a radio spot, and Dan & I got the truck loaded and ready for tech. Once they were back, we headed into town to register, clean up the car and get into tech. We were all in high spirits, laughing and joking and having a great time. We had Hank the Gnome with us, ready for his photo op. (Turned out, he was quite the popular guy. People couldn't wait to snap his picture and chuckle with us as we posed him endlessly.) Tech went smoothly, thanks to the delightful Marcel. He not only joined in the fun with Hank, but gave us directions to shakedown and some helpful tips. While at tech, we were joined by our lead volunteer and all around great guy, Gino. We all knew instantly that he was a great fit for our goofy little group. 
From tech, we headed to shakedown. This was a good chance to test out the car on the sand, and see and talk to many of the other drivers and teams. It went flawlessly, and after more photos with Hank, we headed off to Parc Expose. This was basically just a chance for the locals to check out the cars, meet and greet with the drivers and for everyone to socialize. 
The next morning (Saturday) was rally time. We were all in great moods and excited to get started. Gino and his 3 guys set up our service area bright and early, allowing us to spend a little extra time with Amanda & Derrick before the race. 
Once they headed off, we took off for service and to meet the rest of our makeshift crew. I'd like to take a moment, and say that these guys were AWESOME. They jumped in with both feet and kicked ass. Service ran with military precision, and Gino, Hector, Kai and Shane kept Dan and I laughing the entire time. Our group fit together like puzzle pieces, and service ran so smoothly, we even had plenty of time for more hilarious photos with Hank. The rally went well, and Amanda & Derrick placed 3rd in their class and 9th overall. A great finish! After the rally, everyone headed into town where a local restaurant/bar hosted the dinner and awards party. We spent the remainder of the night chatting and laughing with TONS of great people. Marcel, Ryan, Kevin, Brian, Anders, etc. the list is never ending. We were all freezing cold and exhausted, but no one wanted to leave. It was that much fun. A perfect end to a pretty damn perfect weekend. 
And I haven't even told you the best part. Dan & I had brought a small container of our son's remains with us. We weren't sure if we would do anything with them, but since the whole thing started with us trying to fulfill a dream of his (and Dan's) it only made sense to have some there. Originally, we toyed with the idea of spreading them at the starting line of stage 1. But after talking more about it, we thought it would be more fitting to have him in the car. We weren't sure how to bring this idea up to Amanda and Derrick, or how they would feel about it. But, since they had been so amazing up to that point, I figured... what the hell. So, I pulled Amanda aside and just asked what she thought. With no hesitation at all, she said absolutely. She told us to pick wherever we felt comfortable placing him and even helped us decide on the perfect location. Zach was finally going to be in a rally. It was bittersweet and very emotional for us. But as usual, Amanda & Derrick handled it and us perfectly. Shortly after placing him in the car, I found a white feather (I've been finding them since Zachary's passing. Often when I need them the most or on special days.) and I knew this was a sign that we had made the right decision and that the Boy Child was happy. Right after finding it, Amanda asked me if we minded leaving him in the car. She said she felt safer having him there. This time I had no hesitation. I showed her the feather and explained what it meant. Zach had given us the answer even before the question had been asked. He always was a smart kid... 
We arrived home on the 7 month anniversary of his passing. 7 months of being completely lost and broken. But for the first time, we felt hopeful. We knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we were on the right path. The one that Zach was leading us down...