Car Guys vs. Car Douches

I spend a good deal of time in and around the automotive world, and one thing I learned early on, is that there are car guys and car douches. To the untrained eye, they might not be distinguishable, but if you know what to look for, you can certainly tell the difference.
While it's safe to say that some brands of vehicles certainly attract one or the other, that is not a surefire way to tell them apart. Although it is a good place to start. For instance, if a guy drives a super jacked up diesel truck, with ridiculously large tires, a freakishly loud exhaust, truck nuts, and a rebel flag anywhere in it or on it, it's a safe bet he's a douche bucket.
Here are a few other observations I've noticed about car douches:
If you buy all of your car mods from the local auto parts store (Look, more chrome trim pieces!) you are probably a car douche.
If you spend all day on internet forums reading about what everyone else is doing to their cars, shit talking about how much horsepower your last "mod" gave you, and "how fast it is on the strip"... you are most likely a car douche.
If you spend more time standing next to your car while it's parked, than driving it, you are probably a car douche.
If you back your car in every single time you park, even if it's just for a quick party store run (and it's not for a valid reason) you are probably a car douche.
If you have stickers for parts manufacturers on your car, and you don't actually have those parts on the car... you are probably a car douche.
If the first thing you ask another car guy is "What does it run?" Or "How much horsepower does it have?" odds are.... you're probably a car douche.
If you do a burnout from every stoplight, and try to "race" the other cars, even when they are clearly not participating.... you are most likely a car douche.
If you park 100 miles from every other car in a parking lot, and take up multiple spaces, you are probably a car douche.
If you have the most bad ass, fast, modified, wicked sick car, and you never once got your hands dirty working on it... you are probably a car douche.
If you have a windshield banner announcing the make or model of you car, and it's not for sponsorship reasons... you are probably a car douche.
If you have a personalized plate that insults another type of car (RICEEATR, V8LOL, etc.) you are probably a car douche.
Obviously, I could go on, but I think you get the idea. There are real automotive enthusiasts, and there are posers.
Real car guys appreciate a quality vehicle, regardless of the manufacturer. Real car guys worry less about horsepower, and more about drivability. Because real car guys know that it doesn't matter how much power your car has, if you can't put it to the ground and control it... it's useless. Real car guys get dirty working on their cars, and take pride in it, they don't just pay someone to do it. Real car guys don't memorize information, they learn it through hands on experience. Real car guys don't just talk cars, they actually drive them. Real car guys know where the best junk yards and salvage yards are, not just the location of the nearest Auto Zone.
And for the record... real car guys are a hell of a lot sexier than car douches.

I'm lucky enough to be married to a real car guy, and this is just one of our 4 wheeled babies.
                                            Photo credit: M.Campbell Photography