You probably think I'm crazy to say that, and there's a solid possibility that I am, but it's the truth.
You're probably wondering why. Well... for lots of reasons. Here are 8 reasons why I am excited for the End of Days.
1. I plan on surviving it.
Maybe that sounds arrogant. And that's fine. But the reality is, I think I'm pretty equipped to deal with whatever the end brings. For starters, I don't panic in sketchy situations. I am capable of keeping my wits about me, and dealing with the task at hand, even when those around me are freaking out. I'm capable of thinking outside the box, and coming up with creative problem solving, which is crucial during an apocalypse.
2. I'm married to a beast.
Now, I know what you're thinking. "But Teena, you can't fight off the zombies on your own." And you're right, I can't. Luckily for me, I'm partnered up with the Bald Terminator. He doesn't even need fancy weapons. Give him a hammer and look the fuck out. Not only is he smart and strong, but with his handy skills, and my crafty skills, we will totally have the most bad ass shelter around.
3. The vehicles.
Have you seen Mad Max? I mean, c'mon. I can't wait to raid parking lots and junk yards and build the meanest, fastest, most sick ride around. Think rally car meets military Humvee. That bitch will drive over, around, and through anything (and anyone) that gets in its way.
4. Mass clean up.
The world is overrun with stupid people. And if you think that's not true, odds are, you're among them. The fact is, we are long overdue for a cleansing. Survival of the fittest and natural selection will make a much needed comeback, and dammit, I am ready for that.
5. I have a particular set of skills.
Ok, so I'm no Liam Neeson, but I do have a random assortment of talents that are relatively useless in the world we currently live in, but would come in hella handy in a post apocalyptic society.
6. What better way to cure boredom?
Routines are ok, but they definitely get old at some point. The same drive day after day. The same dinners night after night. The same views, people, and activities on repeat. But if you're fighting to survive, you'd be moving a lot, dealing with new challenges, and would probably rarely get bored. Plus, the constant adrenaline would make for some insane sex. Amiright?
7. Who needs sleep?
I have horrible insomnia, and have had it for as long as I can remember. In an apocalyptic situation, this would actually be a good thing, because there would always be something to do. You know... something besides watching porn.
8. Zombie killing relieves stress.
I'm going to be brutally honest here... I fantasize about killing people on the regular. The idiot who cuts me off in traffic, the Kardashians, every person on reality television, etc. But I can't do it because it's "wrong". But zombies.... they NEED killing. So every time someone said something stupid (which, ideally, would be a lot less often, since most of the morons would have already been eaten or killed) I could take my stress and frustration out on the undead. It's really a win win.
I could go on, but I think you get the idea. What's not to love about the end of days? Now granted, I would prefer more of a global blackout situation, because I really enjoy camping, and I think zombies would be a real buzzkill for that. But if it's more 'Red Dawn' or 'The Walking Dead' I can learn to deal. Whatever the Apocalypse brings, I feel confident that I'm ready for it.
Now we wait....
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| Lest I forget, the incredible fashions of a Mad Max type world. These are right up my alley.... |
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