First Day of School

Today's the day. After a final hurrah to summer, all the kiddies are headed back to school today. A day filled with mixed emotions for parents. While many of you will just be happy to use the bathroom in peace after 3 months of summer break, there's also a bit of sadness to see them head off into the unknown of a new year. For some, it's all new. Kindergarten, with their first backpacks, and first taste of real freedom from mom and dad. For others, it's the first day of middle school, or high school. Wondering if they'll remember their locker combination, and make it to each class on time.
Days like today are whopping reminders of just how fast time really does go by. Weren't they just born yesterday? Where did our babies go?
Parents... I've been where you are. I've counted down the last days of summer, and thought I couldn't wait for school to start. To have my moments of peace and quiet back, and to take a shower or run an errand without the fear of an unsupervised youth burning the house down whilst trying to cook Easy Mac.
I've sat at bus stops with tears in my eyes when I watched him head off, hoping that he would turn around just one more time to wave goodbye.
I've sat at the kitchen table after seeing him off, and thought it was much too quiet in the house now.
I've felt the nerves of hoping nothing goes wrong, and the guilt of being just a little grateful for a morning to myself.
Now... the first day of school holds mixed emotions for other reasons. I love seeing all the first day photos, but they also break my heart. I remember those days like they were yesterday. Seeing all the posts and pics is a reminder of not just days gone by, but of the passing of time.
While other kids are getting older, our son is eternally 18. While his friends are starting their third year of college, he never even had a chance to start his first.
The first day of school marks a new beginning, a fresh start, a time to reflect on where you've been, and where you are headed. It's a time for parents and kids to be excited about the future.
But not for me.... I'm not excited about the future anymore. Each day is just one more without my son.
There's no first day jitters anymore. No emotional send offs. No awkward teenage goodbye hugs and kisses. There's nothing.
So parents... I beg of you... please treasure these moments. Don't just take a photo, but take a moment and truly capture a memory. Hold them for just a few seconds longer before you push them towards the door. Tell them you love them, you'll miss them, and wish them the best day ever.
And when they get home, ask about their day. And really listen. Put your phones down, your tablets away, and look into their faces when they talk. Watch the emotions play across their eyes, and remember that this moment will be gone before you know it, and you'll never get it back. Dinner can wait, but they can't.

(Zach on his first day of first grade, so many years ago.)